Missing In Action
by Katiikiinz
Summary: Kirk is MIA and although his crew are desperate to find him, their new Captain, Spock, has been given new orders, which include giving up the search for him. With Kirk trapped in a place he doesn't even remember, will they find a way to return him to the Enterprise? - Lots of Jim!Hurts - COMPLETE -
1. Chapter 1

_**Authors Note:**_

 _So, I'm kinda back! I've had the writing itch finally return after a good 6 months. Escape from Sondara isn't finished, however its pretty much there. I have the WORST writers block and have no idea on how to round it up nicely, but the idea for this story has been in my head for a while._

 _You may recognise it a little. It's based around another Star Trek fan fiction, which isn't actually on this site - that I know of. Its called 'Mind Sifter' and written by Shirley Maiewski. Its from the Star Trek New Voyages group. You can find it on YouTube. Its incredibly well written and I loved the idea of it all. However, as a vivid Jim!Hurts fan, I felt that some of the questions I found myself asking were left unanswered. As I couldn't jump straight into the end of the story, without the possibility of some of you asking what the flip was going on, I wrote out chapters one to ten based mostly on the original story, just tweaking it a little (by changing Character Names and going into a little more depth).Chapter 11 onwards is all my original work. If you enjoy the overall story of it all, I urge you to go and watch The Mind Sifter on YouTube. Its played out fantastically._

 _I thank you for your patience as I write this._  
 _As always, reviews and private messages are my muse - you inspire me. I always try my hardest to reply to all of them, especially those with questions. But please remember, I cannot personally reply to guest reviews, although I would love to!_

 _Enjoy! - Katie ;)_

 _ **I Do Not Own Star Trek, Star Trek New Voyages or The Mind Sifter by Shirley Maiewski.  
**_ _\- But I do wish I owned Chris Pine._

* * *

 **Missing in Action**

 **Chapter One**

 _Everything hurts… why does it hurt?_

 _What's going on?_

Jim opened up his blood shot eyes as wide as he could, forcing them to focus. He looked around what he could only assume was an empty movie theatre. He started to scan the room for any clues of how he got here but all he saw were empty dusty chairs, rows and rows of them. An old black and white movie was being projected on a large paper screen in front of them, a movie that even he didn't recognise.

He desperately wanted to move his body, he didn't feel safe here. Jim attempted to take a step, looking down at his bare feet. The loose fitting light blue trousers felt unfamiliar to him, as he looked up his legs. Moving one foot forwards felt like complete agony, he felt a sharp pain in his ribs with every inhale of breath. He soon lost his balance as his ankle rolled with the shift of weight, he had no choice but to collapse to his knees. He wrapped his arms around his torso, the pain was too intense and he had no choice but to pant through the pain.

The movie still played in the background, Jim attempted to focus on the voices he heard rather than the pain he felt.

 _"You don't understand, you can't leave me!"_

 _"Why not! It's not like I have anything around here for anymore!"_

 _"Because I love you!"_

 _"What did you say?"_

 _"I love you, Captain…"_

Suddenly a huge wave of intense pain entered into each side of his head. Jim had no choice but to let out a yell, squeezing his eyes closed and instinctively grabbing his head. It felt as if two drills were drilling into each side of his skull. He collapsed to the floor, he no longer heard the movie and just felt the aching agony. Unfamiliar voices flooded into his mind as he screamed out for help;

 _Sir … read me?_

 _Red Alert…_

 _Shields Up…_

"Jimmy! It's ok! I'm here now." A woman's voice called out to him from afar as the pain suddenly stopped. Jim stayed still on the floor, cradling his throbbing head as hot tears dripped down his cheeks. He had no control, he had no memories and he no idea where he was.

A pair of warm, soft hands wrapped around him, stroking his hair in an attempt to relax him. Jim had no idea who it was but, for the first time, he felt safe.

"It's ok… Shhh, its ok." The soft woman's voice whispered into his ears. "We need to get you back to the hospital, ok?"

Jim continued to sob, allowing his eyes to slit back open slightly as he allowed the tears to continue to flow. He looked at the woman's black high heeled shoes, not recognising who they belonged to.

"Doctor Harrison! Move away! He's dangerous!" called from the distance. More voices he didn't recognise.

Two men dressed in white jackets and matching trousers entered the abandoned theatre, running closer to Jim and Doctor Harrison.

The safe arms left him, as Doctor Harrison rose to her feet.

"Please, don't hurt him. He's had enough, I just need to get him back."

"It's not a risk I'm willing to take, Doctor." Said one of the men, as he placed his powerful strong arms on her to move her away from Jim. "This isn't the first time he's escaped and tried to fight his way away from us."

"Escaped the mental house, aye? Well we will soon have you back there." The other man spoke with an angry tone. "Stand up boy!" he ordered Jim.

Jim was still unable to move, he kept his head down, hoping the men would leave him alone with the woman he felt safe with, but he was wrong.

"Fine. Looks like we are playing it the hard way again." The man with the angry voice spat. "Grab him!"

The other man, who was yet to speak to Jim, grabbed Jim's arms and held them tightly behind his back. He pulled Jim up to his feet and a huge wave of pain swept through the whole of Jim's broken body.

Jim opened his red eyes again, attempting to look around again, but the pressure in his head was too much. The constant ache made his eyes feel like they were fit to burst. He attempted to move his hands away, to cradle his hurting body, but it was no good. The man who held them in place just tightened his grip.

"Say goodnight, sunshine." The angry man growled, before swiftly punching Jim around the face.

Jim had no choice but to allow the darkness to consume him. The voices in his head fell silent as the pressure eased.

The angry man wiped the blood off his knuckles as he looked at Doctor Harrison.

"Report me and next time I won't be so gentle."


	2. Chapter 2

_**Authors Note:**_

 _Hello and thank you to all my followers for following the story!  
Here's chapter two. Ideally I'd like longer chapters, but I guess the shorter they are the more I can update and also it may make the story easier to follow. After all - we need to learn how Jim ended up where he did!  
Any reviews would be deeply appreciated._

* * *

 **Chapter Two**

The crew of the Enterprise had been in Orbit of planet Zander VI for the last 30 days, searching for their missing landing party. They had received orders to deliver medical supplies to the planet due to a sudden increase in pregnancies with the local species. It was supposed to be a normal, easy mission, but Captain Kirk always insisted in joining land missions. McCoy always thought of it as an excuse to be nosey. Spock thought it was logical for Jim to expand his knowledge of the planets and their species. Scotty always thought it was so he could smuggle new foods aboard for him to try and Uhura just thought of it as an excuse to flirt with whatever female species the planet held. But the truth of it all was, Jim was attracted to the danger, the new and the unfamiliar. In a way, they were all right. He did like to be nosey, learn about the planet and their cultures.

Most of the landing party, including Doctor McCoy, were found within hours of losing communication. However, Captain James T Kirk, was still missing and nobody could explain why.

The USS Lexington, captained by Admiral Archer, had joined them to assist them in the search for the last week but with no luck.

Spock sat still in his quarters as he meditated. He had star map cartridges scattered all over his desk, with a pile of those they had checked to one side. Unfortunately the pile was a lot bigger than the pile they hadn't checked, and even those were planets that were a good few days away at warp speed. The likely hood of finding the captain there was incredibly small.

"Commander Spock, Admiral Archer has requested your presence aboard the USS Lexington immediately." The sound of Uhura's voice entered the still room, causing Spock to leave his state of meditation.

He opened his eyes and flicked the comm on to reply; "Understood lieutenant. Spock out."

He rose to his feet and left for the transporter room, although he didn't know what the admiral wanted exactly, he knew it wasn't going to be the news he wanted to hear. 

* * *

"Commander Spock, reporting as ordered." Spock said, stepping to the Admiral Archers office. The USS Lexington was a lot bigger than the Enterprise, meaning the Admiral received a personal office quarters of his own.

"Come in, Commander. Have a seat." Admiral Archer ordered without looking up from his paper work, but still managing to wave a hand towards the chair opposite him.

Spock sat as the Admiral had ordered, remaining focused on Archers face, rather than his paper work.

"Operational status of the Enterprise?" Archer asked, looking up at Spock.

"Vessel and crew performing at peak performance, sir." Spock answered.

Archer took a deep breath. "…and the Acting Captain?"

"Also performing a peak performance, sir." Spock said, without hesitation.

Archer put his pencil down and clasped his hands together on the desk.

"He's been missing a month now. You and your crew have searched every square inch of Zander and its surrounding moons, Captain Kirk is not here."

"A logical assumption, Admiral. However, not yet conclusive." Spock answered, keeping himself composed.

"Starfleet has… concerns, Spock." Archer said, as he picked his pencil back up and looked at his desk monitor. "This area, Zander VI, is classed as an open planet. Everyone is welcome as long as they do not disturb the peace. Which makes having an armed federation cruiser in orbit a month, hard to justify. The Lexington is here to patrol the region in a show of strength. The Enterprise will be joining us in the patrol."

Spock shook his head. "Admiral, it is important we understand what happened. He was on the planet, he disappeared. How was the security compromised? By whom? We must find him… Otherwise Captain Kirk may not be the only Starfleet officer at risk."

An awkward silence filled the room, before Archer let out a sigh.

"Spock, has it occurred to you that Captain Kirk, may be dead." Archer felt a lump grow in his throat and the hairs on the back on his neck rise. He knew how much of a hero Kirk was to Starfleet.

Another awkward silence filled the room.

"Yes... But we have no evidence to support that theory." Spock answered with ease. "Admiral, has it occurred to you that Captain Kirk's disappearance could be connected to the increased activity with the Klingon's along the neutral boarders?"

Archer nodded his head. "Yes… it has been discussed. It is possible for the Klingons to believe that with the removal of Captain Kirk, it would reduce the military effectiveness of the Enterprise. No offence to your captaincy skill, Commander. But the Enterprise without Captain Kirk on the bridge, is not the same ship."

"No, it is not. Admiral." Spock agreed. "Which is why it is important that we continue the search."

"Starfleet's priorities are clear. The Enterprise is needed on the patrol line immediately. Those are your orders." Archer spoke with authority in his voice, as he flicked his desk monitor off and ejected the cartridge containing the Enterprises official orders. Sliding them across the desk to Spock.

"Admiral, with all due respect…" Spock started.

"This is unnegotiable, commander. Those are your orders." Archer interrupted. "I'm sorry Spock, but if the Klingon's are to take us seriously they have to know that both the Lexington and the Enterprise are under strong command."

Archer rose to his feet, placing his hands in the small of his back.

"As of this Star Date, Commander. You are the captain of the Enterprise. You are dismissed… Captain."

Spock rose to his feet, without saying a word.

"Oh and Captain!" Archer called as Spock reached his office doors. "Put on a yellow shirt."

Spock tilted his head, taking in his new orders, "Understood, Admiral." He spoke bluntly, before leaving the Lexington, gripping the new orders cartridge tightly in his hand. 

* * *

Doctor McCoy stood still on the bride with his arms folded. He couldn't help but stare at the empty captain's chair in front of him. His eyes stung from the lack of sleep he abused his body with in the last 30 days.

"Well, where the hell is he?" he snapped, as his eyes finally looked away from the chair.

"Mr Spock beamed aboard 20 minutes ago, I'm sure he's on his way." Uhura said, spinning around from her console.

"I wish he would hurry it up, it's damn inconsiderate to keep a doctor away from his sickbay. Especially when there are people that need me." He huffed. Uhura's calm attitude wasn't enough to soothe his temper this time.

The whoosh of the bridge doors opening stopped the awkward silence left by McCoy's snappy attitude. Spock stepped onto the bridge, with his hands placed in the small of his back again. The yellow shirt he was now forced to wear seemed brighter than ever when the bridge officers turned to greet him. Spock didn't say a word as he moved to the captain's chair, he noticed how every single pair of eyes watched him. He flicked an open channel to the whole ship on and addressed his new crew:

"Attention all hands, this is Commander Spock. Under order of Admiral Archer, I have been placed in command of the USS Enterprise, as its captain. We have received new orders to abandon search and to pick up the patrol efforts on the Klingon boarder. All stations prepare for warp speed. Spock out."

He flicked off the open channel and slowly took a seat in his new chair. McCoy still couldn't take his eyes off Spock, the shock of what he had just heard hadn't set in.

"Mr Sulu. Plot a course for Starbase 24. On arrival you will plot a patrol pattern between there and the boarders of the neutral zone." Spock ordered.

"Sir, that is 2 months away" Sulu questioned his orders, something he rarely had the courage to do, especially with Spock.

"51 days at warp 7. Mr Scott," Spock continued his orders "I assume you can sustain warp 7?"

Mr Scott, who had remained silent this whole time, turned in his chair. "Aye Cap…" He started but it felt wrong to address Spock as the captain. "Aye. I can give you that kind of power."

"Spock!" McCoy had enough, he couldn't watch Spock order the crew around any longer. "Are you out of your Vulcan mind?!" if he wasn't raging before, he was now. "We can't leave here without knowing what happened to Jim!"

"I have my orders." Spock replied, without looking at the Doctor.

"Orders?! To hell with orders!" McCoy found himself raising his voice further.

"That will be all, Doctor McCoy." Spock remained calm, still without looking at the Doctor. "My orders are not your concern. What happens in Sickbay is."

"Spock!" McCoy shouted a lot louder than before, raising a hand.

"Dismissed." Spock ordered McCoy.

McCoy froze. He knew better than to strike anyone, but his rage had overcome him. He lowered his hand and left the bridge swiftly, before he did something he would regret.

"Mr Scott, you will report to Engineering for the duration of the journey." Spock continued to order his bridge crew, unfazed by the emotional outburst of Doctor McCoy.

"Aye, Mr Spock." Scotty said, rising to his feet. The bridge was one place he didn't want to be without Jim anyway.

"Captain… Spock." Spock corrected.

"Aye… Captain." The words left a bitter taste in his mouth, as he left the bridge.

"Navigation."

"Course laid in, Sir." Sulu quickly spoke, before any other outburst happened. "All systems fully functioning. Ready for warp at your order… captain."

"Proceed."

Sulu took one last look at the planet they had lost his captain on. Before slowly pushing the warp thruster forwards, allowing the ship to enter warp speed.


	3. Chapter 3

_**Authors Note:**_

 _Feeling a tad disheartened by this now, but thank you for your patience._  
 _The review has encouraged me to continue for now. I'm hoping that by re-writing the first two chapters I will encourage more followers._  
 _Usually my stories have a few more reviews/followers so its hard to tell if anyone is enjoying this or not._  
 _ANYWAY!_

 _Here we are back to Jim's side of the story, I hope you enjoy!_

* * *

 **Chapter Three**

Jim squeezed his eyes together tightly before opening them slightly. All he could see was the brightness of the ceiling before anything came into focus.

 _Where… where am I?  
Why can't I remember?_

He wanted to move his arms so much, but they were stuck. He wiggled around but the tightness made the grip tighter.

 _Why can't I move?_

 _Has… someone got hold of me?_

His vision began to focus. He didn't recognise where he was at all, he looked around the unfamiliar room. The brick walls were painted in a white glossy paint, the one window was very small and had bars on. He rolled his head to the side, realising he was laying on the cold hard floor. He looked at the large metal door, there was no chance of getting out of that if it was locked.

He lifted his head, to realise nobody was restraining him after all, but he had been placed in a restraining jacket. His whole face ached and throbbed and he had no idea why, nor could he even remember why. He tried to think back, but there was nothing in his mind but darkness.

A young woman opened the door slightly, "Jimmy, are you ready for something to eat?" She peeked into the room, realising the bed was empty. "Jimmy?"

She stepped inside, her familiar black high heels clacked on the hard floor. Her eyes clapped onto Jim, laying still on the floor. She let out a gasp as her hands covered her mouth.

"Oh no! What have they done to you?"

Jim didn't have the strength to reply, he just continued to lay still. Every breath made his ribs scream out in angry pain.

"It's ok, I'm here now." Her soft hands began to undo the restraining jacket.

The doctor's tone felt familiar to Jim, it made him feel safe. He felt his arms loosen from being wrapped around him, allowing them to flop to the side.

"Let's get you up." She said, pulling the jacket away from him. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders, slowly helping him into a sitting position.

"Where am I?" Jim finally spoke. The dryness of his throat made his voice rasp.

"You don't remember?" The doctor looked at him confused.

Jim looked down at his bare feet, he tried hard to think but his mind was blank. "I don't." he shrugged.

Doctor Harrison looked worried, but tried to remain professional. "Do you remember who I am?"

Jim stared into her big brown eyes and thought hard. "Doctor… Harrison?" He squinted his eyes, thinking gave him a headache.

"That's right, but you can call me Penny if you like." She smiled at him.

He liked making her happy, it made him smile back at her. Although smiling made the bruising left on his face from the punching he had received earlier hurt again.

"Alright then, Penny. I like that."

"I'm glad you do, now how about we sit you on the bed rather than this cold floor?"

"I think I'd like that too." Jim started, trying to stand up himself until the pain shot across his body, causing him to stop and inhale deeply.

"Let me help?" Penny asked before wrapping her arms back around his back, to help him to his feet.

Jim rose unsteadily to his feet with her help, shifting most of his weight onto the doctor next to him, even though he didn't realise it at the time. He held his side tightly, causing the doctor to notice.

"Are you still in pain?" She asked, looking concerned at how much sweat beaded in his hair line, after all, all they were doing was moving a couple of steps across the room.

Jim had no energy to answer back and just jolted his head a little. They finally reached his bed and those few steps felt like a marathon for him. He gripped his side tighter as he slowly lowered himself onto the bed. He could feel the springs from the thin mattress press against him as he laid down.

Jim didn't notice how rapid his breathing had become until Penny grabbed his wrist to count his pulse. He desperately needed a distraction.

"Where… am I?" he huffed out between breaths, he had just remembered how she hadn't answered his question from before.

Penny looked up from her watch, letting go of him with her soft touch. "This is an isolation ward, Jimmy. You're in a hospital."

"Hospital?" Jim gasped. He tried to shift his arms back, to prop himself up using his elbow, but the surge of pain caused him to let a groan out instead. "How long?"

Penny let out a silent sigh with worry. "Two weeks now… What do you remember?" She asked, as she walked to a sink in the corner of the room, filling up a small container with some cold water. "Here, drink this." She said, returning to his side.

Jim wasn't thirsty, even though he doesn't remember the last time he drank something. He desperately searched his mind for memories.

"I… I was outside!" The darkness in his mind lifted, he remembered seeing planets in a light yellow sky. He focused further on the memories, picturing himself in his head. "It was cold… I was lost." He could feel his heart beating hard in his chest as the feelings of insecurity rose.

Penny placed a hand on his back, rubbing it slowly. "It's ok, deep breaths." She reassured him. This was the most she had gotten out of him the whole time he was here. "What else?"

"Two security guards!" Jim raised his voice as the memory became clearer. "I remember… they found me. No… No… that's not right."

"Two policemen, they found you and brought you here." Penny continued to rub his back reassuringly.

"They took it from me!" Jim's eyes opened widely as he explored his memory.

"They took what from you?" Penny looked at the man, confused. The policemen that had brought him to the hospital didn't mention anything about belongings. Jim had nothing but the torn, worn clothes on his back. They had to assume he as attacked before he arrived but there were traces of physical abuse on his body, well apart from the two burn marks either side of his head.

Jim thought harder than ever, the memory was fading and there was nothing he could do to bring it back as the throbbing pain continued to drill into his skull.

"I… I… Don't remember." He looked up at the white ceiling, watching the old rickety fan spin. The memory was gone and nothing but darkness surrounded his mind.

 _This isn't right._

 _This isn't fair._

 _Why can't I remember?!_

Jim started to work himself up, feeling frustrated with himself.

"What is this hospital? What happened to me!" he shouted at the doctor who made him feel so protected.

Realising how Jim was still refusing to drink, she took the container back to the sink, placing it on the side.

"It's called amnesia. Are you sure you don't remember anything else?" she asked, moving back towards the beaten man.

"No… No I don't. They took it from me and I don't remember what." Jim's eyes uncontrollably filled with sadness and he couldn't stop the tears from forming as he shook his head like a child. "They took it!" he yelled once more before sniffing.

Penny sat next to him on the bed, pulling him in to her and wrapping her arms around him once more. She spoke no words and just comforted the man and he sobbed against her. She just wanted to help him and right now, this seemed to be the best way to do so.


	4. Chapter 4

**_Authors_** ** _Note:_**

 _Thank_ _you all for your kind words of encouragement. I apologise for the longer update - work has been crazy!  
Thank you again, to everyone that reviewed and send me messages, I hope they continue on as the story grows._

* * *

 **Chapter Four**

Spock sat in his new captain's quarters, working away at the paper work needed in order for his new role of captain, to be official. Another week had slowly passed and although the crew of the Enterprise were unwilling to accept that Jim Kirk was no longer amongst them, they were following orders Spock had assigned to them.

A sudden buzz from the door echoed into the room. Spock didn't even need to look up to sense who it was waiting behind them. "Enter." He called out, continuing with his paper work.

The doors whooshed open and the sound of footsteps followed as the doors closed again. Spock still didn't look up from his paper work, finishing it off with a signature.

"Captain Spock." Doctor McCoy said slyly. Folding his arms tightly across his chest.

"What is it, Doctor?" Spock asked as he placed his completed paper work to the side and flicked on his desk monitor.

"Do you know what day it is?" McCoy asked, continuing with his sly tone.

"As you have access to the ship's computer, I assume that is a rhetorical question." Spock answered, looking at Doctor McCoy's body language – clearly something had upset him.

"That's progress, I assumed you would state it down to the last minute." He sarcastically said.

"As you wish. It is exactly 38.50 days since Jim Kirk's reported disappearance, is that the answer you were looking for?" Spock asked, not quite understanding the sarcasm.

"How can someone as brilliant as you, be so damn stupid?" McCoy had no fears of expressing his true feelings towards anyone. It was one thing that Jim had liked most about it, although Spock could never understand why, as Vulcans could not lie, he had no choice but to be the same. However Jim had always said that McCoy did it with attitude.

"I am a Vulcan." Spock said, as he began to run a program on his monitor.

"That's an explanation, not an excuse. You're a captain now!" McCoy slammed his hands down onto Spock's desk, watching him continue doing his work just infuriated him further. "Start acting like one damn it. Your crew are mourning a loss of someone they cared for, console them. Tell them it'll be alright." McCoy lowered his tone as Spock finally made eye contact.

"Perhaps my obvious genetic contrast, is still, even now, lost on you, doctor…" Spock started, but was soon interrupted. McCoy was on a mission to make Spock understand how the crew felt, but trying to make someone who doesn't feel, show emotion, was difficult. The only man that had ever managed this was currently missing too.

"You're half human too, damn it. Try being half human now… I know it's a stretch." McCoy started, seeing a slight change in Spock's body language as the Vulcan stiffened up at the reminder of that fact he was half human. "This crew is shattered. They need leadership… compassionate leadership."

Spock rose to his feet, he felt a wave of fury through his body, but swallowed it up inside of him. He clenched his fists tightly.

"Compassion?" he whispered.

"It means; to suffer with, Spock. You're saying you're not suffering too?" McCoy eased, noticing Spock's tight fists.

"I am in control of my emotions." Spock said, as he loosened his grip and slowly sat back at his desk. "I expect my crew to be the same."

"We all need healing, Spock." McCoy said, watching Spock continue with his program on his monitor as if he was being ignored.

"That is the job of the ships doctor." Spock said, writing things down on a new electronic clip board he kept placed next to his previous paper work.

"Wrong!" McCoy said, seeing he was losing the fight with Spocks emotions, he slammed his hand back down on the next. "A star ship's captain sets the emotional tone for his crew, and you're doing a damn poor job at it. Archer gave you command of the Enterprise, Spock. What does that tell you of the official status of Captain Kirk? I don't like it either, but we have to face the facts."

"Facts, Doctor? We have no evidence." Spock stated.

"You've taken his command! How do you think his crew feels about that? You always said you didn't want command of the Enterprise but you sure took it quick enough…"

"I took it for the mission." Spock said, feeling the surge of rage beginning to pump through his body as he rose back to his feet.

"Bullshit! You took it for command!" McCoy shouted, pointing his fist at Spock.

Spock grabbed McCoy's fist as silence ran through the room. He squeezed it tightly as the tension built between their bodies with anger. Seconds felt like hours as Spock realised his grip, allowing McCoy to retract his fist away.

"I am in command of the Enterprise, Doctor. How or why it does not matter. Is that clear?"

Silence swept over them again. The doctors scowl remained as he slowly lowered his hand down from his chest.

"Is that clear, doctor?" Spock stated again.

McCoy sighed slightly. "May I be excused… captain?" The sarcasm returning, although Spock didn't pick up on this. He didn't wait for a reply as he moved towards the doors.

"Doctor." Spock said, causing McCoy to stop in his tracks. "Schedule a memorial service for Captain Kirk."

McCoy, who stayed facing the door tilted his head. "Thank you." He said. Clearly something he had said had worked.

"I will not attend." Spock said.

McCoy felt a shiver run through his spine. He knew that Spock, like the rest of the crew, were missing Jim. Even if he didn't admit it. At least today he had made a little progress. He shook his head before marching out the doors.

Spock made his way back to his desk, continuing with his work on the monitor once again.


	5. Chapter 5

_**Authors Note: **_

_Another update! Back to Jim now, soon I hope to answer some questions on how he got here in the first place, but I just needed to clear up some bits first ;)  
Thank you for your continued support through messages and reviews - you are all fantastic people!_

* * *

 **Chapter Five**

Penny had managed to eventually calm Jim down, clean up his face and talk him into getting something to eat. The rumbling in his tummy caused his muscles to ache and the pain in his ribs throb anyway, so he might as well try and soothe that.

The canteen was busier than he would have liked. Full of other men wearing the same plain white t shirt and loose fitting grey trousers, some of them always wore a thin white dressing gown. Jim soon noticed how nobody, other than the doctors, wore shoes or socks. The cold stone floor reminded of the white glossed walls in his room he noticed earlier. He didn't recognise any of this.

"What day is it today?" He asked, as he slowly walked over to an empty table in the corner of the room with Penny.

"It's Tuesday, Jimmy. Now we have tomato soup on offer today, take a seat here and I'll go and fetch it for you." She pulled out a plastic chair from the table causing the legs to squeak across the floor.

"No, I mean, what … date is it today?" Jim asked, the words almost escaped him, as he took a seat, watching the other patients.

"You don't remember?" Penny made a mental note, not remembering the date could mean that his amnesia was more serious than she first thought.

Jim shook his head, everything in his mind was still completely blank.

"That's ok, it'll come back. It's the 13th March, 1958." She smiled at him before she ran to fetch his soup.

Jim's face just looked confused, it may have been a date, but it wasn't a date he recognised. He thought dates were just made of numbers, not words too. His eyes watched Penny walking back towards him, carrying a bowl and a plastic cup. His stomach let out a huge groan as the smell of tomato soup reminded his tummy that he was hungry. Just like the rest of his memories, he couldn't even remember the last time he ate.

"Here eat this, if you need anything I'll just be talking to that doctor by the door." She put the bowl and cup down in front of him and passed him a plastic spoon. She smiled at him as he took the spoon, she noticed the worried look on his face. "It's ok, just have a little and we can try something else tomorrow."

Jim nodded at her as he dipped the spoon into the soup and brought a small amount up to his mouth. He tasted a tiny bit, the thick warm tomato flavour was incredible to him, he couldn't remember the last time he had tasted something so… real.

He took a quick glance over to Penny, she was standing at the door with a male doctor that he didn't recognise. He had a white fluffy beard and wore thick rimmed glasses. He was much older than Penny, his white hair was the biggest give away for Jim to realise that.

Penny smiled at him and nodded her head, hoping to encourage him to eat more of the soup she had prepared for him. He smiled back slightly, the bruising on his face prevented him from moving his face much.

"C'mon Jimmy, just eat a little more." Penny whispered to herself, not noticing that Doctor Leo McKenna was standing next to her.

"Why bother? It just gives him the energy to cause fights with the other patients." He replied to her, even if she didn't want to listen.

"Sir, he is my patient. I will not allow him to suffer." Penny took her eyes of Jim quickly, scowling at the old doctor next to her.

"A little suffering is good for the soul, my dear." He said, as he watched Jim take another small mouthful of his soup.

"He's making good progress." Penny started, defending her work. "Care and compassion go a long way in cases like this, he trusts me."

"Trust doesn't bring his memory back, what he needs is a good course of electrotherapy." Dr. McKenna started, as he pulled an old smoking pipe out of his jacket pocket.

"Electrotherapy is cruel. Not only that, but there is no proof of it curing amnesia!" Penny tried hard to keep her tone low, the last thing Jim needed is to know they were fighting over how to treat him.

Suddenly, the lights out bell rang throughout the hospital. The sound of the bell rang into Jim's ears, causing him to snap up to his feet. He knew that sound… "Red alert! It's a red alert!" he shouted as the rest of his soup spilt onto the table.

"Jimmy!" Penny ran over to Jim, "It's just the lights out bell, remember?"

Jim started to look around the room, marching from corner to corner, pushing the other patients out of his way. "I need to get to the bridge! It's a red alert!"

"Call for the porters! Before he hurts anyone else!" He shouted into the room, instructing the nurses.

Jim pushed past the old man, knocking him into the wall, as he ran out into the hallway.

"No! Leave him! I'll go!" Penny shouted, chasing after Jim.

Images started to flash through Jim's head. Images he knew… he was starting to remember. He saw red doors… silver walls… People in yellow, blue and red shirts, even though their faces were a blur.

Jim finally reached a set of doors at the end of the hallway. "The bridge! It's this way!" he called out, without knowing Penny was chasing after him."

He ran straight into the set of doors, but they didn't open. He knocked his head hard, opening up an older cut on his forehead. Warm blood started to pour down the side of his face, but Jim didn't care.

He hit the doors in front of him, wondering why they wouldn't open for him.

He placed his hands on the bar across them, pushing it down so they swung open. The memories faded.

"The… the…" Jim looked around, the doors didn't lead to the bridge, just an empty stair case. "What... this is all wrong… I needed to…" The darkness swamped his head. "It's gone."

Penny had finally caught up, as she saw Jim searching the stairs. She wrapped an arm around Jim, leading him back to the hallway he previously had run through. "We need to get you back to bed. It's ok…"

"It's gone." Jim whispered. Looking down at his feet.

"It'll get better, you just need time." She explained, leading him back to the cold and empty room Jim had been confined to. "I promise."


	6. Chapter 6

_**Authors Note:**_

 _Just a little one from me this week, hoping to continue writing Chapter 7 tonight though! Thank you for all my wonderful support. You all help me write this.  
I hope the second part makes sense a flows ok._

* * *

 **Chapter Six**

McCoy slumped in his office chair. He clenched a small glass of some sort of green coloured alcohol that Scotty had brought along with him. McCoy was still seeing red from his run in with Captain Spock earlier and had hoped that Scotty would calm him down. Needless to say, he was wrong. The scots' man swayed his weight from leg to leg as he downed shot after shot of the strong liquid.

"You could sit." McCoy said, sipping the alcohol. The burning sensation slid down his throat and oddly, it did make him feel a little better.

"As long as I'm standing, I've not had enough." Scotty slurred. He had been drinking ever since he was dismissed from the bridge. Drinking on duty wasn't something he was accustom to, but luckily he had left someone else in charge for the afternoon. "Did you really say all that to him?" He asked, slowly pouring himself another glass.

McCoy slowly nodded as he watched Scotty almost miss a step as he paced in front of his desk. "Doctor…" He started as he swallowed the glassful in one shot. "I don't know whether to slap your back… or your face." He waved the empty glass in the air at McCoy, just like McCoy would wave a disapproving finger at Jim.

"Don't even think about it." McCoy said, before sipping more of his drink. "You've been in enough fights."

"He's right ya know. He is the captain now." Scotty said as he attempted to pick up the bottle of alcohol to fill his empty glass.

"Well then he should start acting like one." McCoy huffed, almost too quietly for Scotty to notice.

Scotty almost slammed the half empty bottle down on the desk, but stopped himself in time to pour the liquid into his glass. "Is that what you really want?"

McCoy looked away, refusing to admit he was wrong to say that.

"Aye Laddy, me either." He continued to slur, taking another shot of drink.

"I requested a transfer." McCoy said, breaking the silence.

"…and?" Scotty raised his voice, if McCoy could get off the ship then surely there was hope for him too.

"Starfleet refused." McCoy said, sipping more of his first drink. "Spock wouldn't allow it. 'Your departure would negatively impact the ships medical services.' … Nicest thing he's ever said to me." He sighed, taking one last mouthful of his drink.

"Aye…" Scotty lowered his tone, "You know what really scares me, Doctor?" He almost whispered, as he watched McCoy pour himself another drink. "We can go for a few hours… sometimes even a whole day… without thinking about Captain Kirk."

"I know what you mean." McCoy said, swallowing a larger mouthful as he got used to the burning sensation down his neck. "I guess we are getting used to the new normal."

"Aye... and if I'm forgetting… and you're forgetting…" Scotty didn't want to continue his sentence and swiftly moved on. The thought of the whole ship forgetting Kirk so quickly made the green alcohol in his stomach rise back up his throat. "This scheduled memorial service, is that really the way of saying Jim Kirk is really dead?"

McCoy sighed, as he drank a whole glass of the drink before he answered "Even Jim Kirk can't cheat the law of averages forever. We both know that Scotty." He swiftly poured himself another glass, almost finishing the bottle.

"Aye…" Scotty whispered, collapsing in the chair behind him.

"The Captain is dead. Long live the Captain." McCoy stated, he could feel the ripple of pain in his chest where he had to finally come to terms with losing his best friend. He raised his glass to make a toast. "Captain James T. Kirk."

Scotty wanted to join in to toast the man that he had grown to love like a brother, but just couldn't bring himself to do it. He pushed his glass over, placing his head in his hands and the world span around him. 

* * *

Familiar tones entered into Spocks mind, the meditation his body craved was rudely interrupted…

 _Spock…_

 _Help me…_

 _Spock…_

 _I need you… Spock… Find me._

 _Rescue… Me…_

The voice faded away.

Spock had his eyes closed tightly as he continued to meditate. Not even the gentle sound of the ships engines could break his concentration. He knew that voice and he needed it back.

He lifted a hand up to his face, placing his fingers on the correct places on his face to connect with his own mind, desperately seeking the voice to return.

The second he connected images were flashed over and over in his head. It was Jim. He saw moments of before he went missing, then they were gone and new ones appeared. Jim was beaten. His faced covered in blood. His white t-shirt, stained with it also.

 _Spock…_

 _Spock…_

As the images continued to flash, he saw something new. An outline of a being that slowly began to focus… The pointed ears, the yellow tone of skin… the dark hair… was it Vulcan? ... No...

It was Klingon.

Images of Jim's torcher flooded into his mind, his screams echoed into his room. Spock had no choice but to release his mind. Instantly breaking his concentration and snapping his eyes open as if it were all a bad dream.

"Jim." He panted, beginning to wonder if his own mind had become emotionally compromised.

 _Help me Spock…_


	7. Chapter 7

**_Authors_ _Note:_**

 _So now we get to finally learn how Jim got into this mess in the first place... more to come however! This is just the start._  
 _As I am writing in the past, it is all in italics. In order for the story to flow I thought it should be important to show that._

 _Enjoy!_

* * *

 **Chapter Seven**

 _"_ _Just one drink, C'mon Bones! It won't hurt. We aren't due to make contact with the ship for a while now. What Spock doesn't know won't hurt him."_

 _McCoy sighed. "Just the one then, I suppose a little R &R may help lower that damn blood pressure of yours anyway."_

 _"_ _That's the spirit Bones!" Jim cheered. "You go find us a seat, I'll bring them over."_

 _Bones looked around the full bar. Their mission had been a success, the medical centre had even let him assist in one of the births of the planet species. The mother was so thankful for the rapid pain relief she named the baby Leonard James. A most unusual name on planet Zander VI, but quite a fitting one if McCoy did say so himself._

 _He found an empty table, close to the doors and perched there. He looked around for Jim but there were just too many people to see around. It didn't help that the planet species were much taller than both Jim and himself. The bar was loud, but that didn't stop him from hearing his communicator at the time. They had previously lost signal with the ship, something to do with the metal they had built the buildings with, at the time McCoy didn't really care. The communicator buzzed and hissed as he flicked it open. "McCoy here." Between the buzz and crackles of the communicator McCoy could only manage to make out one word._

 _Klingons._

 _He slammed his communicator closed and stood on the chair. "Jim!" He looked around, searching through the crowds of people for the familiar yellow shirt but saw nothing._

 _"_ _Jim!" he called out again, he understood the danger they were in. The last thing he needed to be was separated from the rest of the landing crew._

 _Bones pushed past the crowds, making his way to the bar exit. The second he made it out his eyes searched frantically for his captain but he saw nothing. "Jim!" he called out again, but nothing but silence returned his calls._

 _He stood still, panting as he caught his breath. He wanted to keep running and looking for Jim but he was stopped. A wave of a familiar tingling sensation swept over his body. The next time he opened his eyes he was back on the ship, staring back at Scotty and the rest of the landing party that they were previously split from._

 _"_ _Where's Jim?!" he ordered._

 _"_ _You mean, he's not with you?" Scotty asked, pressing buttons to try and find his signal._

 _"_ _Does it look like he's with me?! Find him! Now!"_

 _"_ _I'm doing my best, Doctor. Although… it looks like…" Silence entered the transporter room. "Get Spock down here now." He ordered the younger transportation engineer._

 _"_ _What? Why?" McCoy asked, still panting heavily._

 _"_ _If my scans are correct, which there is no doubting…then there is no human lifeforms left on that planet. Just the alien's you were sent down to help."_

* * *

 _Jim's eyes almost burst open when the ice cold water touched his bare chest. He struggled to catch his breath as he lifted his head and looked around. He didn't recognise where he was at all, the walls were empty, just like the cell he was in. There was a faint green glow blocking his only exit. He tried to stand up but soon realised he was stuck to the wooden chair he was sat in._

 _"_ _Ah! Captain. Nice of you to join us again."_

 _The strong voice was one he knew._

 _"_ _Korr." Jim stared back at the Klingon ambassador. He was larger built than the other Klingons, not that it made him any stronger. At the drop of a hat any one of the Klingons would do anything he ordered them to do, even if it meant fight to the death. "What is this?" Jim ordered through gritted teeth._

 _"_ _Klingon hospitality, why do you not like it?" He asked, waving a golden cup around causing deep red liquid to spill over his golden command sash._

 _"_ _Don't you mean kidnapping? Are you trying to start a war?" Jim didn't look away from his enemy as his fingers curled into fists behind his back._

 _"_ _Oh on the contrary, Captain. I'm going to end one." Korr said, sipping his drink. "Before its even begun… with just a little… cheating."_

 _Jim looked confused. He hadn't noticed until now how his torso was covered in bruises, the second his eyes spotted them the familiar throbbing pain swept over his body. "Cheating? Isn't that dishonourable_ _?"_

 _"_ _No… Loosing is." Korr paced around Jim, sipping his drink. "Will you have some blood wine captain? I assure you – it isn't drugged."_

 _"_ _Thank you, I'll pass" Jim sneered, keeping his eyes forward._

 _"_ _All of this unpleasantness could have been avoided, with a simple answer to a simple question. Surely you can understand the logic in that" he continued pacing around Jim._

 _"_ _If its logic you want, you've got the wrong guy" He grinned._

 _"_ _Ah yes, your Vulcan comrade. Equally stubborn, as I recall. But you captain, you are not as equally resilient. My associates have asked you this many times, I will only ask you once."_

 _"_ _Thank you that would be a great time saver." Jim carried on with his usual sarcastic attitude, judging by his bruises and the faint taste of blood on his lips, Jim knew he was already in trouble with Bones anyway, a little added sass wouldn't hurt._

 _Korr moved around to face Jim and moved much closer to him than before. "Where is the planet known as… Gateway."_

 _Jim could smell the stench of his breath as he spoke into his face. "I'm only going to answer this once. It's a Starfleet secret." He smirked back._

 _Korr copied Jim's grin. He stepped back towards the glowing force field which kept Jim locked inside. "Thank you. Now we have finished our formal inquiry, we can move on to the next stage." He nodded to the Klingon guards outside and the green glow faded away as he walked out._

 _One of the guards marched in holding some kind of Klingon weapon that Jim hadn't taken notice of before. He heard the weapon charge before the guard jabbed it in to his side, causing electrifying pain to spread across his torso. He had no choice but to yell out in pain._

 _The other guard came in and together they grabbed Jim's arms and dragged him out the cell. Jim had no energy or strength to fight back. His head hung down as he watched his bare feet being dragged through the enemy ship._

 _It wasn't long before they forced Jim's feet to take his own weight again, the numbing from the electrocution Jim had previously received had already worn off as the burning pain in his side warmed up. The guards pushed him into a small room, they stood blocking the only exit. Jim looked around noticing the Klingon symbols all over the walls before finally spotting the machine in front of him._

 _"_ _No…" Jim had only heard of rumours of his machine, but there it was right in front of him. "No!" He turned to try and escape but it was no good. The guards grabbed him and he was still too weak to overpower them. Jim yelled out for help, but knew nobody was coming. The two guards lowered him to a large metal chair, strapping all his limbs into place. He squirmed around, desperately trying to escape but it was no good. The straps were just made tighter. Tingling feelings entered both his hands and feet where the blood supply was slowly being cut off, but Jim didn't stop moving, the straps slowly started to cut into each wrist, he knew what was coming._

 _Korr placed a large metal helmet over Jim's head. "Now keep still and accept your fate with my Mind Sifter… Captain… James… Tiberius… Kirk."_

 _Korr switched the machine on and the grinding sounds of metal filled the small room. The helmet placed onto Jim's head clung there as two small parts of it moved onto each side of his temple._

 _The burning pain instantly caused Jim to yell out for more help, but the Klingons just watched on._

 _The straps dug further and further into his wrists, causing blood to drip down onto the floor below him._

 _The machine made its way into his mind, exploring all his known memories and thoughts. Jim fought the intrusive pain hard, trying to stop it, but it was no good. The intense burning in the side of his head made bile rise in his throat until finally, his body gave up and darkness consumed him._


	8. Chapter 8

**_Authors Note:_**

 _Chapter 8! We are about to find out what exactly happened to Captain Kirk now, so I hope you like it! Spocks darker side is still apparent here, however I promise you we will get to the end of it all!  
_

 _Enjoy!_

 _*Past tense remains in italic format*_

* * *

 **Chapter Eight**

Sulu sat at the captain's chair, watching the other unfamiliar faces work away on the bridge. He had volunteered to stay behind and man the bridge while the others attended Captain Kirks memorial service McCoy had arranged. A decision he soon regretted as his fingers curled into a fist with frustration. There were just too many unanswered questions and there wasn't a single soul in board that didn't want to know what happened to their captain. Well, apart from Spock who remained as emotionless as before.

He heard the whooshing sound of the bridge doors open behind him. He took a quick glance behind him to see Spock standing there, much to his surprise. He rose to his feet and stood beside the chair, tucking his hands behind the small of his back at attention to his superior officer.

"Good evening, Sir."

Spock folded his arms as he watched Sulu's uncomfortable movements. "Lt. Sulu. I presume the rest of the crew are at the memorial service."

"Yes sir, I volunteered to stay at the conn." Sulu replied without moving much.

"Commendable. But unnecessary. You are relieved, Lt." Spock noticed the uncomfortable body language Sulu was showing, it was obvious and logical to him that the lieutenant wanted to be at the memorial service. "Join your crew mates."

None of this made sense to Sulu. Mr. Spock was the captain's best friend, yet he didn't want to pay his respects. However he wasn't going to miss the chance to pay his final respects to Captain Kirk.

"Thank you… Captain."

Sulu swiftly exited the bridge before Spock changed his mind.

* * *

"I'm starting to hate this Chapel. Too much time spent here lately." McCoy huffed, leading the other officers into the room.

"That's one way to see it" Uhura replied, her eyes carried bags under them from her lack of sleep.

"Yeah? What's yours?" Scotty asked, regretting not filling his flask with a strong alcoholic beverage.

"A place of peace." Uhura told them. Her gentle voice filled the room as the other crew members flooded into the Chapel.

"Fall in." Scotty ordered, as the crew all faced a large wooden podium at the front of the room. A large flag with the United Federation of Planets logo printed onto it was pinned to the wall behind it.

McCoy made his way to the podium. His boots clicked onto the wood as he made his way to stand behind it. He placed his hands down and took a deep breath to calm his nerves. Tears built up behind his eyes, but he needed to do this, for Jim… for his friend and for the crew… for closure. He battled them away before making his speech;

"It is with deep sadness… and proud honour that we gather here today to remember James T Kirk.

It would be easier if we knew how he died… or had a body to mourn over. But that's a luxury we do not have. So we grieve with the absence of answers. But we grieve, because we must. Because we are human and this is what humans do. We grieve the loss of a good man, a good friend… and the best damn officer in the fleet."

The echo of his voice filled the ship. Uhura had already set the Chapels comm to play over the whole ship, so those who wanted to attend but couldn't leave their stations, could still be a part of the service.

"Greif is a part of life, but not its master. Today we mourn, tomorrow we move on, that's the way James T Kirk would want it. We will honour his memory by honouring his ship and by serving the captain that leads it now. That's what James T Kirk would have us do. That's how we can remember him best."

McCoy took a deep breath, as his eyes filled with tears again. He stood down from the podium as Uhura replaced him. The crew stood at attention while she sung Amazing Grace. Her beautiful, peaceful voice filled the crew's hearts as memories of Jim filled their minds.

By the time she was finished, there wasn't a dry eye left in the Chapel.

* * *

 _Deep darkness, unsureness and thoughts of anxiety filled Jim's mind._

 _"_ _Where am I?" he asked himself. "Who am I?"_

 _He could feel his weak body being dragged, his feet feeling every bump and every stone of the sandy surface._

 _Thoughts of Jim's torcher flashed through his mind as his body tensed. Pain, more pain and … a machine. "Why can't I remember who I am?!"_

 _The heat from the planet's sun beat down onto his body, his shirt had been thrown back on him, but provided very little protection from the harmful heat waves._

 _"_ _He's awake, Commander Korr, Sir." A powerful voice of the man dragging him along the floor entered his ears._

 _"_ _Good. We are here. Thanks to my mind sifter. Remove his blindfold!" Korr commanded his men._

 _The bag covering Jim's head was removed, the brightness was too much for his eyes to bare at first as he squinted._

 _"_ _Let him go, if he tries to escape, I know how to get him to return." Korr ordered._

 _Jim collapsed to his knees, his body was left completely useless and drained of strength. The gentle breeze on the planet's surface brushed against his head, reminding him of the two painful burns he was left with from his cruel punishment._

 _There were two other Klingons with Korr and one who stood above him. Usually Jim would have the strength to fight them off one by one but right now he didn't have the power to do so._

 _Korr paced in front of the Gateway as his men scanned it, using what only Jim could assume was a tricorder. He looked at the huge stones shaped in an arch with glory in his eyes._

 _"_ _Commander." Finally one of them spoke. "There are no controls for the device."_

 _"_ _There has to be a way. You know how this thing works, tell me" He stood over Captain Kirk, who remained silent with the exception of him panting attempting to catch his breath. Korr grew angry at his stubbornness. He bent down and moved closer to Jim's pained face._

 _"_ _You can tell me now, or you can tell my mind sifter."_

 _"_ _No! No! Please, it won't help you… it won't!" Panic swept over Jim's whole body._

 _"_ _Your federation would use this time weapon to destroy the Klingon Empire? … and you dare to beg me for mercy?" Korr laughed, finding it amusing how the famous Captain Kirk was reduced to begging him._

 _"_ _If we wanted to, we already would have. We don't want to fight you Korr!" Jim spat, looking at the floor. He was building his strength ready to strike at the right time._

 _"_ _That is why you would lose" Korr said as he circled around Jim's weakened body._

 _"_ _Imagine, if just for a moment, there was another way. A way for both sides to win" Jim knew it was a long shot to try and persuade the Klingons but if he allowed his body to rest a little while longer he could gather up the strength to escape… he hoped._

 _"_ _Insanity! Peace is for cowards." Korr continued to pace as he let out an echoing laugh._

 _"_ _No! Sometimes it takes more courage not to fight." Jim wasn't willing to give up so easy._

 _"_ _I will defeat you. And then… we will see who falls from the pages of history" Korr said as he stopped infront of Jim and grabbed a fistful of his golden hair._

 _"_ _Go to hell" Jim spat through gritted teeth._

 _"_ _I can send you there with just one word… captain." Korr made sure to whisper the rank into Jim's ear._

 _The pain pushed its way into Jim's skull, the intense burning and pressure was enough for him to scream out in pain. Darkness blinded his sight but Jim remained fully conscious, having to experience all the pain for himself._

 _"_ _There… you see the horror of my mind sifter. I speak your rank and you suffer. Now imagine what will happen if I said your entire name." Korr watched as Jim squirmed on the sandy floor._

 _"_ _Guardian, do you hear me?" Jim managed to speak, feeling he had no choice but adhere to Korr's commands._

 _'_ _I hear all.'_

 _A deep voice echoed onto the empty planet surface, taking the other Klingons by surprised as they stepped away from the portal._

 _"_ _That's it? You just speak to it? Korr was also surprised at how easy it was to get the portal to work._

 _"_ _Sir. It appears to just be responding to him." The Klingon with the tricorder said, showing him the readings._

 _Korr let out an evil laugh. "Your species is weak as you lack the courage to commit genocide." Korr's voice grew impatient. "Now give me access to Earths past." He ordered Jim._

 _"_ _Guardian, show me Earths past."_

 _'_ _Behold.'_

 _The deep voice echoed, as the portal lit up. Pictures from the start of Earth's history flashed infront of them, years moved past them at a wink of an eye._

 _"_ _Incredible. Are you recording?" Korr said, without taking his eyes off the portal._

 _"_ _Yes sir, but years pass rapidly, we would need more time to analyse." The Klingon with the tricorder said, watching his data flooding in._

 _"_ _Time? It's a time portal! We have all the time we need." Korr laughed, enjoying his victorious moment._

 _"_ _It doesn't matter. I have had enough of you Captain… James… T… Kirk."_

 _The two Klingon men grabbed hold of Jim, pointing weapons at him ready to destroy him. Jim fought his way through the pain as memories of those he loved most flashed into his mind. The thought of them being gone forever gave him the strength to battle on. He pushed his way out of their arms and turned to run, but it was too late. The force of which he released himself caused him to lose his balance and fall straight into the Gateway portal._

 _He was gone._

* * *

 _ **Authors Second Note:**_

 _For anyone who is unsure of Gateway, we were first introduced to it in The Original Series._  
 _Its basically a time portal which can take you to any point in time. Like a time machine, but made out of rocks on a planet called Gateway._


	9. Chapter 9

_**Authors Note:  
**_ _A big update from me! I was going to split this into two chapters but I dieicided it would be worth the wait for you to have it all at once. We are now focusing back on Jim during his current day, after all we know how Jim got into this mess but he doesn't! I hope it makes sense to you all and you enjoy it._

 _THANK YOU - to everyone that's reviewed this so far. I've adored reading what you all think and it was with those positive vibes that I had the motivation for this bigger update. I wrote 90% of it last night and just finished it off today! Thank you again. It really does mean the world to me._

 _Enjoy!_

* * *

 **Chapter Nine**

Jim stared out the small window in his hospital room, he could go for days just looking up at the sky. He felt as if he belonged up there, in the clouds, but how that was possible was beyond his knowledge. A few weeks had passed by and although only a handful of fights with the porters had broken out, he was feeling more positive about his future. Small parts of his memory were seeping back into his mind with time, although he still couldn't remember why he was here, nor how he got here but the familiar voices that echoed into his mind every now and again were now a comfort to him. Jim knew someone, somewhere was trying to reach out to him… but he just didn't know who it was right now. Penny had assured him many times his memory would return at some point and as soon as he knew where he came from, he could return back to it. But everything felt wrong about this place, he just didn't fit in here.

He heard the usual tones of high heels clapping on the hard floor, recognising who they belonged to was easy. He turned to face the door to be greeted by Doctor Harrison's smiling face. Everything about her made Jim's heart race that little bit more. He gave a huge smile the second his eyes clapped onto hers.

"You look like you are feeling better today?" Penny smiled back at him.

"It's James… Jim." He said, holding a hand out to shake her hand.

Penny kept her smile up, but couldn't help but notice how strange it was that he was just introducing himself to her now, after all she had been calling him Jimmy for weeks. "Oh… I see." She politely shook his hand back. "Jim… I like that better… from now on I'll call you Jim." She felt herself getting distracted in the beauty of his blue eyes as the seconds felt like minutes that passed. "How do you feel?

"Better. I just wish I could remember" Jim stepped away from the window, watching Penny's uncomfortable movements as she started to remake his hospital bed.

"Why am I locked in this room?" He asked her.

"You've had some… issues" Penny really didn't want to tell him, after all he should remember… but she was glad he couldn't. The last thing he needed was to have a set back on his recovery.

"Did I hurt anyone?" Jim asked, searching his most recent memories for anything, although it remained blank.

Doctor Harrison looked away from Jim, not wanting to tell him the truth. "Would you like some water?" she asked, quickly wanting the change the subject.

"No, please, Penny, tell me, did I hurt anyone?" Jim asked again, looking down at his bruised knuckles.

She saw the look of worry as he held his fist close to him. She quickly grabbed both hands and looked deeply into his hurting eyes. "I wouldn't be here if I thought you were dangerous"

But Jim didn't have the words to reply to her and he slid both his hands out of hers and returned back to the window.

"Do you want to go outside?" Penny asked, assuming that's why he was always looking out the window.

"Outside?" Jim questioned, assuming he was some sort of prisoner and being outside wasn't allowed.

"Outside, yes, walk under the trees, feel the sun on your face. I think it will do you good. Just promise me you won't run away." She could see Jim's whole face beginning to light up for the first time in a long time.

"I promise." Jim said, smiling at her.

Penny walked over to a small cupboard and pulled out a yellow roll neck for him to wear. "Here, put on this sweater."

Jim looked at the yellow, instantly his head was full of the familiar voices he had become accustom to. Something about the jumper called out to his mind.

"Is something wrong?" Penny asked, looking at his confused face and noticing how he refused to touch the jumper.

"No, no… it's just… for a moment…." Jim shook his head as the voices faded away. "It's not important. Let's go outside."

* * *

The hospitals garden grounds were huge, surrounded by emptiness. It was extremely peaceful and just what Jim had craved. He looked up at the clear blue sky and took a deep breath of fresh air in as he walked bare footed onto the soft green grass.

"It's a nice day. How long have I been here?" he asked Penny, who walked beside him.

"Almost 5 weeks now" she told him, looking towards the trees that surrounded him.

Jim took a deep breath as new feelings and thoughts entered his mind. "I have to get back"

"Get back where?" Penny asked, looking over at a suddenly overly confident Jim.

"I don't know, I can't remember, but I have to get back… it's… its important" Jim replied. He knew had to be somewhere, but he just didn't know where. 5 weeks was a long time to be away from wherever it was he was supposed to be.

"It's going to take time, Jim." She stopped walking as the disappointment swept over Jim's face.

"I have all the time in the world…" Jim said, but his smile soon dropped. He looked up into the sky as if something should be there "no that's not right… I have to get back."

"Jim… your outside. Enjoy the sun, the air, and the trees and the grass." Penny said, her hand gesturing around the hospital grounds.

"Yes, trees, grass. It's one of my favourite things about shore leave." Jim said, bending down to touch the grass with his hands. "It almost feels real."

"Shore leave? You were on a ship?" Penny asked, picking up on the new information he was giving him, while ignoring the fact that he thinks the grass is fake.

"You know this planet reminds me of Omicron VII. Such a beautiful world. It's a shame we can't go back." Jim said, his mind slowly filling with memories as he began to share his world with Doctor Harrison.

"Yes it's too bad… it's a beautiful… planet…" Penny was more confused than ever, but was determined to keep the conversation flowing. Attempting to smile as Jim continued to remember.

"Not now, herbal rays would… no." Jim stood up to his feet and faced Penny. "You couldn't… why would you say that?" Jim grabbed hold of her wrists tightly, anger started to fill his body as he squeezed her tightly.

"Let go of me please, Jim" Penny said calmly, while attempting to escape his tight grip.

"You couldn't… no…" Jim said through gritted teeth. The memories continued to flow in to his mind rapidly and he had no control of his emotions.

"Jim, please, your hurting me. Let go of me now." She started to panic as Jim's grip was made tighter.

"I'm sorry, Penny. I didn't mean to hurt you" He said, looking into her pained eyes. He quickly retracted his hands away.

"It's ok, Jim" She said, rubbing her wrists and stepping back from him.

"No let me help you… I'll call Sickbay."

Jim reached around to his back, but there was nothing there.

"It's gone… My communicator is gone"

Jim collapsed to his knees, frantically searching in the grass for his much needed communicator. His breathing picked up as he started to panic.

"Jim, calm down. You didn't have any… communicator." Penny copied his words, hoping it would keep him calm but wasn't successful.

"But... I had…" Jim continued to frantically search in the grass.

"And I don't need to go to a Sickbay" Penny said, wrapping her soothing arms around him to calm him down before he had a panic attack.

Suddenly the memories faded. Jims mind was left blank once more.

"It was there. I almost remembered it all and… is that why I'm in that room? Did I hurt you before?" Jim asked, fighting back his emotions.

"You have never hurt me…" Penny took a deep breath, she didn't want to tell him what had happened but if it meant he could remember again, she would have to bite the bullet and tell him. "But you have fought… You struggled with the porters."

"Did I hurt them?" Jim questioned, looking back at his bruised knuckles.

"Not too much…" Penny told him, deciding now wasn't the best time to tell him that he had hospitalised two of them. "We should go inside."

* * *

Penny stepped into Doctor McKenna's large office. He was already reading his file at his desk. As Jim was causing problems with the other patients and staff he was desperately seeking ways to get him out of his hospital, but as Doctor Harrison was treating him there was little he could do until Jim slipped up and hurt her. He had requested weekly meetings with her to discuss his treatment plan.

"I know what you're thinking." Penny said, taking a seat opposite him. "He's not delusional. I know it seems that way, but there's something real there."

"Well that's your opinion." He said without looking up from the file he held in his hands. "This file…" he laughed. "He's not rational and he's had violent episodes!"

Penny held her nerve, she knew how much he didn't want Jim here. "He's not had any treatment in over a week. He hasn't needed it. Despite what you call his 'delusional episodes', he is appropriate, he knows where he is, he knows why. He cares about not hurting people. He knows why he's here." She defended Jim. Although half the time he didn't remember much about where he was or why, if she didn't lie about his progress then Doctor McKenna would take treatment into his own hands and that wasn't something she wanted for Jim or herself.

"The thing about these psychopaths… they are cunning. They know how to control people." Doctor McKenna started.

"I have a degree too, Doctor McKenna." Penny interrupted, reminding him that she was just as qualified as him, just without the years of experience.

"There's something else. I've looked into this Jim fellow…there are no military files. There are no finger print files and there are no missing person's reports anywhere." Doctor McKenna started. He had looked for any trace of the man's existence with no luck.

"He was found wondering around by police officers outside of town. He's got to have local roots somehow, he didn't just fall from the sky. What if we run his picture in the paper? Maybe he was missing for months and his family think he's dead." Penny pleaded with her superior doctor.

"It could get him off our hands… it could get him out of here. Alright. Try it. But I think you're getting too involved. I say this for your own good, you can't afford to show too much compassion. It won't help you do your job."

Penny bit her tongue, ignoring half of what he had said to her. She knew what was best for her patient. Not him. She nodded and left to make the preparations for the journalist to arrive. Jim would need to mentally prepare himself for the visit.

* * *

The next day soon arrived and Penny couldn't help but feel nervous as she walked down to Jim's isolation room. She gripped the clothing Jim was brought in with tightly in her hands, the unfamiliar, what she could only assume was, some sort of uniform, was torn still but she had managed to wash the dirt and dried blood off it.

She slowly unlocked the door to see Jim standing at the window again, staring out at the sky. He looked better than ever and thought how just being outside made a difference to his physical appearance. The bruising and cuts he was left with from his fights were completely healed and all he was left with were two nasty red circular scars either side of his head. She had no idea how he got them, but there was little that she could do for him, at least he wasn't in pain with them.

Jim turned to greet her as her heard the metal door swing open, his eyes met with her and he couldn't help but be pleased to see her. "Good morning." He said, greeting her.

"Good Morning, Jim." She replied, placing the folded uniform onto the end of his unmade bed.

Jim looked down at the clothing, the voices returned to in his head but he ignored them. "Is this mine?" He asked, he knew they were, as they felt so familiar to him, but he wanted to make sure.

"It's what you were wearing when you first came here." Penny said, watching Jim reach out to stroke the golden shirt.

He quickly whipped off his plain white t shirt that he was forced to wear while in the hospital and slide the yellow shirt on, the familiar voices grew louder in his mind. "There's something… about it." He said but the voices started to fade when he looked back up to his doctor, who was unable to take her eyes off of him.

"Oh Jim… I'm a doctor. I've seen it all before." She blushed, as she noticed how he had stopped changing. Jim felt his cheeks begin to glow red as Doctor Harrison slowly turned around, facing the door so Jim was out of her sight.

"Remember what I told you? We are going to Doctor McKenna's Office. There will be a photographer to take your picture. They will put your picture in the paper and maybe someone will recognise you. That will help your people find you." She began to explain, as she felt a lump in her throat forming.

"OK. I'm ready." Jim said, straightening his torn uniform up the best he could.

"Here, let me fix your hair." Penny said, with tears now in her eyes. The thought of losing the man who had squirmed his way into her heart so easily upset her effortlessly. "We want you to look your best."

She moved closer to him, but Jim stopped her hand as she went to brush his floppy hair. He moved in closer, feeling a connection with her, he felt like… he had to touch her in a new way.

"No… No Jim. We can't… I can't. Let's get you to the office." It took all of her self-control to pull away as new feelings grew between them. She sigh, stepping back from Jim. "C'mon, Doctor McKenna is waiting for us."

* * *

"In here Jim… its ok." Penny said, leading Jim into the new surroundings.

Jim reluctantly followed her, although she made him feel safe there was something wrong about this room. The voices in his head were silent, so he couldn't work out what was bothering him. He looked around at the book cases surrounding the walls, full with old books mostly covered in dust. There was a journalist and a photographer standing at the large wooden desk with the Doctor Jim didn't trust. They all turned the second he moved into the room, causing him to flinch and curl his fingers into fists defensively.

"Pleased to meet you!" The journalist shouted, speaking clearly so Jim could understand him. He held out a hand for Jim to shake.

"It's Jim… and there's nothing wrong with my hearing." He said, shaking the hand of the stranger.

"Oh sorry... that's it? Just Jim?" The man asked, making notes on everything Jim said. It made Jim feel like he was being interrogated. "Tell me Jim, how long have you been staying here?" he asked.

Jim remained silent, eyeing up the equipment the two new strangers held in their hands, the voices in his head started to whisper…

 _Phasers… set to stun…_

 _Shoot to kill…_

 _Doctor… Mc… Mc… McCoy…_

"5 weeks now." Doctor McKenna spoke up as Jim focused more on the voices and their warnings. Clearly the equipment the other man held was some sort of weapon.

"Tell me Jim, is there anything else you remember?" The journalist wasn't giving up with the questions.

"No." Jim replied bluntly, not wanting to give anything about himself away to these intruders.

"Alright, how about we just take your picture and call it a day." The journalist gestured Jim over to the white screen they had set up in the corner of the office. Jim reluctantly moved over, grabbing Penny's hand to get her to come with him. She followed him, to reassure him but stepped back from the screen when she noticed Doctor McKenna's disapproving look.

The large bright white flash blinded Jim temporarily, causing him to blink a few times quickly to clear his sight. He quickly raised his fists up to protect himself but there was no need.

"That'll do doctor, we will run it in tomorrow's paper." The Journalist said, as he shook the Doctors hand.

"Doctor?" Jim asked, the word sounding familiar from the voices in his mind.

"Yes Jim. I am Doctor Leo McKenna. I am the chief medical officer of this institution" McKenna said, holding a hand out for Jim to shake politely.

"Doctor Leo… Leonard? Bones? … No… you're not Bones!" Jim didn't shake his hand, but felt his fingers curling into his fists again.

"Is that a name?" McKenna asked, looking more confused at Jim's unpredictable behaviour.

"McCoy. My doctor's name is McCoy. Doctor Leonard McCoy! He's my chief medical officer!" Jim's voice raised, causing the journalist and the photographer to look towards them.

Penny saw his memory quickly returning as Jim soon became unsettled. "And you are?!" She quickly rushed to Leo's side to get the answers she craved for so much.

"Captain James T Kirk!" he shouted, before pressure formed in his head, voices raced over and over in his mind as the feeling of two drills either side of his head burnt their way into his skull. He had no choice but to collapse over the Doctors desk, screaming in agony.

The photographer started to take photos of the drama, as Penny and Leo raced to his side. Jim had no choice but to push them away, he couldn't be touched without the pain becoming worse. He screamed and yelled more, accidently slapping Penny around the face as his body flapped around uncontrollably.

"Get two porters up here now! And don't print that!" Leo shouted out the door as he moved away from Jim.

"Are you kidding me doc? That's front page!" The Journalist wrote everything he saw down, and the photographer continued to snap photos as the two porters dragged Jim out the office.

"You are taking him to his room… right?" Penny said, as she watched Jim being forcefully dragged away.

"Hmmm… of course…" The sly porter said, having dealt with Jim before.


	10. Chapter 10

_**Authors**_ _ **Note**_ _ **:**_

 _Just a small update, I promise this will all start making sense soon. Enjoy this - I cant promise when my next update will be as I am moving house on the 21st May so I have a busy few weeks ahead of me! But when I get a spare few minutes I dare say I'll continue to write. I hope you enjoy it and I promise - things will start to make more sense soon!_

* * *

 **Chapter Ten**

 _Spock… help me…_

 _Mind…_

 _Help… Me…._

 _GATEWAY._

 _Spock… rescue…_

 _Hospital…_

 _HELP._

Spocks eyes burst open as he moved his hand away from his head to stop his own mind meld. Jim's mind was still reaching out to his own and finally he had found a lead to search on. If the Klingons had taken Jim to Gateway then they were not searching for him in the right place.

Spock picked up one of the many cartridges on his desk and flicked one of them into his computer. He turned it on and watched as clippings from Earth's newspapers flicked up onto the screen quickly before being interrupted by a buzz at his door.

"Come." He spoke, without looking away from his computer, scanning the photographs one by one at great speed.

"You wanted to see me, Captain." McCoy said, stepping into the Captain's office. Everything about it felt wrong but the past few weeks seemed to have just blurred into the one day. He was still mourning his friend but this feeling was something he was going to have to get used to.

"Yes, Doctor. Thank you for coming. Please, have a seat." Spock said, finally looking away from his screen. "May I offer you a beverage?" he asked, gesturing at the bottle of Vulcan drink on his desk.

"A Vulcan beverage? No thanks" McCoy said, he had heard far too many horror stories from Scotty involving Vulcan drinks.

"I wanted to thank you for what you said at the memorial service." Spock started, he had listened to what the doctor had said while on the bridge.

"Spock… I… I owe you an apology." The words left a bitter taste in McCoy's mouth, he hated to be wrong. "It was wrong the way I treated you. I'm supposed to be the captain doctor too. You were closer to Jim than anyone. You have to be feeling it worse than anyone. I can be a good listener… for your human half."

"But can you listen in Vulcan too?" Spock asked.

"You know I can't." McCoy said, wondering why he had asked the question in the first place.

"Let me help you." Spock requested, raising his hand in the air to convince the doctor to mind meld with him.

"Uh, I don't think so. Thanks but… I need to keep a human perspective." McCoy thought before answering of a valid reason to keep Spock out of his head.

"Of course" Spock lowered his hand. He didn't expect the doctor to accept his offer anyway.

"I'm going to regret this later." McCoy said as he poured himself a drink for the Vulcan liquid in front of him. "Different than I expected." He whispered after swallowing the strong drink. It was practically tasteless, but left a nasty burning aftertaste down his throat.

"Doctor, we've known each other a long time. We have argued a great deal. This time, I need you to trust me." Spock said seriously, changing the tone of the conversation without realising.

"Well, I've always trusted you logic. If I have disagreed with your choices it's because sometimes logic isn't enough." McCoy explained.

"There is a logic to emotion as well. You have always been an example of that." Spock continued.

"I assume that's a compliment." McCoy smirked, not being sure if it was compliment or not.

"What I am saying is that; I understand, deeply, how your sense of compassion compels you." Silence swept over the room apart from the computers occasional beeping. "I am considering a course of action that will require us to have complete trust in each other. To be blunt, Doctor. I will need you. We will need each other.

"I do trust you, Spock. Because I know you. And I know you wouldn't ask… unless it was important." "And because… well… I'm actually starting to like you."

Spock raised both eyebrows, McCoy would say it was because he was more shocked than anything else.

"Just wanted to see the look on your face." McCoy held back his chuckle. "Now let me ask you, if you were to express a moment of honest affection… what you would say?"

"Vulcan's do not indulge in affection. But, I would say, I respect you." Spock said, keeping his Vulcan stance.

"I respect you, captain." McCoy said back, finally accepting that this was how things were going to be from now on.

 _Working... Computer search complete. Search found._

The computers voice filled the room to break the awkward silence that fell between them. Spocks eyes hit the screen immediately, he almost had trouble believing that his search had worked, but there infront of him was a newspaper clipping from 1958 containing a photograph of what looked like a man being held down on a desk. Spock squinted his eyes a little and from what he could work out… it was… it had to be…

"Something wrong?" McCoy asked not being able to see the screen Spock was staring at, he could have sworn that the Vulcan had turned a little more pale than usual.

"Doctor, Come with me." Spock rose to his feet and almost ran out of the room towards the bridge.

* * *

"Lieutenant Sulu, Lock down the bridge. What I am about to do is a direct violation of Starfleet orders, I cannot give the reason why as of yet, anyone who objects may leave the bridge now. It will not be held against you." Spock ordered as he stepped out of the turbo lift with McCoy following him.

The bridge crew all looked around at each other, not quite understanding what was going on, but they all stayed at their stations. After all they had stranger orders from Captain Kirk and had all come out ok.

Finally Ensign Zou broke the silence. "If I may, Captain. I believe there is an old earths saying. We will all hang together, or surely we will all hang separately." Zou had attended the Starfleet academy with Kirk and had learnt many things about Earth from him. There was no chance that he would leave the bridge, for Kirk's memory.

"Very well. Ensign, plot a course… to Gateway." Spock ordered, sitting down in the captains chair.

"Course plotted sir, estimated time of arrival in 7 hours, 13 minutes at present speed." Ensign Zou informed Spock.

"Lt. Uhura, send an encoded message to Starfleet command notify them of our destination but send no replies." Spock continued to order the rest of the bridge.

"Sir…" Uhura started.

"You heard the order Lieutenant" Spock interrupted.

"Sir if you do that, every ship in the area is bound to try and stop us." Sulu turned in his chair to face Spock, he managed to speak up without being interrupted and rapidly asked what they were all thinking.

"Indeed. As with Captain Kirk, I expect you to trust my orders." Spock continued, giving no hints about his plan.

"Aye-Aye Sir." Sulu said, swinging his chair back round to face the front screen.

"Proceed with warp 7." Spock ordered, as the stars zoomed past them with a flash of white light.

It didn't take long before planet Gateway approached on the screen in front of them. In fact, less than the 7 hours originally suggested by Ensign Zou, not that anyone had really noticed. They were all growing weary and as the Bridge was on lock down, they weren't permitted off of it for any reason.

* * *

"Report." Spock asked, the atmosphere on the bridge was tense and everyone could feel it.

"Sir, Starfleet command has ordered that you return to base and surrender this ship. USS Lexington, Livington and Lakota on intercept course." Uhura repeated the order back to him, it didn't take long for Starfleet to receive the message and work out they were no longer going on patrol.

"As expected." Spock said, remaining calm.

"Sir, picking up ground disturbances on the planet surface." Ensign Zou told Spock as he completed a quick scan of the planet surface. He hadn't been to Gateway before, only a handful of the crew had. Nobody knew why they were going there or what to expect.

"That will be the Guardian of forever." Spock informed him. "Those readings are normal for the planet Ensign. Lt. Sulu, bring us to orbit." He continued with more orders.

Sulu nodded, watching the planet Gateway moving closer and closer onto the screen. The tension grew thicker and he could feel every pair of eyes on him as he slowly came into orbit. Finally they hit orbit and nearly everyone let out a gasp when they saw another ship was already here.

"What the devil are they doing here?" McCoy asked, in utter disbelief at the sight of a Klingon ship being here. "Wasn't this place a Starfleet secret?"

"Precisely Doctor." Spock said, rising to his feet.


	11. Chapter 11

_**Authors Note:  
** I am sorry for the later update, my life is crazy at the moment. I move house on Saturday but the new Internet will not be set up until the middle of June, so I wanted to update you all before then so you knew I wasn't MIA!  
I hope this update flows ok and you continue to enjoy it as much as I am writing it. Thank you to all my lovely reviews. I thrive from them!  
_

* * *

 **Chapter Eleven**

"Red alert." Spock ordered his bridge crew. The alarm sounded instantly, echoing through their ears.

"Sir, they have raised their shields but have not charged weapons." Zou started to explain, scanning over the monitors in front of him. "We may have surprised them."

Spock nodded to the young ensign, looking over to where he would usually be stationed if Captain Kirk was aboard. Just like himself, Ensign Zou was a being with many talents.  
"Hail them, Lt. Uhura." He ordered, keeping his Vulcan gaze locked on the Klingon ship in orbit of Gateway.

"Channel open, sir." Uhura replied, having to raise her voice over the sound of the red alert.

"Klingon Vessel, this is the USS Enterprise. Captain Spock in command. You are in federation space and are in violation of treaty. You are ordered to withdraw to Klingon Space immediately." Spock ordered to Klingons professionally.

"No response, Sir." Uhura held her ear piece, listening for any hint of a reply.

"Klingon Vessel, we are waiting your reply." Spock spoke down the open channel.

* * *

The Klingons on the planet surface didn't care for their loss of Kirk. He was just extra baggage now they had all the information they needed. At least if he was lost in time somewhere they didn't have to worry about him commanding the Enterprise again.

"Sir. Incoming transmission." The largest of the Klingon spoke first, handing over his communicator to Korr.

"What is it?" Korr spat down the communicator.

 _"_ _Forgive me commander, sir. We are being hailed by Captain Spock of the USS Enterprise. They have ordered us to leave, or face the consequences of breaking the treaty."_

"Very well. Bring us up. Ready all weapons and cloaking device… it's not like we can't come back now!" Korr smirked as he and the others took stance as they were beamed back.

* * *

"Sir, they are locking disrupters and arming torpedoes." Zou watched his monitors closely, he knew how unpredictable the Klingons were.

"Hold position. Lock an attack pattern using gamma three, execute on my command. Ready evasive maneuverers Lt. Sulu. Mr Scott, all power to forward shields." Spock ordered his bridge crew, while keeping an open comm to Mr Scott who was still in engineering.

"They're attacking!" Zou shouted, alerting them all.

"Now Sulu." Spock ordered, as his chair harness clipped over his body, securing him to the chair.

Nobody on the bridge understood what Spock had planned, but they trusted him. McCoy grabbed the nearest empty chair he could find and allowed the harness to be pressed tightly against his body before Sulu had a chance to move the ship.

Sulu moved the ship as Spock had ordered, steering it round in a full circle as Zou fired their weapons. He dodged every torpedo with ease as they were tipped upside down. Although he still couldn't work out why they weren't firing their own torpedo's back… until he saw other phasers being shot at the Klingon vessel from either side of the front screen. Sulu couldn't wipe the smile off his face, nor could he have felt more relived at the perfectly timed back up which had arrived.

"They've gone into warp, headed for Klingon Space, Sir." Zou cheered over the red alert.

"Klingon's are no fools." Spock said, as he unlocked himself from his chair and rose to his feet. "Strategy. It is always about strategy. They know our thinking and we know theirs. It is time for us to find another way… a way that makes us stop fighting each other."

"Captain…" Lt. Uhura interrupted. "Before going into warp the Klingons sent a very strange message. It reads… 'you'll never find him.' … find who?"

An awkward silence fell between the crew on the bridge as they exchanged looks with each other. Spock continued to look serious, not wanting to answer her question. McCoy folded his arms, now he knew Spock was up to something.

Uhura broke the tension quickly. "Sir, the Lexington is hailing us."

"On Screen." Spock ordered, lowering himself slowly back into his captain's chair.

Admiral Archer appeared on screen, signing an electronic clipboard. "Very interesting, Captain Spock. You planned this quite well." He said, smiling at the captain.

"It was the logical thing to do" Spock relied, keeping his professional posture.

"However, you disobeyed direct orders. I have no choice but to take you into custody. We will be alongside in 60 minutes…" Admiral Archers smile soon dropped as a small silence fell between the ships. "Will that be enough time?"

"Yes admiral." Spock said, rising to his feet.

"Lexington out." Archer winked at Spock, he hadn't taken him long to work out Spock's plan.

"Time enough for what?" McCoy asked as he walked over to the captain's chair more confused than ever.

"Transporter room: prepare to beam down landing party to planet surface." Spock flicked the comm closed, "Doctor, do you wish to accompany me?" he asked, looking at McCoy.

"Try and stop me." McCoy answered, more intrigued than ever to work out what Spock was on about.

"I will assume your response to be a near affirmative. Mr Sulu. You have the con." Spock ordered, as the pair left the bridge.

* * *

McCoy followed close to Spock as he led them to one of the ships way mission wardrobes. Two outfits were already set out for them. McCoy became even more confused when he saw them.

"What is going on Spock?" he asked, looking at the old plain white shirt, lab coat and tie laid out before him.

"We are going to retrieve the captain, Doctor. But I need you to wear these clothes for us to do so." Spock explained, as he got himself dressed into plain clothing too.

"Care to run me by that again?" McCoy couldn't believe his ears, maybe Spock had finally lost it.

"We are going to enter the Gateway and retrieve the captain, Doctor." Spock really didn't understand why he had to keep explaining himself, Vulcans do not lie. "From what I understand, Jim was kidnapped by the Klingons, taken hostage and now remains stuck in Earth's history."

McCoy felt the hairs on the back of his neck rise. He quickly got changed out of his uniform and grabbed a large brown bag to put his medical supplies into. He almost ran to the transporter room with Spock.

"So he went through the guardian? Ok… well there's just one thing, Spock. James T Kirk wouldn't have given up the location to this world. How do you know Jim is even out there?" McCoy had no reason not to trust the Vulcan, but something about this just didn't sit right with him.

"The Klingon's would have used mind sifter technology." Spock explained.

McCoy stared blankly at Spock for a minute as he registered what Spock was saying to him. "How could you possibly know that?!" He had only ever heard of that technology and had no experience of dealing with it… or how to treat it.

"A psychic link, Doctor. The result of many mind melds over the years. Jim has been calling out to me since the day he vanished. I needed time to work through the mental images." Spock continued to explain.

"The computer searches!" McCoy thought back to every time he had seen Spock over the past few months. He was usually at a computer with all sorts of cartridges over his desk. However it had never occurred to him that Spock was still looking for Jim.

"Until now I did not know where … or when the captain was." Spock said, as they walked through the transporter doors.

"When, captain?" Scotty was already at the transporter, awaiting their arrival. He had no idea what they were talking about and just expressed a confused look to McCoy, who was still trying to process everything himself.

"The computer search found a newspaper article from 1958. Jim was found by the authorities and taken to an asylum." Spock concluded.

"If you knew he was alive, why didn't you tell anyone?" McCoy asked, trying to work out why Spock would allow everyone to think their captain… their friend… was dead.

"Would you have believed me, doctor? Would the admiral?" Spock questioned.

"Spock…knowing what you knew… hearing Jim calling out to you in your mind for all this time… how do you cope with that?" McCoy realised how much pain that must have caused Spock, yet nobody knew. Spock had dealt with it on his own.

Silence fell between them as they stepped onto the transporter pad. Spock didn't want to admit how much pain he felt, as the doctor wouldn't understand. He quickly pulled a black hat down over his ears to complete his civilian outfit.

Realising he wasn't getting an answer, McCoy broke the tension. "So instead you disobeyed orders… tricked 3 federation ships into following us… to intimidate the Klingons that you assumed would be here."

"That was the logic of the situation, Doctor." Spock said.

"Vulcan logic." McCoy tutted, rolling his eyes.

"Transporter ready, captain." Scotty said. "I should be beaming you right by the Gateway, sir."

"The where abouts of the Doctor and I is to remain strictly confidential until such time as I say, Mr Scott. Energise." Spock ordered.

* * *

Doctor Penny Harrison almost ran out of her bosses' office to Jim's room. The bad gut feeling she had was tearing her up inside. If it wasn't for the debriefing she was forced to sit through earlier she would have been their much sooner.

She finally reached Jim's room and swung the door open. Jim was facing away from the door but not looking up at the sky like he was normally. Instead he was bent over, slouched and rocking himself. She could hear his gentle sobbing, her gut feeling was right.

"Oh Jim! What have they done to you?" She felt her eyes fill with water, as she looked at his battered face, covered in cuts, dried blood and bruises. One side of his mouth was already completely swollen and a black eye already forming. Penny instantly grabbed the man, pulling him close to her as she held the man tightly. "Oh this is so wrong."

"I… I… almost had it." Jim cradled himself tightly, everything hurt again. Hot blood dripped down his face as he had no choice but to dribble the excess spit in his mouth.

"Jim!" Bones ran into the room out of nowhere, it was lucky that Penny had forgotten to close the door, he dropped to his knees and looked at him "My god, Jim… it's me… Bones."

"Doctor… Bones?" Penny asked, looking at the new face in front of them.

"Bones…" Jim managed to whisper, the name sounded so familiar to him.

"Doctor… Harrison is it? Let me …" McCoy went to move Jim, but she stopped him.

She pulled Jim closer into her protective arms. "He's my patient."

"He's mine too…. Thank you for… taking care of him." McCoy struggled to seem grateful, looking at the mess Jim was in. He pulled out the smaller part of his tricorder and waved it over Jim.

"Do you know what's wrong with him?" She asked, taking no notice of his strange equipment.

"I do… and a cure hasn't been invented yet… not here anyway" He said, pulling a hypo out and clicking in a small vial.

"What is that? What did you just do?" She asked as McCoy swiftly injected something into Jim's arm, causing him to flinch.

"A shot of B12. You care about him?" McCoy asked, quickly changing the subject, she really didn't need to know that there was a small amount of painkiller and some Tri-ox in there too.

"As a patient, yes." She said, trying not to get flustered.

"That'll be a first." McCoy said under his breath.

"Doctor Bones!" Penny shouted, she was getting fed up of everyone judging her relationship with her patient and her patience was growing thin.

"McCoy." He corrected her, although she took no notice.

"I am so sick of arrogant men. Assuming women are weaklings, unable to keep a professional relationship. He is my patient. Nothing more!" She said, gripping onto Jim tighter.

McCoy noticed how protective over Jim she was becoming and knew he had to gain her trust first, if he was ever going to get her to let go of him. "I'm sorry! I wasn't talking about you… I was talking about him." He smirked. "But you're right. Someday it'll be better."

"Jim… listen to my voice…" McCoy turned his attention back to Jim.

Jim stared forward, listening to the familiar voice.

"Look at me." He took hold of Jim's face, placing a hand on each of his cheeks to force eye contact.

"Bones… is it really you?" Jim finally recognised the face staring at him, but remembering made his head hurt more.

"I'm here to take you home." McCoy said. Allowing Jim to flop forwards out of Penny's clutches onto his white lab coat.

"Where? … Please… tell me." Penny started to panic, realising she was losing him.

"I thought I made that clear… his home." McCoy was getting edgy. He needed to get Jim home, and in sickbay.

"Please tell me, I have to know." Penny continued to plead with him.

"You wouldn't believe me!" McCoy shouted, losing his patience as he felt Jim's weight fall onto him more. "Jim… open your eyes…it's time to go."

Sleep felt far too good for Jim to miss out on, but something inside him made his feet work. Bones had already wrapped an arm around him and lifted him up off the creaky bed anyway. His vision blurred as they made their way around the corridors of the hospital, luckily Penny had noticed how uneasy he was on his feet and had wrapped his other arm around her. Jim had no idea where he was when he saw a tall figure in front of him.

The figure moved closer, allowing his vision to become clear again, the fuzziness disappearing.

"Jim…" Spock said, seeing how distressed the man was. He noticed a sudden tightness in his body language. Clearly the captain did not remember him.

Spock continued to move closer, Jim fidgeted uncomfortably.

"It's ok, he's going to help you remember." McCoy whispered into his ear.

Although Jim didn't have many memories of McCoy, there was something about him that made him feel safe… just like he had with Penny.

Spock placed his 3 fingers on Jim's battered face and suddenly the pain in his head lifted slightly. His vision cleared completely as memories and parts of his identity came into light…

"Spock…" Jim whispered, having no control over the volume of his voice in his weakened state.

"So he was telling the truth..." Penny said, moving Jim's arm off of her body.

"Yes." Spock said, lowering his hand away from Jim, who attempted to smile.

"All that talk about stars and planets…" Penny had no idea what to think as suddenly a whole new world was opened before her.

"Yes, he was telling the truth." Spock reassured her.

"Then take me with you. I want to go where my skills of a doctor will be respected." Penny gulped, not thinking about what she had just proposed.

"I'm sorry doctor. It will disrupt the time stream." Spock explained, in a gentle manner.

"Doctor, you have to stay here and make a difference in your own time. Otherwise… it won't get better." McCoy said, noticing how much heavier Jim had become again.

Jim's head was hanging down by his feet, which McCoy knew wasn't good for someone with a head injury. He shook Jim awake a bit before noticing a chair in the corner of the corridor. He helped him into the chair as Jim slumped against the wall, his eyes staying shut.

"What if I told you that he needs me… he depends on me… what if I told you I loved him?" Penny continued to speak to Spock, not noticing Jim's new symptoms as she tried to persuade the Vulcan.

"Love is irrelevant, Doctor." Spock continued.

"I don't want his love… I just want to be respected and make a difference." Penny said, protecting her profession.

"You just saved the finest captain in Starfleet, you can be proud of that." McCoy interrupted as he scanned Jim again, noticing the sudden change in his blood pressure. McCoy swiftly hypoed Jim with more tri-ox to bring him back around. Moving the damn kid awake would be a lot easier than moving him knocked out.

"Doctor, Harrison. Jim was kidnapped. He was brutally tortured. They have taken his memories, his identity. If they have repeated past practice they have imprinted his mind to cause severe agony at the mere mention of his name. We have the technology to undo this… he will be ok. But you, will be very alone in a very strange place…. A very different place. Doctor McCoy is right, your place is here. I believe you presence here in this time, is critical to receive the respect all of your gender deserve." Spock said, watching as tears started to fill the woman's eyes in front of him.

"Thank you… I understand." She said, attempting to hold herself together. She quickly wiped her eyes and moved over to Jim. She brushed his hair out of his face as she crouched down to his head height. "Jim. You're going to be safe now… it's time for you to go home." She explained, fighting back more tears.

"Going home?" Jim whispered, his mouth throbbing with pain.

"Yes… Doctor Bones and Mr Spock are taking you home." She attempted to smile, knowing how much safer Jim was away from this hospital.

"C'mon Jim. We gotta go." McCoy said, wrapping Jim's arm around him again and lifting him to his feet. He knew he only had limited time before the tri-ox would run out and Jim would be out again.

"I suppose this is where you swear me to silence? Ask me to forget… everything. All the hope I had for the future?" Penny asked Spock, as she watched McCoy and Jim move towards the hospital fire escape.

"I would not ask that. But, if you permit me… I can ease your pain." Spock said, raising his hand up.

The pain of her breaking heart hurt her chest, she knew how much easier her job would be if she could forget Jim, but did she really want to lose him completely…

Reluctantly Penny nodded her head.

Spock gently placed his hand onto her face, and whispered "Forget."

Penny's memories of Jim darkened and faded away… he was gone.


	12. Chapter 12

_**Authors Note:  
**_ _My apologises for the longer than expected wait! I've had no Internet due to moving house a lot longer than expected (its been awful. Trust me!)  
So here's chapter 11, I need to get my writing groove back. I'm not 100% comfortable with this chapter so I hope that doesn't reflect in it.  
Updates will hopefully be coming more regularly now! Thank you for your patience._

* * *

 **Chapter Eleven**

The tingling feeling of the transporter was a welcomed feeling in McCoy's tired body. He clung tightly onto Jim as they were beamed aboard the Enterprise. He still couldn't believe that it was actually Jim in his arms in the first place.

His vision cleared to see Scotty at his feet behind the console. "Captain!" he couldn't believe his eyes when he saw the slumped outline of the captain appear on the transporter pad.

"Get me Nurse Chapel and a hover bed now, Scotty!" McCoy ordered, as he started to lower Jim to the floor.

"I trust you have been briefed on the situation, Mr Scott." Spock asked, stepping off the pad.

Scotty had already been briefed by Admiral Archer before he was asked to beam Spock down. He soon understood this was one secret that had to be kept, for the sake of his crew members. After all, from what Scotty understood about mind sifter technology, then the captains treatment was going to be a rough ride, then it'll be a miracle if he keeps his sanity. The last thing he would want is for the crew to mourn the loss of their captain again. "Aye. I've set up a secure comm line between your quarters and McCoy's office. Nobody can hack that."

"Your actions are commendable, Mr Scott." Spock said as he continued out the transporter room towards the costume room. On his way he passed Nurse Chapel, who was racing past pushing the requested hover bed for the captain, luckily most of the crew were at their stations from the previous red alert so the corridors were empty. Spock stopped by the nearest comm and spoke to the whole ship: "This is Captain Spock. Due to a medical emergency the following areas are closed until further notice: The whole of Decks A and C, Sickbay and Conference room 4. Those requiring medical assistance should attend Wreck Room 3, where a smaller medical bay has been set up. Spock out." He knew questions were going to be asked but that was something he was going to have to deal with, especially as acting captain.

"So it's true! What happened to him?" Nurse Chapel asked the second her eyes clapped onto Jim's limp body.

"We don't have time for questions, Nurse. Help me get him onto the bed. I'm assuming you were briefed as much as I was?" McCoy said, whirring his tricorder over Jim for the third time.

Nurse Chapel nodded at McCoy, keeping her lips shut tight as to not annoy the doctor.

"Has sickbay been evacuated?" He asked, grabbing Jim from under his arms.

"Yes Doctor, all patients have been released to their quarters and staff have been sent to the temporary sickbay Spock organised." She informed the Doctor, who was too busy to acknowledge her.

"We need to get him set up in sickbay now, I'm hoping it's a case of it looks worse than it is, but that's normally the way for Jim." He said, placing his tricorder onto the hover bed next to Jim. He clicked a small vial of sedative into his hypo spray and swiftly injected into Jims arm. "We need to treat him before we do anything else. He's nursing one hell of a concussion."

"Yes, Doctor." Nurse Chapel said, looking down at Jim's beaten face. It took a lot of will power not to sweep his hair back off his sticky forehead.

"He's getting a fever. I just hope they didn't give him any outdated medication… who knows what he's allergic to from back then. Scotty, are the corridors clear?" McCoy asked, watching Nurse Chapels grip tighten on the side of the bed.

"Aye, Doctor. The last few are leaving in the turbo lift now." Scotty said, checking his ships scanners.

"Lets go, Christine." McCoy said to his senior nurse.

"Take care of him, Doctor." Scotty whispered as they pushed Jim out of the transporter room. He had never craved a strong scotch more than now.

* * *

Spock stepped onto the bridge with his usual Vulcan stance. He took his place at the captain's chair, for one of the last times. He didn't notice the bridge crew had all stopped their duties to stare at him.

"Lt. Uhura, please hail the Lexington." He ordered, keeping his gaze forwards on the emptiness of space.

"On screen, Sir." Uhura replied, exchanging a confused look with Sulu as she turned in her chair.

Admiral Archer, who was still signing electronic clipboards, appeared up on the screen for bridge crew to see. "I trust you were successful, Captain Spock?" He asked without looking up from his paperwork. Clearly Spock, like Jim, knew just how to cause extra work for the admirals at Starfleet.

"We were, Admiral. Awaiting your orders." Spock said, feeling the tension on the bridge building from the rest of the crew.

"Your orders are simple, we shall accompany you back to Star Base Five for you and your senior crew to give your statements to the admiralty. While there, the Enterprise can receive a full once over to check for repairs. A shipment of supplies will also arrive before you receive your next orders, to restock your medical and food supplies. The rest of your crew are to stay aboard the Enterprise. Any applications of Shore Leave will be denied. I shall see you in 48 hours, Captain. Archer Out."

Before Spock could reply, the screen turned black and the darkness of space was all he could see again.

"No shore leave again? That hardly seems fair." Sulu muttered to Zou.

"I do not see the need for shore leave. After all, there are no entertainment facilities located on Star Base Five. It is purely used as a medical and repairs station." Zou started to explain his reasoning to Sulu before checking his consoles for damage repairs. "Captain, I do not see the need for the ships to go under any repairs, the scanners show no such damage to the ship."

"We shall follow our orders as they were given by the admiral, set a course to Star Base five. Warp One."

"Course laid in, ship ready for warp, Captain." Zou said, tapping away at the console.

"Proceed." He instructed his crew.

The crew followed their orders and soon the white stars zoomed past the front screen. The Lexington followed closely behind them.

"I shall be in my quarters. I am not to be disturbed unless there is an emergency. Do you understand?" Spock ordered his crew stepping up from the Captain's chair. "Lt. Sulu, you have the Conn."

* * *

The haunting emptiness of sickbay sent a shudder down McCoy's spine. Although he did prefer it when the sickbay was empty, it was the lack of staff that was more of a concern. Only he and one senior nurse were permitted to know of Jim's whereabouts. Luckily he had his own say of who the nurse was and there was nobody he trusted more with Jim's health than Nurse Christine Chapel.

"We will set him up in one of the private rooms, I'm not risking anyone seeing Jim like this." He ordered, as he continued to push the hover bed past the empty ward unit.

Nurse Chapel didn't speak, awaiting her orders from the doctor. She helped him move Jim across to a bed and moved the hover bed back out onto the ward. She returned with clean Starfleet basic's for Jim to wear; a plain black short sleeved top with the Starfleet logo on it and a pair of dark grey jogging bottoms. "I figured he would be more comfortable in these." She said, smiling at Doctor McCoy, who refused to look back at her.

McCoy kept his nose down in his notes. Muttering light curse words to himself whenever he took note of Jim's vitals on the monitor above his head.

"What have those Klingons done to his uniform?!" she asked, peering down at Jim's ripped golden shirt, covered in dark blood stains. "I'm surprised it even stayed on."

McCoy looked up from his PADD and placed it down on the table stand next to the bed. "He's in for a rough ride." He said, letting out a sigh.

Nurse Chapel saw the tension building in McCoy's body. "He's been through worse. He can do this." She said, placing a reassuring hand on the doctor's upper arm.

McCoy took in a deep breath and let it fall out his body slowly. "Physically, yeah… there's nothing wrong with him that I can't fix right now. But mentally… who knows how long that's going to take to fix."

"I've only ever read about the mind sifter in medical logs… I've never had to treat anyone whose been affected by it before." She explained, looking over Jim's beaten body. Watching his chest rise and fall with his deep sleeping breaths.

"I have… once. It didn't end well." McCoy said, thinking back to his academy years, he was placed on a placement at Starfleet General, he was going along with his normal ward rounds and the next thing he knew he was paged to assist in an emergency… some poor ensign, he couldn't remember their name, was kidnapped on the boarder of the neutral zone during a patrol mission. He couldn't remember all the exact details, but he could remember the intense therapy sessions that poor ensign had to go through, before anyone could even mention their rank in front of them. Sadly, it didn't end well them and they were eventually admitted into residential care for Starfleet members who were suffering with mental disabilities.

Nurse Chapel gave the doctor's arm a squeeze. Reminding him she was there for him. "Leonard… Jim's incredibly head strong…" She started.

McCoy looked at her and attempted to smile. "I know, I've never met anyone more stubborn than him."

They both looked at the sleeping man lying in front of them.

McCoy was the first to break the silence. "They are going to treat him at Star base Five. They are sending Dr. Josephine Digby to meet us there. She's the most qualified to deal with this, however due to Jim's allergies and complicated medical history they want me to lead his care. I also want you apart of the team. You know Jim better than these other strangers and he knows you. It could help him remember." McCoy explained.

Nurse Chapel could feel her cheeks blushing at the compliment, being asked to be a part of a complicated medical team was a huge responsibility, especially as Captain Kirk was Starfleet's pride and joy. "I'm honoured, sir."

"Let's patch up the wounds and bruises here and clean him up while he's stable. We don't want to deal with any extra work before we get to Star base five." McCoy ordered.


	13. Chapter 13

_**Authors Note:  
**_ _Thank you all for your messages/review. Its lovely to know people are still reading after such a long absence. Here's the latest, I'm struggling to find the right words for some of it - you now how some words are over used? I feel I do that too much.  
Anyway - I hope you enjoy!_

* * *

 **Chapter Twelve**

McCoy placed the dermal regenerator down on the metal tray Nurse Chapel was holding up for him.  
"That's the best I can do for now." McCoy said, looking up at Jim's fluctuating stats on the monitor above his head. "He's not stable enough for any type of Bone knitting right now."

Nurse Chapel looked down her beaten captain as she placed the tray on the bed side table. She picked up a dampened cloth and placed it neatly on Jim's forehead, mopping up the beads of sweat which were starting to form. "He looks better already, sir." She said, looking at the yellowing bruises that covered most of Jim's face and torso.

"Drop the formalities for now, Chris. It's just us two and the last thing we need to worry about is how we address each other." McCoy said with the smallest hint of a smile. "I can't believe they managed to fracture his eye socket. We will be lucky to keep that shiner off his face."

"I wouldn't like to see the other guy." Nurse Chapel said as she noticed McCoy's face drop, attempting to make her senior doctor smile again.

"The faded finger shaped bruises on his biceps say otherwise… just look at his knuckles. Not a single mark on them." He said, holding Jim's limp hand up for her to see.

"You think someone held him down? While some others beat him? That hardly seems…" Nurse Chapel stopped, she wanted to say fair, but what about any of this was fair? They found him in an insane asylum for goodness sake.

McCoy slowly lowered Jim's hand down, placing his own hand on top of it. "He's going to need a lot of support to get through this." McCoy said, giving Jim's hand a gentle squeeze. He went to move it away but the overwhelming urge to keep it there filled him. McCoy glanced up at Jim's vitals again, "I think he just squeezed my hand back…"

* * *

 _Darkness, all around._

 _"_ _Why can't I see…_

 _Wait…_

 _What's that?"_

 _He tried to force his eyes open wider. He could see a bright white light in the distance, but it was too far for him to work out what it could be. But it was light._

 _"_ _Penny? Penny! Is that you?_

 _I need you!_

 _Help me!"_

 _Jim's body wanted to move, he wanted to run, escape this darkness… the pain of being alone but his body just froze._

 _"_ _Doctor Harrison! Please! Help me!_

 _I… I can't move"_

 _He continued to call out. His legs were heavy, his arms felt pinned into place. All he could do was move his head to look either side of his useless self._

 _"_ _Do not be afraid..."_

 _An unfamiliar voice echoed into his mind, he attempted to open his eyes wider but the light didn't come any closer._

 _"_ _Who said that? Penny? Penny was that you?"  
Jim was starting to panic, he could feel his whole body shake with every heartbeat._

 _"_ _Please... I need help… I can't… I can't…"_

 _Wetness filled his eyes as a small tear began to run down the side of his face._

 _"_ _It is ok, Captain…"_

 _The voice continued._

 _Jim lost control. There it was again, that word… the word he couldn't hear._

 _A sharp burning erupted into his brain, frying his head inside out._

 _He had no choice but to squeeze his eyes shut and scream out._

 _He wanted to move his hands up, to hold his head… it felt as if it could burst at any second._

 _"_ _Jim… you are safe."_

 _The voice continued further._

 _Jim still had no control, but the words, made the pain worse. The screaming in his mind grew silent as nobody could save him. His whole body shook, but it was still pinned down into place._

 _"_ _Stop it! Stop it now! Please!"  
Jim tried his hardest to stop the voice, as it continued to push into his mind. _

_"_ _Remember who you are…"_

 _The voice finally faded leaving Jim panting heavily to catch his breath. Sweat and tears dripped down his face as he lay still… he was completely helpless._

Spock moved his fingers away from his face and opened his eyes slowly. He looked around his empty quarters, his meld had been successful. The captain, however, was not ready for it.

He tapped the secure comm to sickbay on, "Spock to Sickbay."

"McCoy here – what is it Spock?"

"I request an update on the Captain's progress."

"You can request all you like, it's only been a few hours. What do you want me to say?"

"The clear tension in your voice indicates that – "

McCoy quickly interrupted the Vulcan before he said something he regretted. "Spock, I've patched up the obvious bruises. We are just waiting for him to come around from the sedation, but looking at his vitals… he's still in pretty bad shape."

Spock was aware he could have easily been the cause of Jim's vitals changing rapidly.

"I am on my way, I will be present for his awakening."

"I don't know if that's best… I mean he's going to be pretty groggy."

"Doctor, Jim's injuries are in his mind. As I am the only being on board this ship who can ease any pain from his mind temporarily, I request that – "

"Ok fine. But don't be getting in the way." McCoy interrupted him again, he was far too tired to put up with, what McCoy called, his Vulcan attitude. "You better hurry, it looks like it could be any minute. McCoy out."

* * *

Jim's heart rate suddenly shot up, causing the alarm to sound loudly through the empty sickbay. McCoy quickly ran back from the desk placed at the end of the room. Luckily Scotty had placed a private comm in private room while they were down on the planet surface, it meant he never had to leave Jim's side.

"What happened?" He asked, watching Jim's body shaking.

"Nothing, Doctor. He just started to shake." Nurse Chapel explained.

"His oxygen levels are only a little under, pass me a shot of tri-ox." He ordered the nurse, keeping an eye on Jim's vitals still.

Nurse Chapel quickly picked up the hypo spray which was placed on the same bed side table as before, handing it to the doctor quickly. He quickly pinched it into Jim's neck with little affect.

"This isn't a fit." McCoy grabbed hold of Jim's arms, to stop them flapping about on the bed. "Jim, you're ok… It's me… it's…"

McCoy was quickly cut off by a scream. Jim squeezed his eyes shut tighter as the searing pain shot through his head again.

"Doctor! You must not use his name or rank. It is causing him a great deal of pain!" Spock shouted from the doorway, above the noise of Jim's screams and grunts of pain.

"Nurse! Pain killers! Now!" McCoy ordered, keeping his grip down on Jim to stop him falling off the bed. "If he doesn't calm down soon I'll have to restrain him!"

Nurse Chapel quickly clicked the pain relief into Jim's arm as McCoy held it still.

"It's ok… shhh…" McCoy said as Jim slowly started to still, keeping his eyes closed, the pain medication was enough to slightly numb the pain.

McCoy ran a hand through Jim's sweaty hair, "It's me… Bones… remember?"

The voice sounded muffled in Jim's ears, but he could work out some of the words. "Bones?" he whispered as he slowly opened his eyes enough to peak through his eye lids.

"Yeah… Spock's here too..." he said looking up at the Vulcan.

"Spock…" He whispered again, closing his eyes.

"Now, C'mon, open those pretty blues for me." McCoy said playfully to his friend.

"Tired." Jim whispered with a hoarse voice.

"I know, but I just wanna have a little look at you before you go to sleep." McCoy pleaded with him.

Jim opened one eye, thinking he had opened both, the swelling of the fractured eye socket hadn't gone down much with the dermal regenerator.

"That's better, now other than tired… how do you feel? What do you remember?" McCoy asked, watching for the changes in vitals closer than ever.

Jim squeezed his eye shut as he tried to remember, he didn't know why, but he really wanted to make his doctor happy.

"Penny. I remember Penny… and… and…" Jim started to trail off as he searched his mind of more memories, but saw nothing but the haunting darkness he despised.

McCoy looked over at Spock, this wasn't good. Spock had already placed a few familiar memories into Jim's mind on the planet's surface. He should have at least remembered those.

"If you allow, I can help you remember." Spock offered, holding up his hand.

McCoy saw red with anger. "Are you out of your Vulcan mind?! He's only just woken up!"

"Bones! No! It's ok…" Jim attempted to shout, coughing a small amount at the end to clear his dry throat. "I want to remember…"

McCoy massaged the back of his neck as he thought hard. He wanted Jim to remember more than anything – but if remember his name caused so much pain… pain he could only numb… was it really worth the risk? "Ok… but! You have to answer my one question, first." Jim looked up at the Doctor with sparkling eyes full of hope, hell, how was McCoy meant to say no to those puppy dog eyes?

He took a deep breath, nodding at Nurse Chapel who could clearly read his thoughts and picked up a mild sedative and clicked it into the hypo spray before things had a chance to go dramatically wrong.

"What's your name?"

Spock raised an eye brow, as Nurse Chapel and McCoy held their breaths.

Jim didn't have to think hard, although he did wonder why they wanted to know… surely they knew.

"Penny calls me Jimmy. But I don't like that." He answered innocently, his voice croaking slightly.

"What do you like to be called?" McCoy asked, reluctantly.

Jim looked up from his bed, the grey ceiling and the metallic walls made him feel safe. Silence filled the room so he could hear the gentle hum of the ship. He felt… like he was home.

"I like to be called…" Jim wanted to say it, but something pulled him back.

McCoy took a mental note of the rising heart beat on his monitor, he was starting to panic.

"It's ok – you don't have to say it. We will just have to call you Jimmy until you remember."

Jim nodded a little before closing his eyes. "Can I sleep now?" he asked with a crack in his voice.

"Sure, kid. You take a break." McCoy said, squeezing Jim's arm.

Jim smiled slightly.

 _Kid… I like that._ He thought before the sleep consumed him.


	14. Chapter 14

**_Authors_** _ **Note:**_

 _Another update! I'm hoping to keep the pace up.  
Here's a fun fact for you, that Star date below? was yesterdays date with an added 8 in. I always think star dates sound better with sets of two numbers together. I'm not the best at writing with Spock, so any ways to improve him will be greatly appreciated, please PM me if you know how I can make him better. Especially with the Captains Log. I don't feel pleased with it.  
But I do hope you enjoy it still!_

* * *

 **Chapter Thirteen**

 _Captains Log, star date_ _; – Acting Captain Spock reporting._

 _The Enterprise is currently on route to Star Base Five for Captain James T. Kirk to receive the further medical care needed since returning to the ship. Admiral Archer and the USS Lexington are also on route to the same destination. Since returning to the ship, Captain Kirk has been in a highly medicated state. Chief Medical Officer, Doctor Leonard McCoy, assures Admiral Archer and myself this is important to aid the Captain's recovery. It is clear Captain Kirk is under the effect of the Klingon's Mind Sifter technology, the captain is still unable to hear his rank and name. He has requested we call him 'Jimmy' until further notice._

 _From what I have witnessed, the Captain is in a current fragile state of mind. He appears to be suffering from short term memory loss, however is able to remember crew members and objects important to him._

 _Due to the strictest of privacy orders, only Admiral Archer, CMO Dr McCoy, Lt. Scott, Nurse Chapel and myself know that the captain is alive and on board the Enterprise. This is to protect Captain Kirk's fragile mind and also the rest of the crews moral. The crew have not been permitted shore leave. This is to protect Captain Kirk and ensure he is given the privacy he needs to recover._

 _We are expected to arrive at Star Base Five within the hour. Waiting for us there is a small team of the highest ranked medical professionals. Doctor McCoy will be leading them during our stay there, with Nurse Chapel assisting. The ship will also be receiving minor repairs while docked._

 _To aid the Captain's recovery, I have requested to join the medical team. Command will be handed over to Lt. Scott._

* * *

McCoy slammed his PADD down on his office desk, almost knocking the, half full cup of strong black coffee, over in the process. "God dammit." He hushed under his breath as he flustered through all the paper work scattered around the PADD. "Where is it..." he continued to mutter to himself.

Nurse Chapel popped her head in the open doorway. "Doctor, we are ready to leave. Do you have everything you need?"

McCoy didn't even notice the doors open until he heard Nurse Chapel speak. "Yeah, just… give me a sec." he said, without looking up.

"What exactly are you looking for?" Nurse Chapel asked as she stepped into the office.

McCoy stopped flustering and ended up throwing the paper work over the floor with frustration, again almost knocking his, now cold, coffee over. "Jim's music. I had it on my desk but now it's gone. A bit of music therapy always makes him feel better."

Nurse Chapel smiled as she walked over the desk, stepping around the bits of paper now scattered over the floor. "You mean this?" She asked, as she opened one of the desk drawers.

McCoy looked into the drawer and saw Jim's music stick and ear buds sitting next to an empty silver flask – an old gift from the captain himself for last times stressful medical stay. "Whats it doing in there?"

"It's the back up one you kept hidden away. You got fed up with the captain always coming in and taking the medical bays one and never returning it… so you hid one from him." Nurse Chapel continued to smile as the fond memories of Captain Kirk's friendship with McCoy filled her mind.

McCoy picked them up and popped them into his brown satchel. "He would never forgive me if I forgot this. Thank you Chris."

"Forgive me for intruding, Leonard. But when was the last time you slept?" Nurse Chapel wondered if she had crossed the line by calling him by his first name in such a formal statement.

McCoy wasn't even paying attention, he was too busy chucking all sorts of office bits into his bag to take to the Star Base. "What's that? … Oh I'm fine."

Nurse Chapel rolled her eyes. She could see how tired the doctor was just by looking at the limp body language and black circles under his eyes. She took hold of his ever moving hands from across the desk, stilling them so he made eye contact with her. "As soon as Jim is settled, I suggest you get a few hours' sleep." She ordered, loosening her grip on McCoy's hands.

McCoy looked down at his shaking hands. He had no idea how his body was still functioning. Jim had made little progress in the last few days and what they were going to do next seemed like it was make or break for the young captain's mind. It didn't help that Jim's fever didn't want to budge either, indicating he had picked up some sort of out dated viral infection from his time in the asylum. Jim wasn't sleeping through the nightmares, which meant in turn McCoy wasn't sleep either. He didn't want to admit it – but he was feeling the strain. "I suppose a few hours wouldn't hurt."

Nurse Chapel took a silent sigh of relief, "The transport team are almost here. The crew have been confined to their quarters. Are you ready to leave?" she asked.

McCoy stepped out of his office, taking a final look at his sickbay, it wasn't going to be his for a few weeks and he never liked leaving it in the care of anyone else. "What did they say to M'Benga?"

"That you and I are attending a medical training course on the Star base and that we are not to be disturbed." She answered.

McCoy let out a little chuckle. "How did he not find that a little suspicious? I mean there isn't much I haven't had experience with."

"They said it was on Vulcan psychology. Something he has more expertise in." Nurse Chapel grinned, bringing McCoy's ego down.

"Well that's just typical isn't it." McCoy said. "I suppose that green blooded, pointy eared…"

"Greetings Doctor. I trust that the Captain is sedated and ready for transport?" McCoy didn't even notice that Spock had already entered sickbay with a small group of people who were supposed to be assisting him in moving Jim.

He felt the warmth of his cheeks as they flushed red. "He's in his room, ready to go." McCoy said, looking towards Jim and out of the Vulcans view.

Spock led the team over to the room, as McCoy picked up one of the bags full of medications Jim wasn't allergic to and swung his own satchel over his shoulder.

"and Doctor, while you are studying the science of Vulcan psychology, may I suggest you study the Vulcan's increased range of hearing?"

Nurse Chapel couldn't hold back a giggle.

"Was that a joke? You've clearly been hanging around us humans too long!" McCoy called back, as he darted for the doors.

* * *

McCoy tossed and turned in his bed, he never settled well in unfamiliar quarters. "Computer – Lights at 40%" he ordered the empty room. He couldn't help but squint as his eyes adjusted to the light.

He sat up in his bed, looking at the empty bed across from his. As he had insisted on bringing Christine Chapel with him they were given no choice but to share a quarters. He didn't mind, he knew her well enough to respect her boundaries. She on the other hand, was used to sharing a quarters with Nurse Payne. McCoy laughed a little as he was reminded of her name, he thought back to when Jim was attending one of his routine medicals – the second she introduced herself Jim sniggered. Although she soon stopped the sniggering when she unleashed her ninja hypo spray skills and got him straight in the arm without a fight.

Jim was transported to the medical bay in Star Base five with ease – the damn kid slept the entire time. To be fair, he had given him a pretty powerful sedative before the trip. Jim was starting to ask questions about where he was and how he got there, while he remembers the crew it would have been too much strain on his recovering body to tell him the truth of it all. Anyway, for all they knew the mind sifter had effected more vocabulary than just his name and rank. It just wasn't worth the risk.

Even though Jim was settled, there was something eating at McCoy. He hated the fact that he had left Jim on his own, while those strangers poked and prodded at him. Sure, he was asleep – McCoy had made sure of that, the last thing he needed was Jim waking up without the only familiar face he knew there but he needed to know what they were doing to him now. He still didn't quite understand what they were going to do to cure Jim in the first place, he had a meeting to discuss his care plan at 1800 hours, which was why he was so desperate to have a clear head before he went.

He looked over to the wall clock, the opposite side of the room. The one thing McCoy did like about the Star Base quarters was how they were given a more homely feel – with carpeted floor, wooden furniture and solid beds. "15:25… is that all?" McCoy spoke to himself out loud. He could have sworn he had slept more than that. He swung his legs round off the bed and rubbed his face. The unsettling feeling in his stomach grew worse as he rose to his feet.

He wasted no time, and headed straight to Jim. Luckily the guest quarters were ideally placed right next to the med bay. It was probably something to do with how they were used for family members of the critically ill and passing by doctors and nurses.

The second the doors opened he saw the swarm of doctors around Jim, holding each limb down into place while Jim screamed out.

"What the hell is going on here!" McCoy shouted above the noise of Jim's pained cry. "Get off him!" he said, pushing past the doctors to get to his friend.

"The captain is experiencing…" One of the doctors started.

"What the hell did you say that for?!" McCoy interrupted as Jim screamed out in pain. "Didn't you read the notes I sent over? Step away from the patient… Now!" he ordered. "Wheres Nurse Chapel?"

All the doctors stepped back away from Jim, every set of eyes were on McCoy and Nurse Chapel as she barged through the doctors.

"Sedate him now – who knows what kind of damage they've done to him." McCoy ordered, looking into Jim's one good eye. The bruising and swelling from his eye socket fracture prevented him from checking the other.

Nurse Chapel swiftly put Jim back to sleep. "I'm sorry, Doctor… I was the other side of the med bay searching for –"

"Its fine, Nurse." McCoy interrupted again, panting with rage. "I know it wasn't you that caused this episode." He watched Jim's vitals ease again and turned to the group of Doctor's surrounding the trio.

"I think we need to rethink the medical team. If you cannot be bothered to read the notes then I don't want you on my team." McCoy could feel the hairs on the back of his neck rising. "I thought you were the best Starfleet had to offer? This patient is suffering some extremely complicated emotional trauma. Not to mention the fact that his body was beaten to a pulp when he found him too. I'll be speaking to the Admiralty about all of you." He said looking at the faces of the complete strangers. He didn't recognise a single face.

Silence flooded the room as the Doctor's moved away from McCoy. He didn't even notice the med bay doors had opened and someone new was hidden behind the group of Doctors.

"Scaring off the Doctors already, McCoy?" The voice spoke, breaking the silence.

"Well, look who it is." McCoy grinned, the biggest smile he had given since he found out Jim was actually alive. "Admiral, it's good to see you." He said, holding out his hand to offer a handshake as the man stepped forward to Jim.

"McCoy, please. I'm just here for… him." The admiral said, nodding his head towards Jim as he took McCoy's hand, giving it a strong shake. "Just call me Chris, it might help him."

"I'm sure you being here will help him a lot, Admiral Pike." Nurse Chapel said, holding her hand out for him to shake, she couldn't help but address him correctly. 

* * *

_**Authors Second Note:**_

 _So look who it is! Christopher Pike! I really wanted to include him in this some way, so there he is! I've never written with him before, so here's hoping he will stick around long enough to give Jim a helping hand in his recovery!_


	15. Chapter 15

_**Authors Note:**_

 _Here you go! I've kinda written this in 2 hits, I hope it flows ok._  
 _I apologise now for any medical mistakes - I am not a doctor nor have any medical training._  
 _I've also never really written about how a mind meld should go, but I gave it a try._  
 _Any questions message me and I will hopefully clear up any issues._

 _eek. I'm nervous about this update. But I hope you enjoy_

* * *

 **Chapter Fifteen**

McCoy slammed his hands down on the large metal table in front of him. The slap of his skin hitting the hard surface rattled through his body. "Mistakes were made!" he shouted, his voice echoing through the room. The medical 'conference' regarding Jim's care plan were finally being discussed and McCoy wasn't exactly thrilled that he was being forced to take a back seat. The Admiral Archer was leading the meeting along with Admiral Francesco, who just so happened to despise Jim for reasons nobody really understood, McCoy assumed it was because he was jealous of Jim getting the highest marks in Starfleet Academy history. If anyone ever doubted him, it was Francesco.

"Doctor McCoy, I must insist you calm down before I have you removed from his care and placed on medical suspension." Archer said, raising his voice to be heard.

McCoy slowly sat back down onto his seat. The meeting to discuss Jim's care wasn't going how he had hoped and they had already refused his request to select the medical team himself. The, so called, experts had already made the mistake of not reading his notes because they assumed they knew best.

"Fine." McCoy huffed as he crossed his arms. "But any more mistakes like that and you'll know about it."

"I'm sure it wasn't as bad as you made out." Francesco slipped in.

McCoy glared at Pike, who was luckily sat next to him around the table.

"They caused him pain. I witnessed it myself. Even I knew not to mention Jim's name or rank in front of him." Pike finally swept in. "Anyway, aren't we getting off the point? You informed Doctor McCoy, the Starfleet medical council and myself that Doctor McCoy was going to lead Jim's care with a selected team of professionals… Starfleet's best. So far all I've seen is a bunch of med students who can't even be bothered to read the notes sent over to us a week ago."

"Admiral Pike has got a valid point." Admiral Archer said to the others sat around the table.

"Perhaps it would be logical to follow through with those orders, as the Doctor does understand the Captain's complicated medical needs." Spock soon joined the conversation, McCoy didn't even notice him slip into the room.

"Ah, Commander Spock. It is good to see you again." Admiral Archer continued. "This is the man we have to thank for finding Jim Kirk and returning him home."

"The one that refused to follow orders and then lead three ships into a Klingon warzone?" Francesco hissed.

"That's enough, Francesco. After discussing your actions with Starfleet council, we have decided that you acted honourably. You protected your crew while you were experiencing emotional distress. All charges have been dropped against you and the crew that acted alongside you. You are to continue as acting captain until Kirk can return." Archer continued.

A huge weight lifted of McCoy, not only did they think Jim could return to captain the ship, but they were going to let him be captain again. He made a mental note to thank Spock for it later.

"Vulcans do not experience emotional distress, sir." Spock said, cocking an eyebrow.

"Whatever, Spock, just be glad you're not in trouble." Admiral said, waving his hand in the air.

Spock wasn't one to argue, he knew Archer understood that Vulcans were in full control of their emotions, so he chose to ignore the remark. "I request to be a part of the medical team, sir."

"You've got to be kidding me." McCoy said quietly, although it was still loud enough for Pike to hear.

"Spock, you are a science officer. Not only that, the crew of the Enterprise needed you to be their captain. Things must continue as normal for them, which includes you sitting in that captain's chair on the bridge." Archer began.

"You have no medical training! How could you possibly be any help to Jim?" McCoy piped up before Spock had a chance to speak.

"I believe that you have forgotten that I am Vulcan, Doctor." Spock explained. "I am the only person that can relive the captain from this pain."

"Oh yeah? How?" McCoy was really starting to lose his patience now, the last thing he needed was Spock getting in the way of Jim's treatment.

"The Vulcan mind meld. By accessing the captain's mind, I can unlock his memories, his thoughts and feelings." Spock explained, placing his hands in the small of his back.

"We have the technology to undo the effects of the mind meld right here." Francesco hissed. "How could you possibly make it any easier for Kirk?"

"The technology you currently have is dangerous to the minds of those that use it. It has only been tested once and left the patient clinically insane." Spock continued.

"If you could… somehow protect Jim's mind using a mind meld, could that bring his chances of surviving this, with his mind intact, up?" McCoy asked, working out in his own mind how this could possibly work.

"If I can reach through to the captain, the probability of him remaining sane is 88.99%." Spock concluded.

"And how did you work out these so called odds?" Francesco snapped.

"If I can gain access into Jims mind, I can assure him that the treatment is going to work. I believe the saying is 'Positive Mental Attitude'. By keeping him calm and relaxed the treatment will work."

"You're basing this all on an IF? What IF you can't gain access into Jim's mind?" Francesco didn't like the idea, but he never really understood why Spock would endanger himself and the crew's lives like that. In his eyes, Captain Kirk was nothing special.

"That's enough Francesco." Archer stopped the debate, silencing the room, he knew what Francesco thought about Kirk. "What do you think, Doctor Digby?" Archer asked.

Sitting opposite from Pike was Dr. Josephine Digby. She was a dainty little human, her long blonde hair curled slightly at the ends and her thick black rimmed framed her thin face perfectly. She wore a white lab coat on top of her Starfleet blues and sat up perfectly straight as she quietly observed the others, making notes on them all on her notepad. McCoy looked at her quickly, chuckling to himself as he knew the second Jim clapped his eyes… or eye, on her he would fall head over heels for her.

"From what I understand – I think a Vulcan on the medical care team is a fantastic idea. Why would you risk anyone's sanity? If he can help Captain Kirk then this could be a medical breakthrough for us all if this ever happened again. I am looking forward to observing and reporting my findings to Starfleet medical council." She said, tapping her pen on the notepad.

"Doctor McCoy, do you agree with Dr. Digby?" Archer asked, looking across the table at McCoy.

"I do. If Spock can help Jim through this, then I don't see why he shouldn't be on the team… those other doctors on the other hand…"

"Then it's agreed. Spock you will hand your command over to Lt. Scott and join the medical team. As it stands for now, McCoy you shall continue to lead the team. Starfleet's finest will remain on the team unless I say otherwise. I can assure you, that no mistakes will be made again. Dismissed."

* * *

McCoy stormed into Sickbay gritting his teeth. The second the surrounding doctors heard the doors swoosh open and saw McCoy they knew better than to get in his way – especially after his little outburst from before.

"How's he doing?" He said, pulling the curtain back to see Nurse Chapel sitting next to Jim.

"Sleeping off his sedation, Sir. He still has a slight fever but other than that there is no change." She held out the PADD she was tapping away on to McCoy, allowing him to read the detailed notes she had left for him.

"Let's get some pain relief in him for that fever, hopefully we can lower it a little." He said, without looking up from the PADD.

"Certainly, Doctor." She said before getting up from her chair and fetching the hypo spray.

McCoy placed the PADD down on the bed and watched his friend closely. He could see Jim's eyes moving from under his eyelids as he dreamt. Before he could act an alarm bell sounded from above the bed and the doctors surrounded him.

"Some space would be nice." McCoy grumbled, checking the monitor.

"His heart rate is up. I suggest a shot of Antenolol." an unfamiliar doctor, who thought he was extremely brave for speaking up, said. Breaking the tension.

"If I needed your advice I would have asked for it." McCoy said through gritted teeth. "If you had read the list of medications I had sent through, then you would have seen that J… the patient, is in fact, allergic to most Beta-Blockers." McCoy stepped back to Jim, silencing the alarm. "Nurse Chapel, close the curtains and give the patient some privacy please."

Nurse Chapel passed McCoy the hypo she had prepared and swished the curtains closed, blocking out the silent doctors.

McCoy placed his hands on either side of his face, his red scars from the mind sifter were a painful memory of what they had done to his friend.

"It's me, remember my voice?" he started to speak to Jim, who was now muttering some language McCoy didn't recognise.

"C'mon kid, Its Bones. Come back to us" He continued as Jim's muttering got louder.

"Sir, his temperature is rising further." Nurse Chapel interrupted.

"Give him another shot, I think he's trying to wake up." McCoy ordered.

"Perhaps, Doctor, I could be of some help." Spock said, stepping through the curtain, closing it behind him.

"Did it just get a little more crowded in here, or is it me?" McCoy huffed, removing his hands from Jim and giving him a fresh hypo in his arm.

"Doctor, if you would allow?" Spock asked, raising his hand up.

"Be my guest." McCoy said, stepping to the side of Jim's head, allowing Spock access to him.

Spock nodded at McCoy before he placed his fingers in the exact placed on Jim's face which allowed them to form a bond.

Nurse Chapel stepped back also, allowing Spock full concentration. "Will this work?"

"Let's hope." McCoy said, "He's remembering the past still…We are going to have to start this treatment sooner rather than later."

"But Doctor, he isn't ready." Nurse Chapel said, flashing her eyes onto Jim and Spock.

"You're telling me. But the longer he stays like this, the longer the treatment and with every minute we leave him in this state… it becomes less likely that he will return to us." McCoy said, causing the room to fill with silence once again.

* * *

 _"_ _My mind to your mind…_

 _My thoughts to your thoughts…_

 _Let me feel your thoughts._

 _Let me explore your mind._

 _Let me protect you."_

 _No. You can't. No. Stay back. Please. Just stay back._

 _"_ _My mind to your mind…_

 _My thoughts to your thoughts…_

 _Jimmy… Read my thoughts. They are of good intent.  
I am here to protect you."_

 _Spock searched around Jim's mind but he could only see darkness._

 _He felt the unknown, the anxiety and the pain Jim could feel, but was strong enough to fight it._

 _Stay out of my head!_

 _The words echoed into Spock's own mind, with flashes of red becoming all he could see._

 _"_ _Let me protect you, Jimmy."_

 _Spock continued to search Jim's mind, looking for his inner self._

 _She said she would protect me. Keep me safe. Now look at me!_

 _The words continued to echo with the flashes of red lighting up smaller parts of Jim's mind._

 _The final flash was enough for Spock to see a small outline of a man, collapsed on the floor, curled up in the foetal position. Spock instantly ran to him, placing a secure, safe hand on the man's back._

 _"_ _Forget… Jimmy."_

 _I can't… I can't forget…_

 _Jim's inner self sobbed much like a child as he continued to old himself._

 _"_ _Who are you?"_

 _Spock asked the captain._

 _I am... Ca… Cap… CAPTAIN!_

 _The searing pain jolted through his mind and Spocks. Causing both the men to instinctively grab their heads and scream out in pain._

 _"_ _AGAIN!" Spock shouted into Jim's mind, "You must fight this, Jimmy!"_

 _Spock ordered, calling out into Jim's mind further._

 _No… I can't… the pain… it's too much._

 _Jim's inner self sobbed like a child again._

 _"_ _Then, Jimmy, you let them win."  
Spock said, toying with the man's emotions even though he could feel them too._

 _My name is not Jimmy._

 _Jim's inner self stood up slowly onto his feet, the image was battered and bruised, the fact it was standing at all was remarkable._

 _"_ _Who are you?"  
Spock asked again. _

_I am CAPTAIN JAMES T KIRK._

 _Searing pain shot through them both, causing Spock to let go of the bond._

 _The image of the Captain on the floor, screaming out, squeezing his head to try and stop the pain was the final thing he saw before it faded out._

* * *

McCoy watched the mind meld and every single little flinch the captain made. "What the devil is going on inside his head?" He asked Nurse Chapel without taking his eyes off the pair.

"Does it normally last this long?" She asked, also watching the pair.

"I don't normally watch these things…" McCoy admitted, looking up at the monitor instinctively "but whatever is going on in there it's not good. Quickly we need to give him a shot of tri-ox, his oxygen levels are dropping."

Nurse Chapel swiftly loaded the hypo spray with the requested medication and handed it to McCoy.

The click and hiss was enough to control the oxygen level on the silenced monitor but that didn't mean the rest of Jim's stats were normal.

"We've got to do something!" Nurse Chapel called out to the stunned McCoy.

"We can't pull them apart" For all I know, that could cause more damage to Jim's mind as well as Spocks!" McCoy said, hoping Jim wasn't conscious enough to hear his name.

All of Jim's stats were rising again before he could say anymore and Spock's hand left Jim's face as he collapsed to the floor.

"Nurse! Quickly!" McCoy ordered, tending to Jim with another series of hypos and an oxygen mask.

Nurse Chapel, crouched down to Spock and patted his hand. "Commander, are you ok?" She whispered.

Spock kept his eyes closed. "I must meditate. The captain is… very strong minded."

The curtain swung open as McCoy and Nurse Chapel were helping Spock to his feet.

"What the hell is going on here?!" Dr. Digby stood at the foot of Jim's bed, tapping her pencil on her note book as she raised an eyebrow.


	16. Chapter 16

**_Authors Note:_**

 _Here's my latest update. I have recently changed my authors note on chapter one also. I received a guest review asking a question about my inspiration regarding this story and it dawned on me that I didn't really explain it well enough on the first page so now that's all updated._

 _I hope you all still continue to read, but it was important for me to explain it on there first for any new readers. I'm nervous about this and yes! it is short. But I really wanted to update before tomorrow. I'm off out to see the first showing of Star Trek Beyond in my area! I am so BEYOND excited, so I'll probably be more engrossed in that than this. However this is not over! And it'll encourage me to finish it before all the Beyond Fan Fics start appearing!_

* * *

 **Chapter Sixteen**

"I must leave." Spock whispered as he pushed his way from McCoy and Nurse Chapel's grip and headed out to his temporary quarters.

"Does someone care to explain to me why this man's vitals just went a little crazy? Or am I going to have to find out through the admiralty?" Dr Digby asked, still tapping her pencil on her scruffy note book.

"How do you know about his vitals? We silenced the alarms." Nurse Chapel asked innocently, not realising she wasn't helping the matter.

"I have a bio scanner placed on him, to keep track of his care. Not only that but it means I will be able to work out when he is stable for a psychological examination." She explained, "Now, I've told you what you want to know, so you can tell me what I want to know."

"Hold on a minute – you don't practice medicine. So why does any of this concern you?" McCoy asked, walking to the end of Jim's bed to be closer to the woman.

"As I said – I need to monitor Jim's vitals in order to understand when he is most stable. He was stable before Mr Spock came and visited. What did he do?" she asked, refusing to be intimated by the doctor the rest of the medical team were afraid of.

"If you have to know – a mind meld." Dr. McCoy said, backing away to the other side of Jim's bed. He picked up his hand torch and peaked into Jim's good eye, checking his pupil reactions to make himself look busy.

"Oh good! You started the treatment." Dr Digby said, watching McCoy work. "How did he respond to the mind probe?"

The mind probe was the only piece of equipment that the team had to rely on when it came to restoring Jim's mind. It was a rough treatment which involved all kinds of lasers being fired into Jim's brain at the same time. It wasn't something McCoy agreed with, one false move and that was it. Jim could end up forgetting all his memories or even worse loose his sanity.

"We didn't exactly use the mind probe." McCoy said, attempting to check Jim's swollen eye, but the fracture made it impossible to peal the eye lid back. "Nurse Chapel, can you get a cold compress on this please? We need to reduce the swelling before it puts too much pressure on the eye."

"So you just performed a mind meld with that Vulcan chap… for fun?" Dr Digby flicked her note pad open and turned to the page with her notes on McCoy on. It was an interesting habit, but she liked to make a few notes on the people she met. So far all she had worked out about him is that he is a power mad doctor who cared for his captain a little too much.

"Spock thought that he could wake the captain up… are you making notes on me?" McCoy looked away from Jim to see her scribbling down everything he had said.

Dr Digby quickly flicked her note pad shut again. "Sorry. It's just something I like to do."

"Let me see." McCoy asked, holding his hand out.

"Maybe some other time." She said shying away. She put her scruffy note pad back in her lab coat pocket hoping McCoy would forget this conversation ever happened. "Next time your Vulcan performs a mind meld, I'd like to be present to observe… if that's ok."

McCoy shrugged his shoulders and watched Nurse Chapel placing the cold compress onto Jim's broken eye. "Sure. It's not much to witness."

"Thank you." She blushed, before turning on her heel and leaving the medical doctors to their job.

Jim started twitching, although McCoy hadn't been watching. He was too busy watching Dr Digby leave, admiring the smell of her sweet perfume she left behind.

"Doctor McCoy." Nurse Chapel whispered after checking the curtain was closed again. "He's waking up."

McCoy instantly turned round to see Jim's eye starting to flutter open. He couldn't help but smile.

"Hey Jimmy" He whispered. "We wondered when you would wake up."

Jim's head hurt, a lot. The constant throbbing in his skull was beyond uncomfortable, causing him to squint his eyes shut at the brightness of the room, which in turn made his face ache too.

"You gotta headache?" McCoy asked, watching his pain factor rise on the monitor.

Jim just gave a small nod, keeping his eyes squeezed tight.

"I can give you something for that." McCoy said gently, "Lights – 20%" he ordered as the lights dimmed and he squeezed a small hypo into Jim's neck.

Jim gritted his teeth, holding in the pinching pain from the hypo.

"You'll start feeling better soon, I promise. It's only something to take the edge off, I don't want you sleeping the rest of the day away, ok?" McCoy said softly, placing the empty vial from the hypo spray onto the bedside tray for Nurse Chapel to take away.

"Ok, Bones." Jim whispered.

McCoy beamed with his biggest smile, even though Jim didn't see it. The fact Jim remembered him just from voice alone meant that Spock's mind meld must have helped, even if it was just a little.

"How about you open those baby blues for me?" he teased, lifting the cold compress off his other eye.

Jim, for once, followed his doctor's orders and attempted to open his eyes, well he attempted with the eye that wasn't swollen. He managed to open his good eye just enough to make out McCoy and his goofy smile. He instantly rolled his eye and tutted as the eye lid became heavy again.

"What was that grunt for?" McCoy asked, noticing Jim's reaction.

"That goofy face you're pulling." Jim said, peaking out of his eye again, attempting to smile a tiny bit.

McCoy slapped Jim on his arm, "You've had us worried, Jimmy! We are allowed to worry about you." He tapped away at a PADD that Nurse Chapel handed him.

"Yeah, well stop it. I don't like it." Jim said, finally attempting to open his swollen eye a little.

"You don't like what?" McCoy asked, not looking up from his PADD.

"You calling me that. Jimmy… I don't like it. Brings back… well… it doesn't feel good ok?" Jim said, attempting to sit up a little.

Nurse Chapel saw Jim struggling and rushed to his side to adjust the bed to a more comfortable angle. "You told us to call you that" Nurse Chapel said, trying her hardest to hold back on the formalities in case it set any pain triggers off.

"Did I?" Jim asked, looking at McCoy.

McCoy exchanged slightly concerned looks with Nurse Chapel before he waved a tricorder over his friend. "You did, but it's ok. We all forget things now and again." McCoy had to lie, the last thing Jim needed was to be stressed out again.

"It's hot in here." Jim said, breaking the tension.

"You still have a slight fever, but nothing too drastic." McCoy looked down at the tricorder, just as he thought, Jim had picked up some old fashioned infection. "Looks like you could have picked up a minor viral infection during your stay… back in time." McCoy thought carefully about his choice of words.

"Is that why I have this poking into me?" Jim asked, holding his hand up in the air showing the Doctor the cannula going into his hand.

"It won't be for long. I promise. Now, going back to names. What would you like to be called?" McCoy said, now tapping at the PADD kept at the end of Jim's bed again.

Jim thought hard. He searched his mind for the right word. He knew what his name was, but there was something holding him back from saying it.

"Captain." Jim said, proudly.

McCoy and Nurse Chapel both exchanged looks again.

"Ok… Captain." McCoy said hesitantly, not wanting to cause Jim any pain. He instantly looked up at the monitor above Jim's head.

"Only a small change in the pain factor, sir." Nurse Chapel beat him to it.

"Fantastic, Captain… how do you feel?" McCoy asked Jim, who clearly had no idea what all the fuss was for.

"I feel…" Jim wasn't sure how to answer again, he searched his empty mind deeply and twitched all his limbs a little. "I feel fine. Well, my head hurts a little... and I'm a little tired."

"That'll be the pain meds. Just try to rest a little while they get into your system." The doctor said, patting Jim's arm.

"Are you sure we should let him sleep, sir?" Nurse Chapel whispered, turning her back so Jim couldn't hear.

"I don't think we have a choice. His body received quite a beating. We will just give him an hour. To be able to say his rank without the pain he was going through before is a huge breakthrough. His mind must be exhausted." McCoy explained. "But it looks like we can restore the Captain we all know and love with just Spock's mind melds."

Jim's body felt heavy and he nestled himself down onto the soft bed. Tucking his arms under the thin blanket and moving it closer to himself. Lots of different parts of him ached, he had no idea why, but he felt safe again. "Where's Spock?" He almost whispered while letting a yawn escape him.

"He's resting too, Captain." Nurse Chapel whispered back, turning back around and tucking the blanket around him.

Jim smiled, letting another yawn out. "I want…" Jim's eye lids grew heavier and the ongoing battle to keep them open was one he was losing. "To see him."

"I can arrange that, but first, you must rest." She said, brushing his hair back gently as she watched his eyes flutter shut. "You've had a busy day, sir."


	17. Chapter 17

_**Authors Note:**_

 _First of all I just want to start with - WOW. How amazing was Beyond? I loved it so much that I'm going to see it again next week! I am SO excited about the new Fanfictions it will inspire. Although there were a few parts I was a bit like... What? For example (without giving anything away as its in the trailer) - How do you get in a fight, fall from height, onto glass and end up without a single mark on you?_  
 _Hmm._  
 _If you want to message me about the film I am super happy to discuss things with you, including my overall thoughts on it. I am desperate to share my thoughts on it with real Star Trek fans and not my friends who have no idea who Jim Kirk even is. Haha._

 _So here's my next Chapter. I hope you enjoy!_

* * *

 **Chapter Seventeen**

McCoy tossed and turned on his comfortable wooden bed. Things were a little bit cramped, what with having to share a quarters with Nurse Chapel, but it was something he could cope with.

He looked up at the clock, which happened to be perfectly placed just above the door.

 _03:45. Great. Another night with minimal sleep._

He wanted to blame Jim, he really did. But he just couldn't. It wasn't Jim's fault he was constantly worried about him… well. It was. But this time not so much. After all it wasn't his fault the Klingons captured him. He laid back down onto his bed, the softness of his pillow supporting his head and neck wonderfully. He made a mental note to smuggle the pillow back to the Enterprise with him.

He thought back to that away mission. The mission that was supposed to be so simple yet turned into this nightmare.

 _"_ _It'll be easy Bones. All we have to do is pop down there, give them the meds and leave again."_

 _"_ _Then why do you need me? I'm a doctor Jim, not a god damn…"_

 _The transporter tingled as they beamed down to the surface of Planet Zander VI. It was hot, sticky, muggy, humid… you name it. Not a nice place to be when you're having to lug crates of medicines and blankets around. Luckily, they had beamed straight down infront of the medical centre._

 _The creatures that lived here were an incredible sight._

 _They were a cross between lizard and human. They stood tall and were a proud species. They had minimal understanding of the human race and it was down to Jim to teach them._

 _"_ _I am Captain James T Kirk, of the Starship Enterprise. This is some of my crew, Doctor McCoy and my head of engineering, Mr Scott. Starfleet received your request for medical supplies. We are here to deliver them." Jim spoke into the universal translator, allowing the species to understand them in their own native tongue._

 _"_ _Welcome to Zander VI. I am Bailisk. We are sincerely grateful for such a humble response."_

 _The creature spoke back._

 _"_ _You are most welcome. We hope by helping you, we can learn more about your species and cultures." Jim continued. Even when the suns heat beamed directly down onto them, he wasn't fazed at all._

 _"_ _Certainly, Captain. Perhaps we could show you our town while our men transfer the medical supplies?" Bailisk gestured around the city using his open arms. His long pointy claws opening as he opened his hand. McCoy couldn't help but raise an eyebrow at the thought of how sharp they were._

 _"_ _We understand you are a doctor."_

 _Another creature spoke to McCoy._

 _"_ _That is correct."_

 _McCoy gulped, not feeling at all comfortable around these lizard people anymore._

 _"_ _Perhaps you would prefer a tour of the medical facility?"_

 _The creature asked, opening his arm and pointing his claw to the building in front of them all._

 _"_ _I think it'll be best if I stay with…"_

 _McCoy sputtered._

 _"_ _Nonsense, Doctor! You go and see the medical facility. You never know, you could learn a thing or two."_

 _Jim interrupted. Patting McCoy hard on the shoulder, before he and Scotty left him._

 _"_ _Jim… No… Captain… No!"_

An alarm sounded, buzzing into his dreams louder and louder. It caused him to bolt upright, panting for breath. The sheets from his bed were drooped over the floor where he had been tossing and turning most of the night.

"God dammit, Jim." Bones whispered. Not realising Nurse Chapel was standing in the doorway.

"Are you ok, Leonard?" she asked, dropping the formalities while they were off duty.

"Who's with Jim?" He instantly snapped back, grabbing the PADD next to his bed to check on Jim's vitals, which were holding as steady as they were when he left him.

"Admiral Pike. He insisted I leave them. I can't understand why though." She said, sitting on her own bed. "He slept right through."

McCoy rubbed his face. "Well, at least he won't let anyone else near him."

"Unless he nods off." Nurse Chapel teased as she unzipped her boot.

McCoy glared back at her. "Suppose I better get back to them then!" he said, sprinting out of bed.

* * *

The medical bay on Star base five was normally a busy place. Often Starfleet students were brought out here for placement, but as this was such a private case, the admirals made sure that only people with clearance had even stepped onto the base. As McCoy stepped in the room the doctors, that were exchanging notes, discussing treatments and generally socialising fell silent. They all looked away and pretended to be busy as not to be quizzed by the more senior doctor.

The first thing McCoy noticed was the sound of gentle laughing coming from around Jim's bed. He smiled, laughing was good right? It meant Jim must have been in good spirits. He was going to have to be after the treatment that they had planned for him today…

"Morning, Captain." McCoy said, pulling the curtain back.

Jim was sat up in bed, the swelling around his damaged eye was reduced significantly, enough for Jim to have opened it slightly. Next to him was Admiral Pike, he was sitting relaxed with his legs crossed. Even he had creased lines on his face from laughter.

"How do you feel this morning?" McCoy asked, picking up the notes at the end of his bed.

"Fine. In fact… we were wondering… if I could maybe go to the mess hall for breakfast?" Jim pleaded, smiling sweetly at the doctor.

McCoy almost dropped the notes in his hand. "You sure you're up to that? I mean… do you even understand where we are?"

Jim looked at Pike with his biggest puppy dog eyes, not really knowing what to say next.

"The captain and I were discussing how we first met earlier. He had an excellent understanding of the night and even told me some of the story by himself. Don't get me wrong, he struggled to find the right words…"

"I'm sitting right here and we are in a Star base." Jim interrupted, he hated being treated like a child.

"Alright then, smart arse. Tell me. How do you remember meeting Admiral Pike?" McCoy asked, "In your own words." He quickly added in.

"I was in a bar fight." Jim said, smiling like a goof.

"And…" McCoy said, noting down any changes.

"We were fighting over Uhura." He continued.

McCoy's eyes instantly looked up at his monitor at the mention of Uhura's name. Only a tiny little fluctuation and it was back to normal again as Jim continued his story.

"I ended up flat on my back over a table and I heard this loud whistle and it was Pike and …"

"That's enough Jim, I get it." McCoy took a deep breath and thought hard about his options. Clearly Jim was feeling better. There was no harm in him going out to the mess hall, but it could tire him out for his treatment… but then if they pushed it back to the afternoon…

"So can I go?" Jim interjected, growing impatient.

"Fine." McCoy said, snapping out of his thought trail. "But you go in the chair."

"Really, Bones? I can walk just fine." Jims face dropped at the thought of being wheeled through the base like a child.

"I'm sure you can." McCoy started, wheeling the chair over to the bed. "However, when did you last try to walk?" he teased.

Jim frowned at McCoy and pushed himself off the bed. His wobbly legs weren't expecting it however and instantly gave up as the wave of dizziness overcame his eyesight.

McCoy and Pike instinctively grabbed an arm each, forcing Jim back to sitting on the bed. McCoy whipped a small tricorder scanner off the bed side table, Nurse Chapel did well to remember how he always liked one in reaching distance of Jim for such an emergency.

"I'm fine, Bones. I just wasn't expecting it." Jim said, pushing the scanner away. "Let me try again."

Everything in McCoy's head was screaming out no, but he liked seeing the determined Jim back. He had to admit he kinda missed Jim's escape techniques from Sickbay.

"Go ahead." McCoy said, stepping back.

Pike followed McCoy's actions, lifting his hands away from Jim.

Jim gulped the quickly forming saliva down his throat before he pushed himself off the bed again.

His knees bent a little, but he stayed strong. His legs shaking slightly as the blood pumped around them quickly.

"See? I can do it!" Jim said, focusing hard on standing up.

"Good Job, Captain. But now I think its best you sit." McCoy said, reading Jim's vitals on the PADD he quickly whipped out, noticing the increase in blood pressure.

Jim almost collapsed into the hoover chair McCoy had brought over to his bed. Thankfully Pike was there to lower him in gently.

"Let's go!" Jim said, pointing forwards. "I want me some pancakes!"

Pike grabbed the handles of the chair ready to push Jim out the med bay. "With maple syrup!"

McCoy rolled his eyes. "Or something a little easier on the stomach?" he said, following the pair.

* * *

The mess hall was practically empty. Which was probably down to the fact that Jim wanted to stop and talk to everyone on the way there. A short 2 minute walk turned into a 15 minute slow stroll.

"Can we go by the window?" Jim asked Pike, looking up at him with shining eyes.

"Sure thing, Kid." Pike said, wheeling him over to one of the tables next to the large window. The window took up pretty much all of the wall, meaning Jim could sit at the table and see out of it while staying in his chair.

"I'll leave you with the view and grab us the pancakes." Pike said, grinning as Jim took in the view of space.

It was like seeing it all for the first time all over again. He felt very small. The small white dots from further away planets and stars twinkled into his eyes.

"I forgot how beautiful it all was."

McCoy smiled, setting two bowls of porridge down. He took a seat opposite Jim and pushed one over to him. "Here, eat up. We've got a busy day today. You'll need your strength." He said.

Jim looked away from the window for the first time, expecting to see pancakes. "What the hell is this?" he said, picking up a spoon full of porridge and tipping it back off the spoon again.

"It's porridge. You need to eat at least half before you can even think about pancakes." McCoy said, tucking into his own bowl.

"Seriously?" Jim protested. Turning his nose up. "But he gets pancakes!"

Pike returned back with two plates of pancakes and a small jug of syrup. "Sorry, kid. You gotta do what the doctor says or he won't let me come see you again."

Jim folded his arms and powted. "So your both ganging up on me now?"

"Just do as your friendly doctor says, Jimbo." McCoy almost chocked on his mouthful, dropping his spoon realising his own slip of tongue.

Both McCoy and Pike stared at each other wide eyed and then flicked back at Jim, who was picking up his spoon blowing his porridge before taking a mouthful.

"What?" he mumbled, with a mouthful of porridge.

McCoy and Pike instantly sigh a sigh of relief together. Either Jim was too preoccupied picking at his porridge or Jimbo doesn't affect him. McCoy made a mental note to test this theory…followed by another mental note to treat himself to a little note book like Dr. Digbys.

"Just pleased to see you eating. That's all." Pike said, covering the awkward silence while McCoy was consumed in his own thoughts.

The trio enjoyed light conversation while they ate together, Mostly started by Jim, involving the same story over and over again, but with different detail each time. McCoy and Pike just nodded along, pretending to be deeply engaged with the story. Until McCoy noticed Jim's eyes were glazed and he kept letting secret yawns escape him.

"Maybe we should head back to the med bay now, after all we've got a busy afternoon, remember Captain?" McCoy said, picking up his empty bowl and Jim's half empty one. He neatly stacked them on the tray Pike had brought over, followed by an empty plate and an full plate of pancakes which Jim never got around to eating.

"But… Pancakes." Jim yawned again, his eye lids dropping.

"I think that's enough excitement for one morning. Maybe we can come back tomorrow for some." Pike said, standing to his feet and grabbing the chair handles again.

Jim rested his head back on the chair, luckily these hover chairs had high backs to support the whole back and head. "Fine." He sulked, before closing his eyes for the ride back.

"You do know we are starting the mind probe this afternoon, I doubt he will be up to much after that." McCoy mumbled out of ear shot of Jim.

"I thought you didn't believe in that treatment, Doctor." Pike whispered back.

"I don't. But it's the quickest way to get him back as we knew him." He continued to whisper, not noticing Jim had already fallen asleep in the chair.

"But what about his sanity?" Pike asked. Noticing Jim's head lolling forwards.

"Spock will help with that." McCoy said, pushing Jim's sleeping head back towards the end of the chair.

The word Spock echoed into Jim's ears, quickly waking him briefly "Spock! I want to speak to Spock still. Chapel said…" his eyes closed again, as sleep consumed him.

"Well. That was random." Pike said. "Why does he want Spock?"

"I don't know, but I'm sure we will find out this afternoon." McCoy replied. "I would ask you to be present with us during the probe… but we need the space. However, I would like you around for when he wakes up."

"Of course. I'll have my comm on waiting for your updates." Pike stopped as they arrived at the med bays door. He let go of the chair and held his hand out for McCoy to shake. "Good Luck, Doctor. Bring him back to us."

McCoy took his hand and shook it firmly, before taking the handles of Jim's chair. "I'll try." He whispered, not wanting to admit his worry.


	18. Chapter 18

**_Authors_** _ **Note** :_ _  
Due to gaining a huge amount of new followers (Thank you by the way!), I felt the need to update you all asap! Its so inspiring to see you all enjoy what I've written. So I've worked hard between my terrible working hours to update you quicker. Thank You - You are all incredible._

 _I hope you enjoy Chapter 18. There is quite a bit of speech in this chapter, so I hope it doesn't look too spaced out on whatever device you read it on :)_

* * *

 **Chapter Eighteen**

"I just don't trust it, sir. How does shooting lasers into Jim's brain solve anything? He's making progress just fine." Nurse Chapel said while watching Doctor McCoy and Doctor Digby make the final checks on the mind probe.

It wasn't really some kind of probe, more like some kind of freaky technology from the stone ages. She watched as Digby wiped down the large table Jim was expected to lay on while McCoy was checking the angles of the lasers.

"You're right, he is making some amazing progress. However we can't be sure what Spock is doing will result in a permeant change. For all we know he could be back out on the ship and have a huge slip up. Who knows how that could end for us all, he could put us in some serious danger. As much as I hate the thought of Jim going through this… it has to be done." McCoy explained, taking notes on an electric clipboard ready for his medical report.

"He would never put us in danger." Nurse Chapel replied as she reached up and held her necklace tightly. She always wore a locket with her parent's photo in and kept it on a loose chain. She liked having her family close to her heart.

"No, he wouldn't. But if the shear mention of his name causes him this much pain… well its just not worth thinking about. He would do anything to get out of it." McCoy said, looking back to the machine.

"Well. How does it work? It doesn't look safe." She asked, moving closer to the head of the machine.

McCoy looked up and smiled at her curiosity. "Basically, Jim will lay down on this table then this part of the machine will move over the top of his head." He explained. The top part of the machine was like a dome, with five different spikes. "Each spike will have to be gently inserted into Jim's head. Two each side and one at the front. They won't go in much, just enough for the laser inside to reach past his skull."

Nurse Chapel turned pale. "You're going to stick them into his head?"

"That's why it's important that we put him under some pretty heavy sedation." McCoy continued. "The lasers will fire into different parts of Jim's head. Luckily we already know which parts of his head are affected so it shouldn't take long to isolate the damage done. However, there's always that risk that it could all go wrong."

"Does he know what you're going to do?" She asked. Looking closely at one of the spikes.

"No. He can't get stressed. The more stressed he is, the higher the risks." McCoy said, looking at her seriously.

"I understand, sir." She said, gulping down the small amount of bile which was rising in her throat.

"Can you go and wake the patient please, Nurse?" Digby asked. "I need to assess him before the procedure.

Nurse Chapel just nodded back at her request, not finding the words to use in the situation. She was starting to wonder if she could cope with the pressure of being Doctor McCoy's number one.

* * *

Jim rubbed his one good eye, the swelling from his fractured eye socket was now minimal but one hell of a black eye was forming. "What time is it?" he asked with a yawn. "I don't even remember falling asleep."

Nurse Chapel just smiled. "Its 1300 hours, sir. Do you remember what we have planned later this afternoon?"

"The treatment to help me remember words." Jim said, he wanted to stretch but the bruises and aches in his body wouldn't allow it. "Could I have something to drink?"

"I'm sorry, sir. But you are nil by mouth until after the treatment. I could get you some ice chips to suck if you like?" Nurse Chapel informed him.

"Ice chips it is then" Jim said cheerfully allowing the bed to sit him up at more of an angle.

Nurse Chapel filled up a small plastic cup with ice chips for her captain and placed them on the bed's table. Wheeling it closer to the captain so he could reach it easier.

"Here you go, Captain." She said. "Do you know that Dr. Digby is coming to see you before your treatment starts?"

"Well I do now, why does she need to see me? Bones is my doctor." Jim said, picking up an ice cube and placing it on his tongue.

Nurse Chapel walked around the bed and tucked in the loosened blankets around his body. "She's only going to ask you some questions. Nothing to worry about."

"She's going to send me back to that place isn't she." Panic hit Jim's chest hard. He could feel his heart beat getting stronger in his chest. "I don't want to go back there. Bones is my doctor. I don't like it there. Please don't send me back."

Jim's bed monitor started flashing red, luckily nurse Chapel had silenced it from when she had left him last night with Pike.

"Nobody is saying that, sir." She said, instantly grabbing his hand for comfort.

"Calm down, man!" McCoy said, charging from another part of the med bay. "What happened?" he asked Nurse Chapel, who was still squeezing his hand.

Tears were already filling Jim's eyes and dripping down his face, causing the smaller cuts and grazes to sting. "I don't wanna go back."

"Back where?" McCoy looked confused.

"There." Nurse Chapel said, already understanding what the doctor didn't.

Finally it clicked for McCoy, thanks to some serious gazes from Nurse Chapel. "Why would we send you back there?" he said, cocking his eyebrow up.

"You'll think I'm crazy." Jim said, sniffing.

McCoy gave half a smile. "We already know you're crazy. But that's why we love you."

Jim smiled for what felt like the first time in forever and his heart rate started to calm down.

"Do you want me to stay here with you when Dr. Digby comes? You don't have to answer anything you don't want to." He asked.

Jim rubbed his good eye, nodding slowly. "I think I'd like that."

* * *

Jim didn't know how pretty Dr. Digby was before and could feel himself blushing when she joined them in one of the private medical bay conference rooms. It was more like an office than a conference room, but Jim was just happy to be out of bed again. He much preferred sitting right up in a chair anyway.

"Hello, Captain. I am Dr. Josephine Digby, but you can call me Josie if you like." She started. Placing her electronic clipboard on the table along with a small recording device. "I hope you don't mind, but I have to record our little meeting today, don't worry it's only for my reference."

McCoy folded his arms and scowled. He knew it was more for Jim's record than her. He placed his PADD on the table also, bringing up Jim's vitals on his screen just to keep an eye on them.

"Ok Josie." Jim said, not really knowing what else to say.

"Have you got any questions for me before we start?" She asked, fiddling with the pencil in her hand.

Jim looked at McCoy, he had lots of questions but maybe not ones he should be asking a psychologist.

"It's ok, you're safe to ask any questions you have here." McCoy said softly to reassure him.

Jim gulped down the forming saliva in his mouth. "Will I ever be me again?" he almost whispered.

Josie smiled. "That's why we are here, to help you be you again."

Jim smiled back at her and nodded his head for her to continue with her examination.

"Now, Captain, how do you feel?" she asked, pencil at the ready to write down some examples of what he said.

"I feel fine. A little hungry, but I'm not allowed to eat until later." He said confidently.

"Do you know what's going to happen later?" Josie asked, not expecting that answer.

"I'm going to have some treatment that means I'll be able to remember again." Jim continued, his confidence growing.

"And from this whole experience, can you tell me what you remember?" She quizzed, tapping her notepad with her pencil.

"Penny." Jim didn't even need to think about that. He remembered the woman he felt safe with easily.

"Was that the doctor who cared for you in the hospital?" Josie clearly wrote the name down.

"Yes, I didn't like that hospital." Jim said, shuddering at the thought of being there.

"Why not?" She dipped her glasses down her nose, looking over them.

Jim took a deep breath as the haunting memories filled his mind. "They porters would hurt me. I didn't feel safe there. I would look up at the sky and feel like something was missing."

"And who helped you remember?" she already knew this answer, but she needed to make sure Jim did too.

Jim smiled as he remembered. "Spock. He placed his fingers on my face and suddenly it all came into light."

"What did?" Josie asked, wondering how the mind meld could help him remember.

"I remembered my ship. My home. My friends… my family." Jim quickly turned his head to McCoy. "My crew?"

McCoy nodded back at him, "Yes, your crew are your friends and you often referred to them as your family."

"Can you remember who you're crew are?" Josie interrupted, glaring at McCoy for interfering.

Jim thought hard, squeezing his eyes tightly to help him concentrate. "Spock…Bones… Uhura…. Sulu… Scotty… Ch… Ch…" Jim opened his eyes again. "Not all of them." He said, looking deflated.

"It's ok, remember we are here to help you remember who they are." McCoy said ignoring the look he was receiving from Josie by keeping a closer eye on Jim's vitals. All the remembering he was having to do was making his pain factor start to fluctuate and if it didn't stop soon he would have to intervene.

"Why can't I remember?" Jim asked, not knowing how he even got to be like this in the first place.

McCoy continued, feeling that this was more a medical answer that needed answering. "Well, do you remember how you got to the hospital with Penny?"

Jim squeezed his eyes sight again, causing the fractured eye socket to start throbbing again. "I can't."

"Can you remember Zander VI?" Josie asked, looking through her previous notes.

"The planet with Lizard people? Yeah I do. We went there on a mission to drop medical supplies off." Jim said confidently.

"What do you remember about that mission?" Josie asked before McCoy could push his way in again.

"It was hot, Bones didn't wanna go, and they were incredibly grateful that we came to their aid."

Jim looked over to Bones, who was now sharing his scowl with Jim for sharing how he didn't want to go.

"What else?" Josie pressed for answers.

"Well, I don't know. It kinda goes blank after that." Jim said, feeling pressured to give the right answers… even though he didn't know what the right answers were.

"Ok, what do you remember before the mission?" She kept pressing, not noticing the pressure it was putting on Jim.

"Well we were…" he looked over to Bones, he couldn't remember as much as he first thought.

"What about Starfleet, what do you remember about them?" She interrupted, not giving him a chance to think.

"I remember Christopher Pike. He got me to join Starfleet." He smiled proudly, he knew this answer. After all they had discussed it most of the morning.

Josie quickly wrote down his answer, while quizzing him further "Anything else? What about your academy years?" she didn't even look up from her notepad.

"I went to an academy?" Jim was confused, he really couldn't remember most of his life in Starfleet.

Josie looked up from her note pad. "Do you remember how you met Doctor McCoy?" she asked, gesturing towards the man sitting next to him.

Jim looked over to Bones before answering. "He threw up on me. It kinda went from there."

McCoy smiled back at him. "Hey you got your own back a few years later!"

"I did?" Jim was confused again, surely he would remember something like that.

"Don't you remember? It's a good story." McCoy almost laughed.

"I… cant." Jim dipped his head, all these memories he should remember and he didn't have a clue… it was turning quite depressing.

"It doesn't matter, I'll save it for another time." McCoy said, watching Jim's vitals again.

"Ok Captain, I think I can work out what parts of your memory are affected. It looks like it's a good mixture of both long and short term. Now… I just have to find out what your trigger words are." Josie said, writing more notes.

McCoy's hairs rose on the back of his neck. "No way!" He slammed his hands down on the table. "You know how much pain that puts him through!"

"Look, Doctor. We know his name triggers it – but what else? How are we going to find out if the treatment works if we don't try out some buzz words now?!" she argued back, completely ignoring Jim sitting across the table from her.

"You're a psycho! You're going to put him through all that pain now? Cant it wait till later?" McCoy didn't realise how much was shouting till he noticed the slight echo in the room.

"What's going on?" Jim asked without shouting.

"It's ok, kid. She just wants to put you through pain for no reason." McCoy said calming down.

"But, it'll help me remember." Jim said, not understanding what was going on fully.

"No, it will cause you all that pain. I'm not allowing it." McCoy snarled at Josie's direction.

"But I want the treatment to work. It'll be worth it." Jim said, piping up.

"You're happy to go through with this mad plan?" McCoy's anger suddenly fell flat. Jim's innocence struck McCoy's heart strings.

"I am. I can't remember my own crews names, what kind of a captain does that make me?" Jim continued.

"Doctor, if you refuse I will have you removed. He has consented." Josie spat towards McCoy.

"Like hell I'm leaving." He looked at Jim and back at Josie again… "Fine. Go ahead with your crazy plan but when I say stop – you stop." He spat at Josie before looking down at Jim, who was still sat in his chair. "You don't have to do this."

"I'm ready." Jim nodded, his fiery spirt and head strong attitude flashed in his eyes.

"What's your name?" Josie asked, raising her voice.

"Captain… J-J-" The pain was starting to fizz in Jim's head. He knew what he had to say but he couldn't say it.

"JAMES T KIRK." Josie shouted. "SAY IT NOW – JAMES T KIRK!"

The pain seared through Jim's skull. The shear burning pain spread through his head as he grabbed hold of his head and screamed out in pain.

"JIM" Josie continued to shout.

The pain spread like wild fire, causing the two scars either side of Jim's head to glow red.

Jim's vitals were off the charts. "You need to stop now!" McCoy called out. "It's hurting him too much!"

Josie ignored McCoy. "Jim! Fight this! Fight what the Klingons have done to you!"

Jim continued to scream out in agony. Collapsing off his chair and lolling around the floor clutching at his hair.

"STOP NOW." McCoy said, rising off his chair to be next to Jim on the floor.

"JAMES T KIRK – STARFLEETS POSTER BOY." She continued, her voice getting louder.

"What the hell is going on?!" Nobody even heard Pike enter the room.

"Get her out now and get me Nurse Chapel!" McCoy shouted over her taunts.

Pike grabbed hold of Josie and pulled her arms behind her back as he forced her to leave the room.

Jim's screams of pains continued even after the taunting had stopped.

For once in his life, McCoy had no idea what to do, he watched as Jim curled up in a ball and sobbed to himself. "Make it stop, make it stop... please make it stop." He sobbed.

"It's over, you're ok." McCoy soothed him, placing a hand through Jim's hair.

Jim flinched at the touch, keeping his eyes squeezed shut tight as tears leaked through them.

Nurse Chapel stepped into the room, the whooshing noise from the doors was a welcomed sound. "What happened?!" she asked, passing McCoy a bag with his emergency stash of pain meds.

"We shouldn't have trust her. Starfleet's finest, yeah sure." He grumbled, taking his bag from her and grabbing the hypospray out from it. "I'll explain later. Right now, we need to get Jim back to the med bay."

McCoy swiftly jabbed Jim in the neck with a stimulant that would instantly calm him down and a pain med for the pains in his head. Together they picked a very limp Jim up and put him back in the chair he fell from.

"I think we need a meeting with the admirals." He said, pushing the chair back to Jim's bed.


	19. Chapter 19

_**Authors Note:  
**_

 _I have literally had the hardest week at work. It was extremely physical stuff and I ache all over! Not to mention I worked double shifts everyday. I'm so glad its all over. What made me smile was the fact I've had atleast 3 new followers/favourites a day. Thank you all! You made my night shift that more bearable.  
Not my favourite of chapters, however I tried. Again a lot of speech in this, so I hope it comes up on your devices ok._

 _Chapter twenty should be up soon! I'm already writing it!_

* * *

 **Chapter Nineteen**

"I thought you had a security lock on this situation? It doesn't seem that way to me." McCoy was still raging from Josephine Digby's outburst earlier. He was lucky enough to secure a meeting with Admiral Archer and Admiral Pike was in tow to support his evidence. Even Spock attended to fight his case and he didn't even witness it, he said he could hear Jim's screams of agony from his quarters thanks to his advanced Vulcan hearing.

"Everybody on this base has security clearance to be here. We had no reason to believe that she was a threat to Jim or anybody else." Admiral Archer defended his actions.

"She didn't stop." McCoy said, feeling guilty for letting Jim agree to it in the first place.

"But he did consent." Archer continued to defend himself.

McCoy could feel his blood boil. "Consent or not, we all know Jim isn't exactly fit for making decisions! I shouldn't have let him."

"Does this affect his ongoing treatment?" Archer asked, quickly moving on.

"He should be taking it easy for the next 48 hours, but that's just time we don't have. Every hour we leave this is another hour we lose restoring his mind." McCoy explained, taking a deep breath to calm down.

"I have calculated that the Captain has approximately 42 hours left, before the mind sifter technology corrupts his mind. After that happens, the mind probe will have no effect." Spock interjected.

McCoy turned to Spock, the anger building again. "How the hell have you calculated that?"

"I have been inside the Captain's mind. I have seen the affects it is having on his inner self and his mind. His memories are fading and he remembers less of his past each day. By simply-" He started to explain his method.

McCoy soon stopped him, regretting even asking the question in the first place. "We get it Spock. You've seen the damage it's caused."

"It is logical to continue to with the Captain's treatment this afternoon as planned." Spock concluded.

"And how are you after last time?" Archer asked, having found out about the mind meld they previously tried.

"I am fully rested and in perfect mental and physical health." Spock said.

"Then its set. You must continue with the treatment as planned this afternoon." Archer said, slamming a fist on the table. "We need him back to us."

"But if the mind is stressed the probe will be less affected, wont it?" Pike asked worried about his friend.

"That is correct, Sir. However I should be able to counter the effects of the stress." Spock said before McCoy get a word in.

"Should? What if you can't?" McCoy asked. "We should really wait."

"Then the captain will require further mind probe treatments."

"This is ridiculous. We shouldn't even be in this situation."

"I will tighten the security. The only people permitted in the med bay will be Nurse Chapel and yourselves."

"What about Admiral Francesco?" Pike asked, noticing his absence from the room.

Archer took a deep breath before realising it slowly. "Admiral Francesco has been escorted off the Base along with Dr. Digby."

"Don't tell me they were in this together." McCoy said, making his fingers form a tight fist as his stress levels rose.

"Until a formal investigation has taken place I am unable to comment. However things will be made clear to Captain Kirk as he is the one that suffered for it." Archer explained, wiping the sweat from his brow with a cloth.

McCoy could feel the rage building inside him further, he needed to escape the tiny conference room. "Excuse me I need to go to Jim."

"You are all dismissed." Archer said, with a sigh of relief. "Oh and McCoy, I would like medical reports of ALL treatments Captain Kirk receives now." He added, while raising his hand and showing three fingers to imitate a Vulcan Mind Meld.

* * *

Jim was curled up tight on his bed, cradling himself with his knees tucked up to his chest and his arms wrapped around them. It broke McCoy's heart seeing his, usually incredibly head strong, captain so broken. Nurse Chapel, who was sat next to him, saw McCoy walking towards them and rose to her feet to greet him.

"How is he?" McCoy whispered to Nurse Chapel, looking over at his friend.

"He's not spoken a word since you left. How did the meeting go?" She whispered back.

"The only good that came out of it was the increased security." He mumbled to her, rolling his eyes.

"What happened?" She asked she didn't dare ask when Jim was rushed back into the med bay after the meeting, she could see how angry McCoy was just looking at the throbbing veins in his head and neck.

"That, so called Doctor, Digby is a psycho. That's what." He said, folding his arms. "But the damn admiral wants to continue with Jim's treatment as planned, it's been pushed back until 1800 hours."

It didn't take Jim long to realise they were talking about him. He could even hear their whispers now the med bay was empty for everyone apart from him. He looked over his shoulder, catching McCoy's attention.

"How are you doing, kid?" McCoy asked as he picked up the electronic clipboard on the end of his bed, looking over briefly for any changes in his vitals while he was gone.

"I shouldn't have agreed to her doing it." Jim whispered. Looking forwards past McCoy at the empty med bay. He didn't even have the courage to look him in the eye and face the disappointed look.

"How were you to know she would go all crazy on you?" McCoy said, attempting to calm Jim down a little, watching his pulse rise.

"It hurt, Bones. It really hurt." Jim whimpered, hot tears forming in his eyes.

"I'm sure it did…" McCoy placed a warm hand on Jim's bicep. "How do you feel now?" he asked, attempting to change the subject.

"Tired, achy… my eye really hurts. Did I hit it… you know… earlier." Jim rolled his eyes a little, not wanted to mention the situation he was in earlier, especially the lolling around on the floor screaming in pain part.

"You don't remember?" McCoy looked up from the clipboard, even though Jim still wasn't making eye contact with him.

"Not really." Jim shrugged.

"Look at me." McCoy pretty much demanded, watching the captains eyes glaze over as he continued to stare out into the empty med bay. "This is important." He said, noticing Jim wasn't paying a single bit of attention to him. He threw the electronic clipboard down on the bed and grasped Jim's head in his own hands, "What do you remember?"

"Not much if I'm honest." Jim didn't see the issue of him not looking at him. He retracted his head away out of McCoy's hands. "I must have really hit my head hard." He said innocently.

McCoy looked around the med bay for Nurse Chapel and gestured her over to Jim's side. He needed another pair of ears to hear what Jim was saying. "What did you have for breakfast today?"

"You made me eat that nasty porridge." Jim said, scrunching his face up. He didn't even notice he was being interrogated.

"Good, that's right. Who came visited you the other day?" McCoy continued with the questions.

Jim stared blankly before a confused look brushed over his face. "I had visitors?"

"It doesn't matter." McCoy squeezed his arm to reassure him and used his best cover up face, although he couldn't help but worry. "I brought you this." He said, pulling out Jim's music player from his pocket. "Do you remember this?"

"Kinda… I know I like it." Jim smiled, reaching his hands out to hold it.

"See if you can remember how to use it." McCoy smiled back. Clearly his memory was trying to work, but it just wasn't connecting up.

"Sure." Jim took hold of the player and stuck the small buds in each of his ears. He wasn't quite sure what he was doing, but somehow turning the small device on came naturally to him. It wasn't long until the music played and he was listening to every word they music said. "I like this!" he shouted, not realising how loud he had the music player.

McCoy just rolled his eyes back at him before he turned his back from Jim and spoke to nurse Chapel. "Did you notice his memory getting worse?"

"He can't remember Commander Spock coming to visit him, can he?" Nurse Chapel shared her worried look with her boss.

"No. It's giving me a reason to be concerned. Looks like we the rapid excel of memory loss we won't have 42 hours after all." McCoy placed his hands at the back of head. They were running out of time and he didn't like it.

"42 hours, Sir?" Nurse Chapel looked confused.

"That's how long Spock calculated the cut off point for returning his memory… get Spock here now, we are going to have to start the treatment now… before he doesn't come back to us." McCoy ordered.


	20. Chapter 20

_**Authors Note:**_ _  
Just a little update this time, I'm starting to notice that I'm adding more and more conversation. I hope this story is still following and you don't think I'm waffling too much. When I think of Jim Kirk I like to think he would ask all the questions under the sun. Especially when he's lost some memory. He always likes to be in control. Right now, in this story, he is losing control._

 _Thank you to all my new followers! Once again there has been at least one new person following everyday since my last update. Wow! I love receiving the emails letting me know if someone has started to follow this. Its inspiring. Please let me know what you think! I'm itching to know. Thank You, Thank You, Thank You!_

* * *

 **Chapter Twenty**

"You ready?" McCoy asked, trying his best not to show his obvious nerves.

"As I'll ever be." Jim sighed. "Do I really have to be put back to sleep for this? I don't like those…things."

"My hypospray?" McCoy asked, waving it in front of Jim.

"Yeah that. It pinches." He explain holding his neck.

"Trust me, kid. You don't wanna be awake for this." McCoy said. "Let's get you into the chair and then I'll explain everything that's going to happen, Okay?" He quickly added.

Jim managed to swing his legs round off his bed easily with only a touch of dizziness overcoming his eyesight. McCoy went to place an arm around him to support his body, but Jim pushed him away.

"Let me try." Jim practically ordered.

McCoy held his hands up in support of his idea, he admired Jim for wanting to try and stand by himself again so soon. "Go ahead. I'll be right here."

Jim took a deep breath, releasing it loudly as he mentally prepared himself for, what he thought, was a hard physical challenge. He slid off the bed slowly, allowing his bare feet to touch the cold metal floor. His knees were weak but his body frame was clearly thinner than before. His legs shook as they supported his weight properly for the first time since returning back to the Enterprise.

"I knew I could do it." Jim said through gritted teeth.

"I'm impressed." McCoy said folding his arms. "Why don't you walk to the chair yourself?" he teased, pushing the chair a couple of steps away.

Jim smirked. "How about I walk all the way to the treatment room?" he said, keeping his body tensed as he focused.

"One step at a time." McCoy said, moving to stand next to Jim in case he wobbled too much.

Jim slowly lifted his foot and took a small step. He swallowed the building salvia in his mouth, down his throat quickly as the other foot followed.

"That's one, good job." McCoy said, watching Jim's vitals move up and down on the PADD he had to hand. "Do you want to stop?"

"No" Jim whispered, looking down at his feet. He moved them both shakily forwards and managed another smaller step. "That's…two." He said, running out of breath.

"Now you sit." McCoy ordered. Swinging the chair behind him and lowering him in the seat.

Jim took another deep breath, his legs and knees welcoming the rest already. "What's… wrong… with me?" he said, panting for breath.

"Take it easy." McCoy ordered, patting the top of his shoulder. "You've been through a lot. Your body is just exhausted. Don't worry – you'll soon be back to your normal self with plenty of rest."

"Not soon enough." Jim managed with one breath.

McCoy squeezed the handles on the chair as a pang of empathy hit him. "Spock is waiting for us." He said, wanting to change the subject and brighten Jim's mood. "You've not seen in for a couple of days now."

"Yeah…" Jim wanted to remember seeing him, but he just couldn't. Everything in his past was fading black. The only real reason he could remember Bones, Chapel and Pike was because they spent the most time with him. He wish he could understand why he could remember these people, he knew their faces and their names… yet he had no memory of them. Just thinking about it made his headache brew.

"You don't remember, do you?" McCoy noticed Jim fiddling with his fingers, a clear sign he was worried or over thinking about something.

"Not really." Jim muttered.

"Don't worry – he won't take it personally. He understands what's going on in that head of yours better than I do." McCoy didn't want to admit that, especially with Vulcan ears probably listening in on the conversation, but he did. Just to put Jim at ease.

Jim didn't say a word and continued to fiddle with his fingers nervously as they entered the treatment room, luckily for Jim it wasn't that far from his bed he had grown so attached to, with it being just across the empty med bay.

"Where is everyone else?" He asked, looking at the empty beds.

"The Starbase is practically empty, kid. People only come here for treatment that their sickbay can't handle on their own ship." McCoy explained.

Jim's eyes soon caught the attention of the machine that was meant for him. Not that it was hard to miss being the middle of the medium sized treatment room. He couldn't help but stare at the intrusive machinery. "Please tell me that's not for me."

"I wish I could, kid. I really do." McCoy said, squeezing his shoulder again.

"Can I change my mind?" Jim asked, being completely serious.

"Hopefully." McCoy replied, not releasing Jim wasn't joking.

"That's not what I meant." He said, looking up at McCoy who was still stood behind him.

"Well, you don't have to do anything you don't want to. How about we take one step at a time?" McCoy said, looking him in the eyes.

"Okay." Jim said, fiddling with his fingers nervously again.

McCoy held a hand out to Jim, "Come and take a closer look." He instructed.

Jim placed both his hands on the side of the chair and slowly pushed his weak body up out of the chair. "That was easier." He said, realising his knees were shaking less than before.

Together they slowly took small steps closer to the mind probe until Jim could lean on the table comfortably.

"Let me know if you need to sit." McCoy said, noticing the shine of sweat on Jim's forehead.

"I'll be fine." Jim replied, shifting his weight slightly.

"So all that will happen is; you'll lay on this table. I'll sedate you and then that's your job done. You just need to relax as much as possible." McCoy grinned.

"And what do you plan to do with me while I'm asleep?" Jim said, holding his breath to concentrate.

"Sit down before you fall down." McCoy ordered, grabbing Jim's arm and helping him shift up onto the table. "When you're asleep, then we will move this part of the table over the top of your head." He continued to explain as he moved the dome forwards a little.

"The bit with the needles. Great." Jim rolled his eyes. "Where exactly will those be going?"

"Just remember you'll be completely asleep and won't feel a thing." McCoy said not wanting Jim to start panicking.

"This doesn't fill me with confidence." He grumbled.

McCoy rolled his eyes. "The five lasers will be injected 2mm into your head. Two on the left side, two on the right side and one in the middle of your forehead."

"You're sticking those… in my head." Jim stared at the laser spikes, now he knew he started to wish he didn't ask.

"It's the only way we can guarantee the laser hitting the infected parts of your brain." McCoy placed a hand on the bed he was resting on.

"What if it misses?" Jim couldn't take his eyes off the spikes.

"It won't." McCoy said confidently as he crossed his arms.

"What if it does?" He managed to take his eyes off the lasers and looked up at McCoy. His eyes were glazed over with fear.

McCoy sighed deeply and shuffled his feet." If it does – which it won't, then we could damage another part of your brain. Remember, Spock will be here performing a mind meld during the treatment. He will be able to ensure that all affected parts of your mind will be hit with the laser. This will reduce the chances of a laser missing its target considerably."

"What part?" Jim asked, ignoring the whole second part of McCoy's explanation.

"Any part. But you need to remember-" He started to explain but it was cut short.

"What does that mean?" Jim soon interrupted, not allowing him to explain again.

"Well… all sorts of things. Look, kid, I don't want to scare you with what could happen. There is a risk to this procedure, just like there is all treatments. But this is the only way to get you back to your normal self. And anyway, you shouldn't be worried. I've got the steadiest hands in Starfleet history." McCoy wanted Jim relaxed and was starting to wish he had lied to Jim, after all he was going to be asleep through the whole thing anyway.

Jim thought about it for a while, he would do anything to be back to his normal self and wanted to be able to see more of the beauty of space. It wasn't right being here. He belonged…somewhere else. He just didn't know where. Completing the treatment would help him understand where.

"What's the worst case scenario?"

"Worst case, the treatment fails." McCoy said without bending the truth, even though he wanted to.

"And what does that mean?" Jim moved his eyes back onto the needles.

McCoy took another deep sigh, he didn't want to tell Jim but he knew he had to. "You could lose your sanity."

"What if I refuse treatment?" Jim frowned.

"You will lose your sanity and all the memories you still have intact. You will soon forget everyone and everything around you. You'll lose your ship, your crew and give it long enough and you won't remember me either." McCoy explained, the guilt hitting him hard as he saw Jim's whole world crumble.

Jim's frown instantly dropped. "I really don't have a choice, do I?"

McCoy squeezed his arms. "Not really, no."

"Well, we better get this over with then." Jim said, swinging his legs round to the top of the table. "You could have made this table a little more comfortable." He said, attempting to lighten the mood.

McCoy smiled. "I'll bare that in mind."

"When will… Umm…" he thought hard, he knew he was searching for a name but just couldn't remember what it was.

McCoy notice him struggling. "Nurse Chapel?"

"No… the other one… the umm…" Jim wanted to explain who he meant but his memory was blank, he couldn't even remember what the person looked like.

"Spock?" McCoy questioned again, checking over his hypos.

"Yeah, Spock. When is he coming?" Jim asked, lowering his body into a laying position on the table.

"He should already be here." He replied continuing to check his equipment.

"I apologise, Doctor." Spock said walking through the treatment doors as if right on Que. "I was discussing today's treatment plan with Admiral Archer and Admiral Pike."

"As long as they don't interrupt." McCoy muttered.

"They are both awaiting your medical notes after the treatment. They will not enter the med bay until such a time you state." Spock said, placing his hands in the small of his back.

"Good." McCoy muttered again, refusing to look up from his PADD. "Remember Jim, the more relaxed you are the better." He mentioned to Jim after seeing his vitals. "You're BP is a little higher than I'd like. I can give you something if you'd like?"

"More pinchy things? No thanks." Jim said, reaching up and rubbing his neck with his hands.

"Try and relax." McCoy said, watching his changing vitals again.

"Easy for you to say. You aren't having needles stuck into your head in a minute!" Jim smirked.

"Doctor, may I suggest the musical device? Studies show that music is a good way for humans to relax." Spock said with a raised eyebrow.

"It's worth a shot. Would you like to try?" McCoy said, pulling Jim's music player out of his pocket.

"I wondered where that went!" Jim's eyes widened seeing his music player. "I like this." He said. Putting the ear buds in his ears.

"The fact he still remembers how to use it is incredible." McCoy whispered to Spock. "It's like it's all come back to him naturally. I'd love to see him out on the bridge if we had the time."

"Time is the one thing we do not have, doctor. We must begin the treatment now." Spock stated.

McCoy rolled his eyes and picked up the hypo with his sedative in. "You ready, kid?"

Jim didn't even notice the sharp pinch in his neck, he already had his eyes closed and was enjoying the sounds of the music drumming into his ears. His eye lids grew heavier almost instantly as his body sunk down into the table and the darkness overcame him. The sound of the music thinned out and he was at peace. Lost in his own mind.

* * *

McCoy pulled Jim's ear phones out of his ears. He looked over his captain, who looked peaceful for the first time in a while. "The sedation worked and looking at his vitals." He said, closing his PADD and setting it on the side. "I should be able to monitor him on these screens now." He tapped away at the computer console behind the bed. Luckily the treatment room they were using was usually meant for observation. So they had all the monitors set up ready for them. "Good call with the music. We couldn't have asked him to be more relaxed if we tried."

"It was a logical suggestion, Doctor." Spock replied, watching the doctor work.

"Nurse Chapel, we are ready to start. I could use your assistance in here." McCoy called out the door. He knew she would be hoovering waiting to be called in.

"Yes, Doctor." She replied walking straight in with a small brown bag for McCoy.

"Are those the Vulcan meds I asked for?" he asked her as she placed it on a small table by the door.

"They are, Sir." She said, pulling out a small bio scanner for Spock's wrist.

Spock saw the scanner and raised an eyebrow again. "There is no need to monitor me, Doctor."

"After last time I won't risk it. This way nurse Chapel and I can keep an eye on both of you." He said, clipping the scanner around Spock's wrist.

"If you insist." Spock said. "Are you prepared for the first stage of the treatment?"

"Inserting laser number one now." McCoy said, standing at the head on the bed tapping away on the console.

The small dome moved over Jim's head and slowly one by one each laser point pushed past his skin and made its way into his head. Small drops of blood escaped past each needle, causing them to drip down his head. Nurse Chapel was quick to wipe it away, not allowing the blood to dry on his skin.

"That's the last one." McCoy said. "Not a single spike in his vitals. So we are ready for you now Spock."

McCoy didn't realise straight away but his heart was beating hard in his chest. This was Jim's final chance of almost returning to normal and there was nothing more he wanted right now than to have his friend… his captain back.

Spock nodded to the doctor as he positioned himself by Jim's head. He carefully placed his fingers on each point and luckily there wasn't a laser in the way to stop him. He took a deep breath and composed himself.

 _My mind to your mind…_

 _My thoughts to your thoughts…_


	21. Chapter 21

**_Authors Note:_** **  
** _Sorry for the delayed update! I've been crazy at work and I just wanted to rest on my days off. I'm now off for a whole week and I'm hoping to get this near completion. Fingers crossed! Just a little update for now, the rest is coming!_

* * *

 **Chapter Twenty-One**

 _"_ _My mind to your mind…_

 _My thoughts to your thoughts…_

 _Let me feel your thoughts._

 _Let me explore your mind._

 _Let me protect you."_

 _"_ _Stop. Who is that? How did you…"_

 _Jim's voice echoed around him._

 _Spock looked around Jim's mind. It seemed different from before._

 _The darkness was more apparent, memories were harder to find and many had already faded away._

 _Jim's inner self kept his back to Spock._

 _"_ _I am here to help you. Search my mind. Remember who I am."_

 _Jim kept his back to Spock as the darkness surrounded them closer._

 _"_ _I can't remember who you are. I can't remember… anything."_

 _"_ _Captain. Look at me. Let me show you, I shall teach you how to remember who you are."_

 _Spock continued._

 _"_ _I… I can't. You'll hurt me. You'll hurt me like the others did."_

 _Jim's inner self started to turn, showing himself to Spock._

 _Spock almost took a step back when he saw Jim. His inner self was fading. Half of his face was plain and completely missing, much like his memories._

 _"_ _How can you help me? Look at me. I can't even remember my own name. I don't know who I am."_

 _"_ _You are a Captain of the Star ship Enterprise. Together we will remember."_

 _Spock continued, looking at the faded man before him._

 _Jim suddenly grasped his head, covering his ears to block out a screeching sound drumming into him._

 _"_ _What is that noise?"_

 _"_ _It is of highest importance that you remain calm, captain. The doctor is helping you remember."  
Spock spoke calmly, moving closer to the man in front of him._

 _"_ _It hurts. What are you doing to me?"_

 _Jim took a defensive step back, assuming it was Spock hurting him._

 _Spock noticed Jim's uncomfortable body language. "It will stop soon. Let your memories return."_

 _"_ _Make it stop!" Jim grasped his head tightly, squeezing his hands on his head to relive the pressure without much luck. "What is he doing to me?"_

 _"_ _The doctor is using lasers to erase the damage on your mind."_

 _"_ _Make it stop. Please, Spock, make it stop."_

 _Squeezed his head tighter._

 _Spock raised his eyebrow, "You remembered who I am. The treatment is working."_

 _"_ _But it hurts. I can't do this Spock, I just can't." Hot tears started to fill Jim's closed eyes as panic began to set in._

 _"_ _Tell me more of what you remember." Spock continued calmly, watching his friend in pain._

 _Jim's inner self collapsed to his knees. "I… I don't know… Please, stop the pain. Make it go away. I can't do this."_

 _"_ _What is your name? Who are you?" Spock pressed, raising his voice slightly._

 _"_ _I am…" Jim wanted to scream it with all his might, the growing pressure building more and more in his head. "Captain… JAMES TIBEROUS KIRK" his eyes burst open as the rest of his face appeared. All the tension and pain building in his mind was finally released out of his body, thousands of memories flooded his mind once again._

 _"_ _Jim, look. You're memories are returning!" Spock raised his voice further so the weakened man in front of him could hear over his screams of pain._

 _Jim was unaffected by the use of his name for the first time. He looked around his mind as small flash backs of his memories returned._

 _"_ _I can remember… but it still… it still hurts."_

 _"_ _That will stop when the Doctor is finished. Your mind is healing, your memories are returning. It is time I leave now, Jim. You must repair the rest of your mind on your own." Spock took a step back as Jim's memories started to flood his own mind, it was hard to stay connected as they returned but he couldn't admit that to Jim, in case he refused the memories._

 _"_ _Wait…" Jim's inner self reached out for Spock, wanting nothing more than to keep him with him, he made Jim safe, it made the pain better. He brought Jim's memories back. "I can't do this without you."_

 _"_ _Jim, you are stronger than you believe. Your memories will return and show you that. There is nothing more I can do until after your mind has healed itself." Spock could feel the bond weakening further._

 _"_ _So I guess I see you on the other side then?" Jim said, as memories surrounded him further._

 _"_ _It is good to see you becoming well again, Jim." Spock said, fading out of Jim's mind for the last time._

* * *

"Spock, what happened in there?" McCoy noticed Spock's almost instant return out of Jim's mind as his eyes snapped open.

"The captain was in a lot of pain. His mind will need time to recover from its ordeal." Spock said, rising up to his feet and composing himself. He felt physically weakened but it didn't show.

"That's not what I meant and you know it!" McCoy said, folding his arms. He didn't know Vulcan's understood how to tease. "Did it work? Do we have our Jim back?"

"It may take him some time, but yes Doctor. I believe the treatment worked. The captain seemed physically unharmed and in good spirits when I left him. However – his memories will take time to return. I suggest –" Spock started to explain.

"That's all I needed to hear." McCoy breathed a sigh of relief for the first time in a while. "Did you say his name? Does it hurt him?"

"The Captain was unaffected by the use of his name." Spock said, placing the hands in the small of his back. It was clear the doctor didn't want to know all the ins and outs of what happened yet.

McCoy smiled. "Thank you Spock." It wasn't normal for McCoy to show sincere gratitude towards Spock but for once in his life he could finally admit that he really couldn't have done this without the Vulcan's help.

"The choice was logical, Doctor. The captain still has some recovering to do, but I shall return when he wakes." Spock said, unfazed by the thanks he received. "For now I must take leave to meditate."

"I'll comm you when he's ready for visitors." McCoy said as Spock turned to take leave. He couldn't wipe the smile off his face. "Let's take those damn needles out his skull now." He ordered Nurse Chapel.

"Doctor – his pain factor is rising further." Nurse Chapel spoke up quickly before McCoy could touch the mind probes control panel.

"It could be the sedation wearing off, give him another shot quickly. We can't have him waking up with all this in his head. The freak out won't be worth the hassle." He said, not thinking anything of it.

She quickly followed her orders and jabbed Jim in the neck with more sedative, keeping her eyes Jim's vitals.

"No affect, Sir."

Suddenly panic hit him but he refused to let it affect him. "Don't do this to me now, Jim, God dammit! This kid doesn't like to make things easy for me does he?" McCoy snarled, grabbing his tricorder and completing a quick full body scan.

McCoy could feel his heart drop when he saw the results. "Looks like one of the lasers has managed to go a little further in that I would have liked and Jim's brain doesn't like it. We need to remove them now." McCoy said, throwing the tricorder on the side to access the computer screen.

"Could it have caused any damage?" Nurse Chapel asked, looking worried.

"We won't know until the lasers out and Jim's awake." He said, tapping the order into the computer faster than he knew he could. "Apply pressure gauze as soon as they start to retract. Looks like its the upper left laser causing the issues."

Nurse Chapel nodded, grabbing the gauze quickly.

"Here we go…" he said, tapping the final eject button.

All five lasers began to retract and Nurse Chapel quickly applied the gauze to each small hole left in Jim's head. It didn't take long for alarms to start flooding the room.

McCoy grabbed the emergency meds out the bag Nurse Chapel brought in earlier. He quickly injected them one by one to stem any extra bleeding going on in his head. Slowly Jim's vitals started to lower enough to quiet the alarms.

McCoy took a deep breath. "And now we wait…"


	22. Chapter 22

**_Authors_** ** _Note:_**

 _More updates! I hope you enjoy this one. I'm really getting into exploring Pike more. I like to think that he sees himself as Kirk's fatherly role model. Its a shame they killed him off in the second movie. I would have loved to have seen him in Beyond. Anyway! He's alive in my story and ready to kick some butt to defend Jim.  
Hopefully another update tomorrow :)_  
 _Let me know what you think - but please remember I have zero confidence when it comes to Spock. He is my writing wall and he features quite a bit in this story... I don't make things easy for myself._

 _Thank You to all my new followers :)_

* * *

 **Chapter Twenty-Two**

McCoy watched over Jim closely. The haunting emptiness of Sick bay sent a slight chill down his spine. He hated it when it was this quiet… I mean he liked it when it was quiet… but this was too quiet. The only noise that accompanied him was the gentle beeping from Jim's heart monitor and the shallow breaths the man was taking. He had sent Nurse Chapel to fetch Admiral Pike so he could update him on how the treatment went.

"Computer, start recording:" He said into his handy medical PADD. Since being on the Star base most of the PADDs were upgraded, including his, allowing him to update his medical notes on Jim a lot easier. " _Star Date:_ _69._ _94.20.9_ _–_ _Patient: Kirk, Captain, James T. As previously noted, the patient received the mind probe treatment with the assistance from Commander Spock. Stages one and two of the treatment were completed without issue. Commander Spock was positive his mind meld was able to protect Captain Kirk from damage. However we will not know if this has any effect on him until he regains consciousness._

 _Stage three of the treatment caused a slight complication. The upper left laser spike impaled further than previously suggested. We estimated it was impaled by roughly 5mm, 3mm too much. The laser has caused a slight bleed on Captain Kirk's brain. With time, the patient should make a full recovery. However we will not know if this has had any effect on the captain's fine and gross motor skills as well as his speech and language skill._

 _All in all, the patient should not need further treatment from the mind probe, if Commander Spock's calculations are correct. This is positive news._

\- _CMO Doctor Leonard McCoy."_

"What's positive news?" Captain Pike's voice filled the room, causing McCoy to turn away from Jim quickly.

"Computer finish recording." He ordered. "It's good to see you again." McCoy held his hand out to shake with Pike, welcoming him back into sickbay.

"It's only been a few hours since the last time I saw you, doctor." Pike grinned, taking his hand and shaking it. "So this positive news – I hope that means what I think it means."

McCoy retracted his hand back, gripping onto his PADD. "As far as I know – the treatment worked. But that's just going on what Spock's told me. He's not awake yet, but I wanted you to know first."

"That's very thoughtful of you, McCoy. You don't seem as positive as I had assumed." Pike said, looking over to Jim's bio bed. The curtain was partially closed.

McCoy took a deep breath. "There was a complication."

"Oh?" Pike could now see why McCoy was acting so strange. He moved closed to Jim's bed, allowing him to see Jim for the first time since his treatment. His head was wrapped in thick pressure bandages allowing his blonde hair to tuft at the top. "I don't think he will appreciate the new hair style." Pike smiled.

"You know he will find something to complain about." McCoy said, smiling back.

"What was this complication then?" Pike dared to ask, watching over Jim. "Can we say his name yet?"

McCoy chose to ignore the first part of the question completely, focusing on the positive side as Pike had previously. "Spock believes so, yes. His memories are returning, slowly."

"That all sounds good to me. So what's the trouble?" Pike wouldn't drop it.

"One of the laser's went in his head further than I would have liked. Its caused a small bleed on his brain." McCoy almost muttered, passing Pike the PADD with the scan he took while Jim was on the probes table.

Pike cringed at the image of Jim's head. "Will it cause any damage?"

"I don't know." McCoy answered honestly.

Pike handed back the PADD. "Can't Spock find out?"

McCoy shook his head. "Spock can only access Jim's mind. His memories. As far as I'm aware he can't access parts of Jim's brain to see if they are functioning. Anyway, that mind meld he performed during Jim's treatment practically drained him. He's still wearing the medical bracelet I clipped to him and his vitals are worse than Jim's right now. He's meditating – that's not something I will disturb unless it was a real emergency." He took a breath, looking down on Jim sleeping peacefully. "Besides – there's I can do for Jim right now. He needs to rest. I'm keeping him sedated until the bleeding in his brain stops. It's all up to him now."

"Have you sent your report to Star Fleet?" Pike asked as a panic filled his mind.

"Just sent it over. Are they on your case already?" McCoy almost laughed.

Pike didn't know what to say. Having to wait and find out if Jim was back to himself was exhausting in itself. He couldn't keep up with all these treatments Jim was having to receive and he knew it was going to be difficult to keep Star fleet on his side about Jim being able to return to captaincy.

"Was it faulty equipment that could have done this? Or human error?" he practically spat out.

"If you're trying to hint that I would have hurt Jim – you're wrong!" McCoy could feel the anger brewing up inside him. How could anyone accuse him of hurting Jim?

"It was the machine then? That mind probe?" Pike continued. He didn't want to blame McCoy for anything, especially after all the help he had given Jim.

"I believe so. Just one of those things… the laser didn't stop like it was supposed to." McCoy attempted to keep his cool.

Pike continued to spit the questions out, he knew this was bad. "and you can clarify this? With evidence?"

"If I look through the machines command requests – yes. But why do I need to justify myself?" McCoy was confused, he could see instantly Pike was worried about something.

"It's not me that needs to know. If you want Jim to be able to keep command of Enterprise I need to know that it wasn't human error that caused this. Look, Leonard, I want Jim to be back on that ship more than anyone. But there are people at Star fleet that think he's of more use to them back on Earth. As soon as they think he could possibly be brain damaged, questions will be asked."

"But we don't even know if he is or not!" McCoy's rage was building again, how could Starfleet just assume he was brain damaged without Jim having woken up yet?

"How many captains do you know of that have gone through a brain bleed?" Pike asked as he paced up and down the med bay.

"I can't say I…" McCoy muttered, following the Admirals steps.

"There aren't any. It's too much of a risk, even if no damage has occurred questions will be asked. You need to prepare Jim. They will want to talk to him." He said as he marched out the medbay.

McCoy stood and watched Pike leave, not having a clue as to how he was supposed to prepare Jim, didn't he just say he was keeping him sedated until the bleeding had stopped?

"Pft. Admirals and their silly ideas." 

* * *

Spock sat statue still in his private quarters. He had already turned the temperature of the room up as it was far too cold for him on the rest of the Star base, but he was still uncomfortable. He attempted to focus his thoughts, but struggled to concentrate in the cold room.

He opened his eyes slowly, looking around his unfamiliar setting. "Computer: raise room temperature 2 degrees." He ordered the computer.

The room slowly heated up, allowing him to feel more relaxed. His eyes slowly shut as he entered his state of meditation.

 _"_ _Spock…_

 _Spock… You found me."_

Spock's eyes almost burst open as the sound of the Captains voice entered his mind. "Intriguing." He said to himself. He closed his eyes again, entering his meditation state.

 _"_ _So how did the treatment go?" Jim whispered into Spocks mind casually._

 _"_ _You performed admirably, Sir. You are on the way to recovery. I trust your memories are continuing to return?" Spock wasn't worried by Jim being able to enter his own mind._

 _"_ _Yes they are. There is so much to remember… I've had quite a life." Jim continued to whisper, his voice was fading and was becoming harder to hear._

 _"_ _You have experienced much from your short years on Earth and in space, sir."_

 _"_ _Hey Spock, I have a question." Jim continued to whisper._

 _"_ _Then I shall try my best to answer it." Spock was quite amused by Jim's casual behaviour. It was much like how he was before._

 _"_ _How comes I can still communicate with you like this?" He asked._

 _"_ _I can only guess that we are still bonded from your previous meld. The affects will be temporary." Spock couldn't answer correctly as he didn't know the answer himself._

 _"_ _What about before? How did you find me?" Jims faded voice became harder to reach._

 _"_ _Your subconscious called out to me, sir. I can only assume it was from our previous mind melds." Spock answered._

 _"_ _Will we always be bonded like this?" Jim continued to press questions._

 _"_ _The Klingons Mind Sifter has caused damaged to your mind. The treatment you received corrected this however – it means your mind has to restart. It will soon become impossible for us to communicate like this without Melding." Spock explained._

 _"_ _Thank You, Spock." Jim said, fading further._

 _"_ _You are most welcome, Captain."_

* * *

"Admiral Pike. We have received Doctor McCoy's report and we have concerns." Admiral Forrest spoke through a communicator screen. Forrest was a much older man and the bags under his eyes showed it.

Pike had retreated back to his own private guest quarters and had made sure he was the first to reach Starfleet to inform them on the advances in Jim's health, annoyingly he was too late and they had already read McCoy's report.

"That is to be expected, sir. However I wish to express my concern about the Mind Probing Equipment." Pike replied back, speaking rationally.

"That equipment was thoroughly checked before it left Starfleet medical. I can't see how that could be cause for concern." Forrest said, defending the equipment despite not even seeing it himself.

"If you would allow me to explain…" Pike started, wanting to explain his findings.

"We do not have time for this, Admiral Pike. We wish to speak to Kirk." Forrest cut him short, looking around the room behind Pike. "I see you are not in the medical bay."

"I'm in my quarters. Jim is currently sedated and right now I'm the only one here that's able to defend him." He said, raising his voice a little.

"Defend him? What makes you think the young captain is in some sort of trouble?" Admiral Forrest almost laughed.

Pike sat tight lipped. He didn't want to answer as he knew he would be thrown off the Star base and away from Jim for becoming too involved. "I wish to start a formal investigation as to what happened to Captain Kirk."

"We already know, he was kidnapped by the Klingons. What else is there to investigate?" Forrest looked to someone who was sat next to him, Pike couldn't tell who it was as the video didn't show much of them.

"The fact his latest injury was not caused by human error is enough to investigate." He stubbornly continued.

"It may not have been human error, but that doesn't mean it was the machine either. You will have a hard time proving it was, admiral." Admiral Forrest frowned.

"I have time." Pike smirked. He had Forrest stuck in a difficult position.

"You may have time, but Jim does not. We expect to see him fully recovered and back on the Enterprise within the next week and a half. Two weeks is more than enough time to recover." Forest said, grinning.

"Two weeks?! Are you serious?!" Pike almost fell off his chair. Two weeks wasn't even enough time to recover from a common cold, let alone a bleed to the brain and whatever else Jim had been through.

"Why would we joke? We will be in touch with Admiral Archer to arrange a meeting with Jim. We understand you no longer have Doctor Digby on base. Therefore a psychiatrist will be in attendance via video comm. I suggest you focus your time on preparing Jim and not making false accusations, Admiral. Forrest out."

The screen turned black and Pike instantly put his head in his hands and breathed out hard.

"McCoy is going to kill me."


	23. Chapter 23

**_Authors Note:_  
**

 _I just cant stop! I've had some pretty incredible inspiration for my next Star Trek FanFic tonight, however I will not be starting it until this is finished. Every time I write a new chapter I feel like I can add more to it. I hope its all going ok and you're all enjoying it still! Positive reviews are always welcome!_

* * *

 **Chapter Twenty-Three**

"You've got to be kidding me. TWO WEEKS?" McCoy saw nothing but red. "How can they seriously expect Jim to be up to ANYTHING in two weeks? He's gone through some serious head trauma!"

"I tried to explain, but admirals at Starfleet will do anything to have Jim back on Earth with them. They want him back on Enterprise in two weeks. They are arranging a video conference with Archer. They want Jim to attend." Pike explained, keeping his distance from McCoy.

"So I have no choice but to wake his sorry ass up and get him ready to talk to admirals… with a brain bleed. Fantastic. These admirals need a serious talk with the doctors at Starfleet medical. Even they will think it's a crazy idea." McCoy found himself raising his voice, but he didn't care.

"Could waking him up now cause more damage?" Pike dared to ask.

McCoy placed his hands behind his neck and took a deep breath to calm himself down. "It depends on the bleed. If it's slowing down it shouldn't cause more damage and I should be able to control it with some further treatments."

"And if it's not?" Pike took a step back, just in case McCoy swung for him.

"Then I won't risk it. I won't wake him up until the bleeding has at least slowed." They both turned to look at Jim, all his vitals were remaining stable which in Pike's eyes was positive, but he wasn't a doctor.

"Doctor…" Nurse Chapel had recently returned from her quarters refreshed. She was trying hard not to listen to the private conversation the pair were having however being the only ones in the med bay meant she had no choice. Especially as McCoy's voice was raised with anger, it sent a small echo through the empty room. "I think you should see this." She said, handing him a PADD with a scan on it. "Please don't be mad, I just completed a quick scan of his head while you were talking."

McCoy smiled at the picture on the PADD. "How can I be mad?" he looked up at her, instantly handing the PADD to Pike. "The bleedings practically stopped. Jim's healing himself. I don't even need to get the dermal regenerator out."

Pike had to admit, he had no idea what he was supposed to be looking at in the picture, but he couldn't wipe the smile off his face when he heard McCoy explain it. "That means you can wake him up?"

"I'd like to give him another hour and repeat the scan, but if there's still no issues then I don't see why we can't." McCoy said, taking the PADD back off Pike while he tapped at the screen, checking all angles of Jim's head.

"That's fantastic news. I'll inform Archer." Pike turned on his heel and almost skipped out the medical bay.

"He won't be ready for visitors right away. I need to assess if there's any damaged caused by the procedure and also if that damn laser left any damage too. I'll be the first to let you know when he is." McCoy called out, making notes on his PADD.

* * *

Admiral Archer was slumped at his desk. This whole incident had easily aged him 10 years. Between dealing with daily medical reports from McCoy, daily meetings with Starfleet and then having to file and conduct reports on the whole Digby/Francesco problem he was just exhausted. He placed his head in his hands and let out a sigh.

"Admiral – I hope I'm not interrupting."

Archer looked up with his tired eyes. He didn't even hear his office doors whoosh open. "Ah, Christopher, not at all." He said, sitting back up straight. He waved to the chair opposite, gesturing Pike to take a seat.

"I thought I would give you the good news personally." Pike began as he stepped into his office and took the seat opposite Archer.

"I could do with some good news. Please tell me it's the news I want to hear." Archer said, trying to keep his posture.

"I'm assuming you read the latest medical report McCoy sent you?" Pike said, trying not to draw attention to the fact Archer clearly hadn't slept in days.

"Of course. I've just had to have a discussion about it with Starfleet. I'm pretty sure I could repeat it word for word… and I'm not even a doctor." Archer said, rolling his eyes.

"Well, the bleeding in Jim's brain. McCoy thinks it's stopped." Pike said, smiling.

Archer took a sigh of relief "Well that is just the news I needed to hear."

"Doctor McCoy plans to wake Jim up within the hour – depending on what his next scan says." Pike continued

"Then I want to be there." He said, slamming his hands on the desk, attempting to wake himself up a little.

"McCoy has requested privacy while he assess Jim." Pike said, sitting back in his seat.

"I thought the Vulcan prevented any damage? Surely he doesn't need to be assessed?" He asked, looking confused.

"Commander Spock could only tell us so much, for example Jim no longer feels pain when you say his name. However this could only be in his mind. McCoy needs to test that theory out with Jim conscious. Not only that but he needs to see if Jim's been affected by the laser that caused the brain bleed. We can't distract Jim." Pike explained.

"Then I need to be informed when he's ready for us. Starfleet have requested that I debrief him as soon as possible." Archer continued. He didn't admit it but nothing annoyed him more than taking orders from someone else.

"I'm sure McCoy will be in touch as soon as he's ready. You should be able to talk to him later on today." Pike said reassuring him. He could tell McCoy's request had hit a sour spot for Archer.

"That is good news. I think we should keep this from Starfleet for the time being. I'll think of an excuse as to why our communication was delayed with him waking up." A small silence fell between them as they agreed. Starfleet would just want to get involved sooner and Jim needed all the time he could get to recover. "Chris, I've been informed that you think the… 'Laser problem' wasn't down to human error and you want to investigate it."

"That's correct. It wasn't McCoy's fault. Something went wrong with that machine and I can prove it." Pike spoke with confidence.

"I hope you can. Starfleet are insisting it was human error and unless you can get some pretty obvious evidence then… well Admiral Forrest isn't one to take accusations made against him very well." Archer cupped his hands together, placing them on the desk.

"Don't worry, sir. I'll get my evidence." Pike winked at him.

"I'm sure you can, Christopher." He said, dropping the formalities. "As they want to see it during Jim's meeting in three days."

"Wait. Three days? They said two weeks! What happened to that?" Pike suddenly felt a rush of panic hit him.

"I think you misunderstood, they want Jim back on Enterprise in two weeks, well in one and half weeks now. They don't want him on this star base any longer than they have to. It's used as a major medical facility and they just can't justify shutting it down for one person." As much as Archer didn't like to admit it, Starfleet had good reasons behind the request.

Pike was silent. The only thing that stopped McCoy from punching him last time he gave him a time limit was the fact Jim was getting better. Three days was no time at all. He nodded as he rose off his chair. "You can be the one to tell Doctor McCoy then."

"Of course." Archer held his hand out for Pike to shake. "It was good talking to you Admiral Pike."

Pike took hold of Archer's hand and squeezed it tightly as they shook.

"I know you can prove Forrest wrong." Archer said, pulling Chris' hand closer to him.

* * *

"Its good news." McCoy said, his smile beaming ear to ear. He had given Jim an hour to prove that his first scan was correct. "The bleeding has stopped."

Nurse Chapel smiled back at McCoy. "Hes just as head strong as he was before."

"I guess that means we can wake him up!" McCoy continued, grabbing hold of a stimulant and clicking it into his hypo spray. "You ready for this?" he said, teasing Nurse Chapel.

"Are you?" She teased back. "If he's back to normal he will be planning his escape the second he wakes up and realises where he is."

"He can try!" McCoy almost laughed as he pressed the hypo into Jim's neck. The second he took the spray away Jim's eyes had already started to flutter.

McCoy and Nurse Chapel exchanged looks, not knowing what to say or how to address him until finally, Chapel gave McCoy the nod he was waiting for. It wasn't often that he required encouragement but this worried him. So getting the heads up from her was enough for him to continue.

"Jim?" he whispered. Both sets of eyes instantly flicked up to the monitor above Jim's head. His vitals remained the same and both Chapel and McCoy took a sigh of relief.

"Bones?" Jim whispered back. Scrunching his eyes together before pealing them open slightly so he could adjust to the lighting.

"It's good to see you awake. How do you feel?" McCoy asked, holding back his excitement of seeing his friend.

"Headache." Jim whispered again, his throat was dry and itchy. He shut his eyes again as they struggled to focus.

"I can give you something for that in a minute." McCoy noticed Jim had his eyes shut. "Jim, I've got some questions I have to ask you."

"Do you have to?" Jim replied keeping his eyes shut. He really didn't feel like talking, especially as it hurt his dry throat.

"How about some water?" McCoy placed a cup on the bed table and moved it closer to Jim.

Jim peaked out of one eye, allowing his vision to focus. "Really?" he croaked.

McCoy picked up the cup and waved it at Jim. "If you answer my questions." He teased, placing the cup back on the table.

Jim watched him lower the cup, everything in his body was screaming out for him to grab it, but he just didn't have the energy to move. "Fine. Ask away."

McCoy pulled a stool closer to Jim's bed and sat on it. "If there's anything you don't want to answer then don't. Okay?"

Jim frowned, what could he possibly not want to answer? "Ok…" he said, trailing off a little.

McCoy took a deep breath. "What do you remember about how you got here?"

There was a long pause as Jim thought. He did remember, the memories were there in his head and no longer causing him pain. It was a whole new feeling for him.

"The Klingons." Jim's eyes almost burst open. "Gateway! Did they get away? What happened to them?" Jim's heart was starting to race as more memories of what happened to him flooded his mind.

"Take it easy." McCoy said, placing a gentle hand on Jim's bicep. "You've been through a lot, you need to take it easy. I promise everything will make sense soon."

Jim looked down at McCoy's hand touching his arm. "I have a question…"

"What's that?" McCoy asked, assuming it would be about his headache or the way he was treated by the Klingons.

"Why can't I feel you touching me?" Jim asked, without his eyes moving away from McCoy's hand on him.


	24. Chapter 24

_**Authors Note:**_

 _Just a little update tonight - I hope you like! I've already started chapter twenty-five. So hopefully that'll be up later today or tomorrow :) Thank you for the reviews, they inspire me and always brighten up my day._

* * *

 **Chapter Twenty-Four**

McCoy was determined to remain calm, if he showed that he was panicking then no doubt Jim would start to panic. He quickly whipped up the thin white sheet covering Jim's legs and feet and squeezed his right big toe. "How about this? Can you feel what I'm doing?"

Jim looked at McCoy with confusion slapped all over his face. "No… are you doing something I should be concerned about?" he almost joked.

McCoy continued to prod at the rest of Jim's right foot. "How about any of this?"

"Have you developed a new foot fetish you need to tell me about?" Jim managed to let out a dry laugh. "But seriously, no. I have no idea what kind of fondling you are doing down there."

McCoy didn't look amused, he didn't even take note of Jim's attempt to be funny. He picked up a sharp scapel like tool and poked at his left foot. Before he could even ask Jim if he could feel it the obvious sharp intake of air and the flinching away of the foot was enough to show McCoy he could.

"You feel that?"

"No shit Sherlock." Jim let out a small cough, "Can I have my water now?"

McCoy covered up Jim's feet. "Only if you pick it up with your right hand." He requested, crossing his arms.

"I think we both know that's not going to happen." Jim said, moving his left hand up in the air to grab the water, although McCoy was too quick for him and moved it away.

"You have to try. This is serious." McCoy said, holding the water close to Jim's right hand.

"You're seriously going to make a sick man from his water?" he coughed.

McCoy didn't even fall for Jim's apparently fake cough. "Yes. I am."

Jim rolled his eyes. "Fine." He huffed. Jim looked down at his lifeless arm. He had no idea how he was supposed to get it to move just by looking at it, but it helped him concentrate a little.

"Can you feel anything?" McCoy asked, watching for any movement.

"It just feels… I don't know. Numb? It wasn't numb before. What happened?" He asked, looking up from his arm.

McCoy pulled up a chair and sat down next to Jim. "You remember what the Klingons did to you? The mind sifter technology?" McCoy asked, watching Jim give a slight nod. "To repair the damage they performed on you we had to use a machine called a mind probe on you. Do you remember?"

Jim thought hard. "You told me about that. The lasers… in… my head." He trailed off as his mind was full of the conversation he had earlier. "Did something go wrong?"

"Before you think the worst, we didn't miss and hit any other parts of your brain." McCoy said quickly.

Jim raised his left hand and felt his head. The thick bandages made him soon retract it. "Then what happened?"

McCoy took a deep breath. "One of the lasers went too far into your head. It caused a small bleed on your brain. I have a report on everything that happened, you are welcome to read it when you feel up to it."

Jim almost turned white. "My brain was bleeding… and now I can't feel most of my right side. Will I be like this forever?"

McCoy didn't know what to say, he didn't have the answer Jim wanted. "I don't know. We will need to perform some tests. Jim, I don't want you to worry about this."

"That's easy for you to say." He mumbled back. "I could loose my… The ship! How is the enterprise? The crew?"

"Everyone is fine, the ship included. Although they don't know you are here." McCoy explained.

Jim frowned. "So they are just hoovering around in space without us?"

"They think Nurse Chapel and I are attending some medical training course on something to do with Vulcans. Spock is here too, he will come and see you later if you'd like." McCoy almost laughed at the idea of him attending a medical course on Vulcan's again, it was a good cover plan.

"I would like that. I remember Spock in my mind… he must have helped the treatment?" Jim thought about what Spock had done to help him. He could feel his eyes start to water but managed to retract the water away.

"He protected your mind during the treatment and did a damn good job of it if you ask me… but don't tell him I told you that." He smiled.

Jim yawned. "Can I have my water now? All this concentrating… it's harder than you think."

"If an attention span like yours, why am I not surprised you're getting tired?" McCoy said as he passed Jim the cup of water.

"I'd like to see you go through what I've been through and be up and talking by the end of the day." Jim teased, taking sips of his water.

"Jim, I couldn't have coped with what you've been through, I don't think many could." McCoy smiled at him. "Get some rest and I'll arrange some visitors."

* * *

Pike took a deep breath outside the Med bay doors. No doubt Archer had already told McCoy about Jim's meeting in three… well almost two, days and he wasn't going to be happy. He hadn't been invited back to the med bay either, so no doubt McCoy was going to be pissed about that too. However if he was going to get to the bottom of whatever happened to Kirk, he was going to have to investigate that mind probe machine… which meant walking through med bay. He hoped McCoy was getting some rest somewhere although he doubted it. Everyone knew that he didn't like to leave Jim.

The doors whooshed in and he stepped inside. His attention was drawn straight onto Jim's bed, the curtain was wide open but it was obvious Jim was still asleep. McCoy paced up to him, "I thought I said-"

Pike raised his hand, causing McCoy to stop talking. "I'm not here to see you or Jim."

"Well there was me thinking you were going to be the start of his meeting. Three days? Three god damn days?! You've got to be kidding me." McCoy shook his head as he folded his arms in disgrace. "I'd love to see what the Starfleet senior medical think of all this."

"How was he when he woke up?" Pike asked looking over to Jim.

"Numb. He can't feel most of his right side and before you ask – I don't know how long it will last until I get my latest test results through. It shouldn't affect this stupid meeting though." McCoy said, also watching over Jim. "Anyway, if you're not here to see Jim, what are you doing?"

"I need to see the mind probe machine. I have a feeling that it was tampered with thus causing that laser spike to hurt Jim. If I can prove it to the admirals at Starfleet then they should back off him for a while." Pike explained. "Could you show it to me?"

"It's this way." McCoy said, leading Pike to the treatment room they had previously been in just hours ago. He opened the door and led Pike inside. "This is the computer console that control the lasers." McCoy explained, as he tapped away on the console.

Pike stepped in front of the console. He tapped away at the screen checking over previous records and set ups of the machine. His eyes didn't leave the screen for a good five minutes.

"Find anything?" McCoy asked, still standing in the room with Pike just an ear shot away from Jim.

"I need the medical override. There are some encrypted files stored away but I don't think I'll be able to access them without higher authority." Pike answered, still taping away at his screen.

"I have an access code." McCoy said, stepping closer to Pike again. "I saw Digby type it in when we were preparing the screen, so thought it would be handy to make a note of it." He pulled out a small note book from his pocket and flicked to the first page.

Pike looked at the notebook and smirked.

"Well, it looked like a handy thing to have." McCoy said, defending himself before Pike could question it. McCoy tapped in the code and was granted access. He moved back to the side before Pike could push him out the way.

"There it is." Pike said, flicking open one of the secured files. "Looks like someone adjusted the measuring frequencies of one of the lasers." He turned to look at McCoy who clearly had no idea what that meant. "It means the machine was purposely sabotaged. When you programmed it to be inserted 2mm, the machine automatically assumed that 5mm was the correct measure."

"So somebody wanted this to happen? Why would anyone do that to Jim?" He asked, not understanding what was going on.

"It was Digby. I don't know her reasoning but I'll be sure to get to the bottom of it." Pike said. He inserted a small cartridge into the console and downloaded the file. "This evidence will be more than enough to support my accusation." He grinned.


	25. Chapter 25

**Chapter Twenty-Five**

"Anything you don't understand, just ask me. We've got a busy afternoon and I need to fully understand what's happened to you." McCoy told Jim, passing him a PADD with all his medical logs and files on regarding Jim's recovery. "Remember – I thought you were dead. Don't take anything to heart, okay? Nurse Chapel will be here for your deep tissue massage soon. Try to look excited about it."

"I can't feel any of it. It's a waste of time." Jim sulked. It had been two days since he had woken up in the med bay with his memories returning more and more with every hour. He could easily recall most of his favourite ones and enjoyed retelling them as they became fresh in his mind. However he still couldn't feel his left side. McCoy had narrowed it down to his all his fingers, his hand, 90% of his arm, 75% of his leg, all of his foot and all his toes. As he could feel his torso and back they had come to the conclusion that the numbness would be temporary, but how temporary they didn't know. Jim had become awfully low about the situation and if it wasn't for the promise of Nurse Chapel performing the deep tissue massages, he probably wouldn't be so willing to work with McCoy on moving at all.

"It keeps the muscle from rotting away and gets the blood moving. The more you do, the sooner you should get your feeling back. Chin up kid." He grinned, slapping Jim on his left arm. Jim's sudden low mood frightened him. He knew if Jim wasn't up to scratch mentally and physically then they would take his captaincy away from him. Spock and Pike had been to visit every day and encouraged him to continue working hard with his movements but the positive state of Jim's mind soon faded as they left.

Pike never stayed longer than an hour as he was busy working on his evidence against Doctor Digby. The more he searched for the more he found. She really had it in for Jim, mostly because of some random incident that happened in the academy years involving Jim and a drunken accident. Doctor Digby was studying medicine at the time. A drunken Jim kept correcting her in front of her senior staff, meaning she failed her practical exams. It affected her badly and she ended up dropping out of the medical side of things and studied the mind. However Pike was sure there was more to this story than just that one incident, after all she was incredibly head strong. He put it down to the fact she was close with Admiral Francesco, who also had it in for Jim due to his incredibly high test scores, despite the fact he never tried hard. It all seemed pretty petty in Pike's eyes.

Jim let out a groan before he even started to read the notes. "Do I really have to go through with all this?"

"Do you want to be back on Enterprise?" McCoy asked, trying not to look concerned at Jim wanting to give up, it wasn't like him.

Jim thought about his answer carefully. He really wanted to be back on Enterprise, more than anything. He wanted to see his crew… the crew that thought he was dead. But most of all he wanted to explore again. "Fine. Let's do this." He said, nodding at Nurse Chapel who had joined them without speaking.

"That's the spirit." McCoy said, smiling at Jim.

Jim took his time reading McCoy's notes and personal medical log. He couldn't believe how much his loss had affected his crew. They obviously all cared very much for him… and they missed him. There were 78 different crewmen that came and asked McCoy about grief counselling. He struggled to believe that they couldn't mourn the loss of him and more importantly had struggled to adapt to the change in captaincy. He continued to read about how McCoy felt and struggled without him. How he wanted to be transferred off the ship but Spock didn't allow it. How he had to remain strong for the crew and care for them while trying to mourn himself.

It was hard to read.

He got to the final log, it just so happened to involve Digby and what she tried to do to him. His grip tightened on PADD as the rage built up inside him. How could someone he didn't even know try and do that to him? He didn't understand, but it made him more determined than ever to get back to his ship and prove them all wrong.

"Captain!" Nurse Chapel called out, snapping Jim out of his own thoughts. "Your fingers, they twitched!"

Jim looked down at his lifeless arm, "Are you sure you didn't trigger a nerve or something?"

"I wasn't touching you at the time, sir. I promise!" She beamed at him.

"So I moved? By myself?" Jim looked up at her and smiled back.

"You certainly did, I'll go and get McCoy right away!" she beamed.

"Wait! Nurse, please. I want to surprise him." Jim said, stopping her before she ran off. After reading McCoy's logs it looked like he needed some cheering up. Seeing him twitch his fingers was surely something to smile about. "I promise to keep practicing."

Nurse Chapel smiled at Jim. "Okay, but if he asks, I haven't seen." She said giving him a sly wink agreeing to go along with his plan.

* * *

"You don't have to do this. I can try and get them to rearrange the meeting." McCoy said looking at Jim. His last round of exercises had clearly tired him out and all they did was work on his leg. "If you're too tired –"

"Bones – stop fussing. I think we both know I do need to do this. I want my ship back." He said with his eyes glistening.

McCoy couldn't hide his smile. His notes may have been depressing and miserable since his disappearance but they had somehow had a positive influence on Jim. Suddenly he had a whole new positive energy and look on things and the timing couldn't have been better. "You ready to get in the chair?"

Jim gave a slight nod before looking around the med bay. Luckily it was empty. He couldn't think of anything more embarrassing than having to be lifted into a chair by a doctor. McCoy lifted Jim's numb arm and wrapped it around his shoulders. He tucked his arm around Jim's frail body and supported his weakened side. Jim managed to stand for a few seconds on his working leg, which was just enough time for McCoy to position him into the chair easier. He lifted his numb leg up and placed it on the footstall and relaxed his arm on the arm on the chair. "Comfy?" he asked as he looked over Jim's vitals quickly with his tricorder.

Jim didn't say anything and just smirked at the doctor.

McCoy looked up from his tricorder results and frowned. "What's the goofy face for?"

Jim looked down at his resting arm. He had managed to squeeze all his fingers together in a loose fist and just as McCoy lowered his eyes to see what Jim was looking at, he managed to raise his thumb slightly.

McCoy laughed. "A thumbs up! Jim, that's amazing!"

"Knew you'd be pleased." He said, quickly letting his hand rest.

"See if you can do that for Pike after this meeting, I know he will be pleased to see all his hard work was appreciated." McCoy said, moving to the back of the chair to push Jim to the conference room they had prepared. "Oh and kid…" he said, stopping the chair just before the doors. "Next time you feel like showing off, let me know as soon as it happens will ya?!"

"Spoil sport." Jim teased as he was pushed out the doors.

* * *

"We call to this meeting; Captain James T. Kirk." Archer said to the room. A video comm had been set up between them all on the Star base and Admiral Forrest at Starfleet. They were all squeezed into the same medium sized conference room as before. There was less space with Jim's hover chair but they made it work.

"In attendance will be myself, Admiral Johnathan Archer, Admiral Christopher Pike and Admiral Maxwell Forrest via video comm. Doctor Leonard McCoy is in attendance as an observer only and will not be permitted to speak during the conference."

McCoy raised an eyebrow, giving a confused look across the table to Pike.

Pike just shook his head and shrugged his shoulders, he didn't know why they weren't permitting him to speak but he was pleased he was able to witness the meeting, he was there if he needed him.

"Also in attendance is Doctor Abigail Harrison. Starfleet General's finest psychiatrist." Forrest also addressed the room, before Archer could finish.

Jim looked up at the video, he couldn't believe the similarities in the young girl he was seeing to Penny. He was surprised he could even remember her, but he did. Her brown locks came down to her shoulders and her beautiful big brown eyes sparkled at him through the video.

"It's good to finally meet you, Captain." She said, smiling at him.

"I can't believe it. What are the chances?" Jim whispered.

McCoy looked at Jim with a confused expression. He had no idea what the chances of anything were but he sure hoped Jim could pull himself together for his chat with her.

"Captain Kirk. Do you understand why you are here?" Forrest asked, breaking Jim's focus from Abigail for the first time since she introduced herself.

"I do." Jim answered.

"Then you understand why we must have this meeting?" Forrest continued.

"I do." He stated again.

"Could you please explain to us, in your own words what happened to you during your most recent away mission?" Forrest asked, checking his memory.

Jim managed to go into great detail into what happened to their visit on Zander VI and even managed to fill in some of the blanks that McCoy didn't know about. The memory was fresh in his mind and he had no problems with retelling it.

He told them all about Gateway and the Mind Sifter technology with ease and clearly impressed Archer and Pike who had no questions about anything when he had finished.

"You say your memory has returned. Then can you tell me about your eye?" Forrest queried for more detail.

Jim went into more detail about the hospital and how he had met Penny. He explained how the porters assumed his mental state was 'insane' and beat him for it, causing his fractured eye socket. Jim was glad he had flicked through his own medical notes or there was no way he would have known about that, he couldn't remember the last time he looked in a mirror.

"It has come to our attention that you sustained a significant brain injury during your treatment. Tell us Captain, how do you feel now?" Forrest asked, leaning forward in his chair.

Jim swallowed the quickly forming saliva in his mouth down his throat. "I feel fine." He managed to squeak.

"Oh, I see. Then would you mind placing your hands on the table?" Forrest could easily tell Jim was hiding something and he wanted to find out what.

Jim exchanged a worried look with McCoy before doing what he was ordered. He picked up his right hand using his left and placed in onto the table, showing his hands.

"Can you raise your arms together Captain?" Forrest asked, continuing to put pressure on Jim.

"No." Jim almost muttered.

"And whys that?" Forest continued to bully his way into finding out the information he wanted to know, making Jim feel very small.

Jim sighed, there was no point in lying to his seniors, and he knew they would find out everything sooner or later. "I had a bleed on my brain caused by one of the lasers. It was injected too far and this is the damage it's caused."

"And is it life changing?" Forrest pushed for more information.

"No. Doctor McCoy ensures me its only temporary." Jim said confidently.

"And how can you be sure of this?" Forrest almost laughed at the thought of McCoy thinking damage like that was temporary.

"Well I started off two days ago completely numb and now I can do this…" Jim squeezed his hand tightly and lifted his thumb, giving the admiral a thumbs up.

Pike almost fell off his seat at the improvements he had made in such small amount of time.

"That's incredible, Jim!" Nurse Harrison spoke out, receiving a disapproving look from Forrest.

"The only reason that happened was because Dr. Digby sabotaged the machine." Pike spoke out, before Forrest could take the attention away from Jim.

"And you have evidence for this?" Forrest grinned.

"I'm sending it over now." Pike said, as he rose to his feet and inserted his cartridge into the video console. "Transmitting."

It only took seconds for the Admiral to receive what Pike had spent so long building on. "I suggest a short recess while I go over this new evidence." Forrest started. "In which time I request that Doctor Harrison evaluates Captain Kirk's state of mind."

"I agree." Archer said, rising to his feet also. "We will continue at 1800 hours."

"I would like to speak to the Captain alone, if that's possible." Harrison said over the men who were getting ready to leave.

McCoy gave Jim a quick look but Jim nodded and waved his working hand at him, he wasn't as worried when it came to talking to Doctor Harrison. He felt strangely safe with her.

"I'll be right outside." McCoy whispered, tapping his shoulders as he left the room.

Admiral Forrest had already left and Doctor Harrison sat in the middle of the screen.

"I cannot believe I'm speaking to you, Jim. A tale of your name has been passed through our family for generations and finally – I get to meet you."

* * *

 _ **Authors Note:**_

 _So we are almost there! But first a few un-answered questions... such as, how did Penny get her message through her family if Spock made her forget?  
Where is Spock? and most of all, will they let Jim return to Enterprise?_

 _So two updates in one night! you lucky people.  
if I've already described how Penny looks and I've got it drastically wrong could someone message me. I tried to re-read it all and find if I did, but I couldn't find it. Thank you._

 _Also - can you tell what Series I've been watching on Netflix? Star Trek - Enterprise may be the least liked of them all but I found myself getting into it much more than TNG!_

 _More to come soon! (as in - tomorrow. I hope!)_


	26. Chapter 26

_**Authors Note:**_

 _Just a little update before I round things up nicely! I hope its ok. Its quite a sweet little chapter in my opinion! We are almost at the end!_

* * *

 **Chapter Twenty-Six**

Jim stared at the video link with his jaw dropped, he couldn't quite believe what he was hearing. "You must be Penny's great, great, great… well granddaughter. I can't believe how much you look like her."

Abigail smiled at him. "She had good genes and yes, it's a lot of greats!" She almost laughed. "You met her back in the late 1950s. It was you that encouraged her battle for female working rights. She's a hero."

"She was a hero. She saved me." Jim smiled back at her, he still couldn't believe she had found him.

"Not according to her." Abigail said seriously.

Jim looked confused, how could she possibly disagree with her? He was there after all. "What did she tell you exactly?"

"She told us how you inspired her to fight for equal treatment of women in the workplace. You taught her to never give up her fight. When she cared for you, her male colleagues mistreated her, they assumed she would… fall for you, sir." Abigail grew slightly awkward speaking to her senior officer like that, but she couldn't think of another way to tell her story. "Penny continued to treat and care for you, despite the awful way the other doctors treated you. She grew fond of you, but not in the way the others assumed. She believed you were a part of something special. Turns out she was right."

"I inspired her to do all that? I don't see how, I was lost myself. I had no idea who I was or where I came from." Jim explained, dipping his head.

"She could see the determination to remember in your eyes. Every time she was around you, she felt an indescribable feeling, it made her want to do better. She became extremely determined to find your home. Luckily your home found you first." Abigail continued to explain.

Jim squinted as small flash backs of his final goodbye to Penny flicked into his mind. "I remember… Spock, didn't he make her forget?"

"No. He helped ease her pain. He showed her the hope of future and how important her staying in her own time was." Abigail continued to explain.

"And she explained this to generation after generation of her family?" Jim listened to her carefully, but still wasn't sure how it all made sense.

"She wrote a book, to be passed down generation to generation. That way the words and story would always be the same. She was incredibly determined to reach you again somehow." Abigail spoke with such beauty. Just like her grandmother.

Jim didn't know what to say, he couldn't stop smiling. "I'd like to see it one day."

"Next time you're on Earth I'd happily show it to you, I'm sure Penny would have liked that." Abigail smiled back at him. "I'm also sure she would be pleased to see you smiling."

Jim continued to smile, remembering there wasn't really much of a chance to smile when he was stuck in the hospital. It felt good, it was the happiest he had felt in a long time. "Thank you."

"No, Thank You, Jim. Your positive influence changed the world. Don't worry – I can see what incredible progress you're making. I'm going to make sure you get back onto your ship. The world and beyond needs you to continue making positive changes."

"I don't know what to say…" Jim said, feeling his happiness overwhelm him.

"You don't have to say anything. Just keep up the good work and you'll be back to your ship soon." Abigail finished, she gave him a quick wink before closing the video comm. down.

* * *

"We welcome back Captain James T Kirk, Admiral Christopher Pike, Doctor Leonard McCoy and myself, Admiral Johnathan Archer to continue our meeting. Unfortunately due to some interference we are unable to continue the video link with Admiral Forrest and Doctor Harrison. However, his views on Admiral Pike's findings and a report on Jim's mental state of mind have been transferred over."

"Typical" McCoy muttered under his breath.

"Gentlemen, I won't beat around the bush with the news I have received." Archer spoke seriously. Causing the tension in the room to rise. McCoy noticed Jim's hands shaking in his lap under the table. He wanted nothing more than to still them for him, although he was sure Jim would prefer it if he pretended not to notice.

"First of all, congratulations Christopher. Your hard work and effort was a success and Dr Digby has added a new charge to her list by sabotaging medical equipment to cause serious bodily harm. Doctor McCoy, the doctors at Starfleet General are requesting Jim's medical notes on everything happened during and after his treatment. It will help build a stronger case against her for a hearing to take place."

"It will be a pleasure." McCoy grinned as he exchanged looks with Pike.

Jim was silent, although Abigail had said she would give him a positive review, he still couldn't help but feel nervous. Especially as the Admirals at Starfleet wanted him back on Earth. He squeezed his hands together in an attempt to still them.

"Captain Kirk." Admiral Archer said, taking a deep breath. "Jim…" he said.

Both McCoy and Pike sat on the edge of their seats and the fact Archer was teasing them like this just irritated them both.

"Your orders are to return back to Enterprise. They aren't taking you away from her." Archer smiled as he felt the tension lift.

Both McCoy and Pike rose to their feet and embraced each other in a man hug, before swiftly pulling apart and shaking hands with a slight awkwardness.

Jim laughed at the pair. "Thank you so much, Admiral. I don't know what to say."

"You do have to finish your exercise routine until you are back on your feet, however Commander Spock is 'happy' to remain in command until you are signed fit for duty… did I really just say a Vulcan would be happy?" Archer almost laughed at himself.

"Speaking of Commander Spock, I am surprised he wasn't involved in this meeting to start. Wasn't he evidence for Jim against Digby?" Pike asked, looking around the room.

"Spock had to return to Enterprise last night. He found the Star base environmental settings… uncomfortable." Archer explained. "He has given a formal report on his experience on Doctor Digby."

"It was too cold for him." McCoy smirked.

"Captain, Doctor, you are welcome to stay on the star base for the next few days. In fact, I welcome it. However it would be wise for you to return to your ship soon after. We are expecting a medical emergency in roughly 7 days, roughly 24 were injured. We will need time to prepare the med bay." Archer explained, cutting the celebrations short.

"I'd feel more at home on my own ship, sir." Jim said, squeezing his hands together as they finally stopped shaking.

"Jim, we want you at your best before you meet the crew again. It'll be best to stay here the next few days and then we can return. However you're staying right in my sickbay where I can keep an eye on you." McCoy said, squeezing his shoulder.

"Fine. As long as I get to see the crew first." Jim said crossing his arms.

"You are all dismissed. Well done everyone, looks like everything is as it should be." Archer said, rising to his feet.


	27. Chapter 27

**Chapter Twenty-Seven**

Jim sat up in his bed, he had his ear phones in his ears and enjoyed sitting up watching the world rush around him as he relaxed to his music. McCoy and Nurse Chapel were busy packing bags and making reports to be sent back to the Enterprise while Pike was coming to bid him farewell later on in the day. Today was the day that Jim would finally return to his ship and his crew. He couldn't wait and the thought of seeing his crew… his family, again, made the hair on the back of his neck rise. He couldn't wait to see them again and to let them know he was ok.

His movement was still minimal however, with his twice daily massages and intense physical therapy sessions with McCoy the movement was returning. He had feeling back in most of hand and fingers again, although he wouldn't be writing with it for a little while longer. He still couldn't move most of his foot or feel his toes but managed to stumble about using a crutch for a couple of minutes at a time. Every day he was improving more and his desire to move again motivated him to push himself more and more.

Spock was expecting them at 1600 hours. It was enough time for McCoy to transfer the goods without anyone asking questions. All the crew had been informed of a passenger joining them but nobody stated who it was. To be fair to Spock and Scotty, nobody asked the name of said passenger anyway.

Jim closed his eyes, taking in the music with deep breaths. He was so ready to leave and be back in his own quarters… even though he knew he was going to be stuck in sickbay for a while. At least he knew he would have plenty of visitors waiting to see him.

Soon, unbeknown to Jim, a couple of hours had passed and he felt some tapping on his left hand, luckily it was the hand he could feel without any problems. He opened his eyes slowly, noting the time on the clock above the doors. "Oh." He said stretching. "I must have nodded off."

"That's fine, Jim. You need to rest." McCoy said, looking at him pull his earphones out.

Jim gave McCoy a strange look. "If I hear rest any more I think I might lose it."

McCoy crossed his arms and gave him a stern scolding look. "Jim. You've got a visitor."

Jim placed his music player on his table and looked at the stale sandwich sitting on the tray. "How longs that been there?" He asked, using his good hand to poke at the sandwich.

"Since you fell asleep. Don't play with your food, Jim." McCoy continued to scold him as he waved Pike over to the pair.

Pike moved closer to them, smiling as he watched Jim ignore McCoy.

"I just came to say goodbye."

Jim looked up from sandwich poking. "It's been great to see you again. Thank you for all of your help." Jim lifted his weakened arm up and held his hand out to shake it with Pike's.

Pike couldn't help but smile. Just two short days ago Jim couldn't even feel his arm, let alone shake someone's hand with it. "I'm proud of you, Jim. Keep up the good work" He shook Jim's hand using both of his, squeezing it tightly to express his fondness.

"McCoy. It's always a pleasure." Pike said, holding his hand out to shake McCoy's hand. "Don't work him too hard."

"I always do." McCoy said, shaking his hand back.

* * *

"Two weeks." Sulu groaned at his station.

"Oh not again." Uhura muttered, rolling her eyes.

"Two weeks since we rushed to this star base from Gateway." Sulu continued to moan, pushing pointless buttons on his console. "No explanation. No orders. Starfleet just sticks us out here station keeping. Can't even swing a little shore leave."

Uhura ignored Sulu's moaning and focused on her own station. Spock was sat in the captain's chair choosing to also ignore Sulu's subtle hints at trying to get shore leave.

"Captain, we have successfully docked. Doctor McCoy and our passenger are on-board safely. We have orders from Admiral Archer to… stand by?" She was confused, it wasn't normal for them to order them to stand by, it was usually disengage and continue with new orders.

Spock didn't say a word, he knew the plan was for the captain to visit the bridge before going down to sickbay. Spock agreed that it would be a positive experience for him. He rose to his feet and made his way over to his station. He just stood there with the hands in the small of his back while the other officers exchanged looks with each other.

* * *

Jim took a deep breath. His journey back to Enterprise went without a hitch. Spock had cleared the decks between the docking port and the turbo lift, allowing full privacy as he made his way to the bridge as per his agreement with McCoy.

As much as he needed it, Jim hated being stuck in a hover chair. It was humiliating that so many had to look down to speak to him. There was no way he was being pushed onto his bridge. His crew shouldn't see him that vulnerable.

"Park the chair here please, Bones." He said as they pulled up to the turbo lift. "I'm walking the rest."

"Jim… are you sure?" McCoy looked worried, he could only really stand up a few minutes at a time, but he was improving.

Jim didn't even bother answering. He slowly lifted his leg off the footplate of the chair and pushed himself up, using the Enterprise walls to steady himself. He spoke no words and just nodded to his doctor.

"Take this then, just to steady yourself." McCoy said while he parked the chair and passed him a crutch.

It didn't take long for the turbo lift to arrive. Together they slowly moved inside and McCoy waited for Jim to address the computer.

"Bridge." He said, grinning at McCoy.

The doors whooshed open as they reached their destination and all eyes were on the doors.

Captain James T Kirk walked out onto his bridge proudly, smiling at them all.

"Captain!" Uhura said, pushing herself off her chair and forgetting formalities. She quickly forced herself into hugging him.

The rest of the officers soon joined her, each taking it in turn to shake his hand or hug him tightly.

"Alright! Alright!" McCoy soon spoke up as the officers surrounded Jim, who hadn't been able to stop smiling as his family greeted him. "Remember, you're not fit for duty until I say so! To sickbay with you Jim."

"Ill be there in a minute." He said, winking at the doctor. "So, what are we all standing around for? There's work to do." Jim addressed his officers formally. It was like he never went away. The officers happily followed his orders and with smiles on all their faces they returned back to their stations.

McCoy slapped Jim on the shoulder, grasping it tightly.

"Welcome back, Jim."

Jim grinned, watching the Doctor move closer to the turbo lift, where he waited for him. He hobbled closer to his chair slowly.

"I missed you." He said to his bridge. "I didn't realise how much, until now."

 **THE END**

* * *

 _ **Authors Note:**_

 _and that's a wrap! I hope you've all enjoyed this story as much as I have writing it.  
I would like to say THANK YOU ALL to who wrote a review, private messaged me, encouraged me and supported me through this. _

_A special mention to Star Trek New Voyages for inspiring me to write my own take on this story._

 _I cant believe its come to an end but there we go!  
My next story will be a series of one-shots for a change, but of course will be a Jim!Hurts series. Look out for it coming soon!_

 ** _-I Do Not Own Star Trek, Star Trek New Voyages or The Mind Sifter by Shirley Maiewski._**


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